Reading BK's in the Newspaper

[Annika]

A strange coincidence ...

On a whim, last night I glanced at the online list of people who filed bankruptcy in the last couple of weeks, just to see how many there were. Hundreds and hundreds in this area! Probably 3-4 times as many as normal.

I scrolled down the list, and a name caught my eye. A girl I was friends with in high school was listed. We'd lost touch after DH and I got married 17 years ago, and I always wondered where she moved to.

I hate that she had to file bankruptcy, but was glad to see that she still lives in this area. Her address (and everyone else's address) was listed, so I'm going to send her a card.

I'm not going to tell her how I found her, though, as I don't want to make her feel awkward. Maybe she'll write me back and mention it herself, and then I can share my bankruptcy experience with her so she won't be as scared as I was!

[copper2]

Coincidence

The more I live, the more I believe there are simply no "accidents!" What a great story you shared!

[Genenco]

A strange coincidence ...

I'm not going to tell her how I found her, though, as I don't want to make her feel awkward. Maybe she'll write me back and mention it herself, and then I can share my bankruptcy experience with her so she won't be as scared as I was!

I think you should let her know right up front that you also filed BK as she's probably going to be sort of wondering why you contacted her.

Just a card saying "I know what you're going through and if you need a shoulder, call me" is a great way to once again regain a friendship.

[Annika]

I think you should let her know right up front that you also filed BK as she's probably going to be sort of wondering why you contacted her.

My card mentioned that we filed bankruptcy, but I didn't mention that I saw her name on the "filed" list. If she brings it up, I'll happily discuss it with her, but I didn't want to make her feel awkward if she knew that I knew. ;)

I hope I hear from her!

[Genenco]

My card mentioned that we filed bankruptcy, but I didn't mention that I saw her name on the "filed" list. If she brings it up, I'll happily discuss it with her, but I didn't want to make her feel awkward if she knew that I knew. ;)

I hope I hear from her!

Yes, that's a good way to do it..If I was her, I'd be calling you alot and she might..Because no matter what some of those fools who never filed Bk have never felt, is the sting of feeling you have no friends in the world when you file.

[AAAArt]

We phoned my wife's cousin who was listed. Told her that we saw it in the paper and that we had also filed and invited her out to dinner.
Next Monday we are meeting for a "coupon" dinner. You know, one of those reduced price coupons you get from time to time. Seemed perfect for 3 people going through BK. And no expensive alcohol!
She was really pleased that we had called!
I know the feeling that you're all alone and you're the scum of the earth and because of my losing my job through medical leave and some other things, we had already lost a large support group of so-called friends. I was reading in a book about BK support groups and didn't know of any in our town, so I remembered something from AA's Big Book. When tempted to drink, find another drunk and try to help them, so I guess we actually called for selfish reasons, but it did turn out that it was deeply appreciated. Art

[AAAArt]

Update...I have now figured out that our local paper seems willing to only dedicate 1/2 of a page to people filing BK. Today there were 81 cases listed. Whereas, 3 weeks ago that 1/2 page covered over a week, today it covered only 2 days. (Oct. 7th and 8th...they must be showing a day late since the
8th is a Saturday).
We filed on the afternoon of the 13th. I figure at this rate with the increased filings, they may have to begin taking two weeks to report one day. We could be anywhere from 3 to 6 weeks away.
I did do something for fun today though, I checked the obits first. Once I found that my name was not there, I figured that I could handle anything else.

[Annika]

Too cool! She IS the girl I went to school with! She sent me a wedding invitation, and a short note saying that she'd write more in a few days. I'm guessing she's very busy with her wedding less than two weeks away. I'm so happy for her that she's getting married, and can't wait to catch up on old times!

[AAAArt]

Update..We made the paper yesterday (Filed 10/13). #26 out of 72. I thought it wasn't a big deal (and still think that), but my emotions said differently. My wife wasn't bothered yesterday, but was aorried about going to work today.
Before my heart and stress caused me to go on medical leave, I was the Sr. Pastor at a church in our community for nearly 10 years. The people in this particular church were the biggest busy-bodies and gossipers you'll ever find and I know that we were being talked yesterday. It was hard, knowing that I had given so much and knowing that some people would be glowing and crowing.
Oh well, to make a long story short, the job and place were killing me. According to my doctors, the job and the way I was handling the stress was literally killing me. (It was a very difficult situation. Things had blown up 3 years prior. 6 people wanted me out and half the church said they would leave if I left.) Now my main two heart numbers are greatly improved. I have off of a variety of snti-anxiety/anti-depressants that we had tried over the years. This week I am going to file my paperwork to seek another church.
I guess the main thing that seeing our names in the paper did was to just take us one step farther down the road to recovery. Sometimes I feel like damaged goods and a black sheep.
Mainly this "news" item in our gossip rag of a newspaper just summed up the grief like an obit. A new job will require a move and my wife loves her current job. We may even have to live separately for 4-5 days a week for up to a year.
Today, I'm feeling rather alone (all of our old "friends" in the church have abandoned us and I'm feeling and cycling through the various stages of grief. But I am alive and I am feeling! (Too often I allow myself to feel for others and not for myself).
My wife just called from work while I was writing this and she is sick and going to the doctors. Don't ever try and tell me that our nevres don't play havoc with our physical health.
Anyway, just needed to vent and say that even though this is making grieve, that it is needed and healthy and I/we are on our way to a stronger, better life.
BTW, heard this little quote on TV last night..."The opposite of fear is faith"
Keep the faith, Brothers and Sisters in Bk and in turmoil. Art

[vm3118]

we have a lady at work that reads them every week and then comments on the ones she knows. I was worried cause for some very strange reasons she despises me so I figured she would make a very big production when she saw my name. I looked at my week i filed and my name wasnt listed lol this tickled me to death

[AAAArt]

Good for you!!! Don't people like your do-worker just irritate the *@^$ out of you? Art

[Minnymouth]

When I filed 18 months ago, I really felt bad.......
Co-workers convinced me it was the right thing to do....
Needless to say, later I found out that 4 of them had filed in previous years (well kept secrets)....... I never did get wind of them till they told me.... (course, I don't like gossip - so I'm not part of the "gossip ring" at the office)..
Made me feel better though.....

Annika,
So glad you found an old friend....... I did a few years back. I was online - got a IM saying - did you go to ????high school in ?????

I said yes, she said I'm !!!!!!!...

Gosh it was fantastic to hear from her.... We had grown up together, went all thru school together, dated together (I introduced her too her husband) and then after they married a moved away, we lost contact. Had not seen or spoke to her in 30 years......

Now we visit each other, chat every evening on the net, and keep close tabs on each other's families.

She has been a "blessing" thru my bankruptcy problems - they filed years ago.......

Yes its great to re-find old friends...............

Just my thoughts,

Minny

[robivi3]

AAAART, I know about Church splits and all. It is always the way i guess with any organization. They shoot their wounded. VERY SAD. One thing I will say for my blue shirts at Bus (as opposed to Rail where i am now), we fought amongst ourselves and had our clicques but white, black or latin if you ratted even your buddies pounced on you. You stuck together and if they came down on one we did things to them that would make you cringe. Turning on another Blue shirt in that place was physically dangerous. A large number of us are now in rail and afew times one of our transferees has "been taken to the woodshed" metaphorically for a "what the **** are you doin' speech". That is one thing I will say at Bus, if you were wounded you had a hundred guys to protect you. You otta see a bunch of guys go silent when you know they can do you in with testimony, we help one another. That is rare, unfortunately, in Churches.