Haven't been here for awhile, new news..

[DEBTCHAINS]

Well, we've been waiting for our loan mod from WAMU/CHASE before deciding which way to go with a BK. We got the papers today, and they helped, in their eyes.

Our payment went UP 200 bucks, but we'd be in a fixed mortgage, not adjustable. At the end of the day, I don't know how we can do it. We're going to sign the papers because our first payment isn't due till Feb 1st, but all it's going to do is buy us time. At that point, I'm wondering if we stay as long as possible and then file BK. We really wanted to save our house, that was first and foremost. If things stay as is, we'd be paying roughly 55% of our total income towards our home, and that's what got us into this mess. (well, sure didn't help)

Ugh, I look at my 2.5 year old son tonight and fight back tears, and I'm a grown man. What the hell happened? I feel lost all over again. If we do file Ch7, I'm sure we lose our home and we start all over. Rent with no credit and not have a place to call our own. I feel like a failure.

[Faust]

No! Don't feel that way!! PLEASE!!

[tkharvey]

You are not a failure! You join the rest of us here who got here, not because we were failures, but because of the troubled economy. We originally thought of filing BK to save our "dreamhouse" that we built five years ago. We could easily afford our payment back then while my hubby earned over $100,000 a year as a real estate agent. Times have changed, however, and has hard as it was to accept, we will be surrendering our house in our Chapter 7 bk. What you are feeling now is the very worst phase of this whole mess. Once you get used to the idea and realizing that filing and moving on (in a smaller house) will be the best thing for you, and your son. Everyone deserves another chance to make it "right" and that's what BK does. I understand how you feel, though. We have three daughters and in the beginning, I felt like a failure and that I was letting my kids down. Quite the contrary, though. This is just one step toward ultimately a better life. When my teenage daughter said to me last weekend, "can we move into a smaller house so that way we'll have more money to do things". That's what kids really want from us.....time together. You're thinking right. Get your mod (we were denied ours, which ultimately left us with no choice but to surrender) and then stop paying to save, save, save. You could easily end up living in your home rent free for a year or more....the first step in planning for your future. Good luck to you and your family.

[Faust]

Where are you located? Is your area a problem area for foreclosure? These lender's are out of their minds.

They aren't fooling me. They've got the gov to fall back on when their shitty loans go bad, you have no one.

Let me know what area you are in because things are so bad now (likely to get worse) that you can probably just stay where you are and wait for the next gov home saving program to start.

[AngelinaCatHub]

You should not. This economy was voted in by first the Reps, and for sure the Dems.

Haven't you noticed the vast amount of new members? Here in FL repo houses are 12.5%, unemployment 12.5%, could there be a connection? I wonder.

Brother, you are among friends. We are all kindred spirits and to empathize. However, we too are here on BKforum. 'Hub

[doingpoorly]

You are most certainly NOT a failure. You ARE doing all that you can to figure out how to best deal with your problems. Your little one looks to you to give him love and security. I promise you that he doesn't care one bit if you are living in a house you get to make payments on so that maybe in 30-40 years you can call it your own or if you give someone else money for a roof over your head. He wouldn't even care if you lived in a makeshift shelter in a tent city so long as he could feel your LOVE. Things are not what make us happy, people make us happy.

I hate how we, as a society, have become so consumed by the need to equate possession collecting with success. I know that my husband worries about not having the "right" place to live or a "nice" car to drive. He is getting better about it as he realizes that I just don't care one bit about stuff anymore. I have changed my ways and now all I care about is him, my four children and their happiness and health. Everything else is just gravy.

I think that a person who actually is a FAILURE doesn't care to try things a new way or even have the ability to recognize when things aren't right.

Things will get better, the skies will clear and you will feel success again. For me it didn't come quickly, but one day I realized, "hey, things don't suck so much anymore" and then things continued to gradually improve. Every day is better than the last.

I wish you the best.

[DEBTCHAINS]

Thanks for the kind words all. We're located in Southern California, Orange County. Lake Forest to be exact. We're meeting with a lawyer on Dec 2nd to explore all of our options. My wife and I are on edge, and where we were looking for this loan mod to really give us a new start, now, right before the holidays, feels like someone hit us over the head with a hammer.

[Faust]

Well, just hang in there. CA has a very high foreclosure rate so there is still some hope that you can somehow hold on.

I am very sorry about your situation but please know you are NOT alone!!

[Faust]

Check this out:

http://www.realtytrac.com/foreclosure/foreclosure-rates.html

[Michigan1951]

Thanks for the kind words all. We're located in Southern California, Orange County. Lake Forest to be exact. We're meeting with a lawyer on Dec 2nd to explore all of our options. My wife and I are on edge, and where we were looking for this loan mod to really give us a new start, now, right before the holidays, feels like someone hit us over the head with a hammer.

Stay with the forum for support for sure. Your story is very sad, and I will pray for you. You are not a failure. Others are right about this being part of the process of knowing the reality of your financial life to date. It's hard to accept reality, but it will bring peace once you let your mind take it in. It now will open a door to a new beginning for you.

[momisery]

I know how you feel really. But honestly hubby and I lived in a 1100 sq foot home, and thought we were doing the American dream, but doing it carefully. Nothing you could have done or we could have done is the real truth. Our economy was built on people spending their equity from their homes which were "growing" in value. It was not growing due to wage increases. In fact our wages have been droppping for a long time now, but our credit has gone up. I think we all became numb to what a dollar was. We need jobs that pay in this country, not inflatable dreams brought to you by 30 years of junkie politicians hooked to the wallets of wall street and big business/pharmee/healthinsurance.

[whipster1]

I used to feel like a failure when I finally couldn't jiggle the cards around every month to keep everyone paid. After I "failed" at that after doing it for 2 years and 2 failed business ventures, I found myself buying food without worrying, buying gasoline without worrying, buying a pair of shoes etc etc etc... all with cash left from the huge amount of money I was sending in to the rate-jacked and minimum-jacked cards.

After BK I have moved to a brand-spanking-new place, decent rent, nice neighbors...and since nobody can get loans there are many owner-financed places popping on the market.

I had to hit rock-bottom before feeling better. I hope your bounce is just as good as mine has been so far.

[Michigan1951]

I used to feel like a failure when I finally couldn't jiggle the cards around every month to keep everyone paid. After I "failed" at that after doing it for 2 years and 2 failed business ventures, I found myself buying food without worrying, buying gasoline without worrying, buying a pair of shoes etc etc etc... all with cash left from the huge amount of money I was sending in to the rate-jacked and minimum-jacked cards.

After BK I have moved to a brand-spanking-new place, decent rent, nice neighbors...and since nobody can get loans there are many owner-financed places popping on the market.

I had to hit rock-bottom before feeling better. I hope your bounce is just as good as mine has been so far.

Whipster1, I totally agree with you, and couldn't have said it better. It is like I just woke up being excited to use cash and not sign my life away to debt (cc's, car loans, etc.)
The economy has not been kind, but I have learned so much at my ripe old age of 58.
A new beginning for sure.

[florida]

Oh please don't feel like a failure....

I retained an attorney and we are filing next month. I can honestly say, I feel much better.
If it has come to this - then it has. I am looking forward to a better life and you will to.

Keep your chin up. I read this forum everyday and I have learned so much. My first post here was a panic. But, with time, I have come to terms with my situation. I think that was the hardest part.

Have a wonderful holiday.