Desparate for kindness

[Shaoline]

[WorkingItOut]

I'm very sorry about your situation. But I can assure you that things WILL get better. I went through a very rough time a few years ago and thought things would never improve, but they are slowly but surely getting there (even though I'm just now filing bankruptcy). Believe it or not, I view bankruptcy as my way out of a bad situation, not the start of a bad situation. Bankruptcy is a business decision and nothing more. No one wants to be bankrupt, but it's not the end of the world. Keep moving forward one day at a time. Keep making goals and taking baby steps to get there. It won't happen overnight, but you can achieve anything you want. This was a set back but not the end. Hang in there.

[ready2puke]

You poor sweetie, I'm so sorry, but at least you made it thru that 341 meeting, right? Its over now, so breathe.....
Hows your hubby doing now? Everyday will seem a bit more sunny and closer to your 60days...

[Shaoline]

will to survive

Thank you ready2puke and WorkingItOut for your kind words!!!

Yes I made it through the 341, though my attorney told me I have to go to debt counciling again. That is another $65 dollars I have to pay at a time when funds are tight. The trustee is disputing the equity amount of the house I own in North Carolina which is my homestead. But yes, I made it through. No creditors where there to dispute.


I keep telling myself that bk is the practical thing to do. I was not prepare for the fact the 341 was not private, I was in a room with 50 other people. I was asked alot of questions by the Justice Dept in front of those people. It was humiliating. I looked terrible from all the stress and crying. I'm trying to handle this in a non emotional way, but going to court made it so very real. I did answer the questions without crying, I was composed.

Bankruptcy is not easy. I don't know why many people think you're getting away from responsibility. My husband and struggle with the lenders, 2 bad tenants (one abandoned the property another I had to evict), damage to properties from weather and tenants, adjustable going up as much as $1000 for 2 of our properties. I fought till there was no fighting left to do. I was fighting a losing battle.

I have had alot of success in life. Not having things go my way for such a long period of time (4 years) was so hard. I keep telling myself this is not the end of my world. I started my adult life with nothing and went on to make 6 figures a year which had been my dream when I was a young adult. I had couple of rental properties that were profitable.

How do you get back on the horse after getting knocked off? How do you overcome your self doubt? How have those icons of success found new success after they have gone through terrible financial losses? I'm trying to find the courage.

When I stop crying I'm going to gather up the courage to create a new dream for myself, but right now I'm in the dumps.

Maybe I'll read one of Donald Trumps books for inspiration.

Thank you!

[Never_Again]

You can do this!

The only way to get back on the horse, is to get back on it. No, it is not easy, and it may hurt a bit, but you just have to do it.

Start by making plans to emerge from bankruptcy. This is a temporary state, and it shouldn't be a permanent thing. Get your budget on paper, or computer, or however you are going to do it. Spend every dollar on paper before it arrives in your checkbook. Live below your means. Make plans to increase your income once again. Remember, this is just a stop on the journey.

Above all, make sure that your husband is taken care of, and feeling better.

You can emerge from this stronger than ever, and be better than ever!

[soleprop]

shaoline, i would like to suggest a book by Mother Teresa: "A Simple Path" - reading that book brought me peace and happiness and a sense of purpose that wasn't tied to my material and financial realities.

go hug the sun - it shines for you daily!

[hereforinfo]

Aw, you're not a failure. It's only money. There are a LOT of Americans in a situation similar to yours right now, you are not alone. Just hang in there, it will get better, I promise.

[BigJohn]

Thank you ready2puke and WorkingItOut for your kind words!!!

Yes I made it through the 341, though my attorney told me I have to go to debt counciling again. That is another $65 dollars I have to pay at a time when funds are tight. The trustee is disputing the equity amount of the house I own in North Carolina which is my homestead. But yes, I made it through. No creditors where there to dispute.


I keep telling myself that bk is the practical thing to do. I was not prepare for the fact the 341 was not private, I was in a room with 50 other people. I was asked alot of questions by the Justice Dept in front of those people. It was humiliating. I looked terrible from all the stress and crying. I'm trying to handle this in a non emotional way, but going to court made it so very real. I did answer the questions without crying, I was composed.

Bankruptcy is not easy. I don't know why many people think you're getting away from responsibility. My husband and struggle with the lenders, 2 bad tenants (one abandoned the property another I had to evict), damage to properties from weather and tenants, adjustable going up as much as $1000 for 2 of our properties. I fought till there was no fighting left to do. I was fighting a losing battle.

I have had alot of success in life. Not having things go my way for such a long period of time (4 years) was so hard. I keep telling myself this is not the end of my world. I started my adult life with nothing and went on to make 6 figures a year which had been my dream when I was a young adult. I had couple of rental properties that were profitable.

How do you get back on the horse after getting knocked off? How do you overcome your self doubt? How have those icons of success found new success after they have gone through terrible financial losses? I'm trying to find the courage.

When I stop crying I'm going to gather up the courage to create a new dream for myself, but right now I'm in the dumps.

Maybe I'll read one of Donald Trumps books for inspiration.

Thank you!

When I was with my first wife, we were worth $1.8 million. Things started to change when I had a serious fall. 1 and 1/2 years later, the doctors said they would operate and I would not be in pain any more but would not walk again. Before I could decide on the operations, events changed. The next day my wife and her boyfriend made their move and that was to take every thing. I lost a lot but the bright side of all of that was I didn't have the operations and still walk fairly good with not hardly any pain if any pain. My life changed and later I got to go around the world so many times I don't remember how many times I did go. I know one year I went 12 times. As a result of my travels, I got to meet my new wife to be and started over again.

Since we have been married, I unfortunately have had 2 bad bouts with MRSA (you know, the bacteria that eats you alive) and came down with severe diabetes. The best part is I won over the MRSA and I think I might beat the diabetes.

What I have learned is that when we have 'bad' times, it helps us to enjoy the good times. You are experiencing 'bad' times, but just think how good it will feel when the good times come your way?

[willsurvive]

Hang in there and please know you are not alone. I too have had a rough few years. Many ups and downs (though more downs lately). I thought filing bankruptcy would mean the end of the world, but now that I am more educated about it I am realizing it is a relief. It is okay. Maybe you could find a hobby that will relieve stress or learn something new. I'm applying to go back to college and I'm 32 years old and want to be a registered nurse all of the sudden. That has helped keep me distracted.
There is hope, it's only money.