Trying to keep my head above water

[JayGZ]

Thanks for the advice.

I have been tracking my expenses fairly closely this month.
I wish I could find areas where I've really splurged. I've already stopped going out for lunch at work as much as I did before.

My only really splurge is Starbucks and I can't say that it's much of a splurge considering it's just coffee--not a venti mocha--or anything. But it's still an area where I should be more cost conscious. I do like going there on a Sunday and getting the Sunday paper. But I plan to start clipping coupons for groceries, so I'll, hopefully, negate my Sunday Starbucks run through grocery savings.

The real problem I'm having is this. When I first wake up in the morning I wake up scared. I guess my mind is already on and it's flying through things somewhat irrationally and then when I get up and move around, I calm down a bit.

This is just scary for me and I'm surprised because most people sound fairly calm on here. And there are times where I feel a bit of relief--like I can stop running so hard to catch up on all this debt. That this bankruptcy will be the fresh start I need.

But I woke up this morning with the thought that someone would threaten my daughter over my debts. Crazy. My debts are cc, medical, student loan, and holiday loan. Not with a loan shark!

Part of me hopes that when I complete the paperwork that I'm only available for a chap. 13 because I'm not sure how I could come up with the legal cost of completing a chap. 7. I don't think I could go 3-5 months with creditor calls and hassles before coming up with that kind of money. I think the stress would get to me.

Can I do things before filing to get the money? I have money in a rollover fund from a 401(k). I know I will take an early withdrawal penalty for taking it, but it would get me closer to the lawyer fee for the chap. 7.
I've just heard stories about how you shouldn't do anything major in terms of cashing in things prior to a bankruptcy--but I've also heard that it relates only to after you file.

I know I sound a bit panicked, and I am. You wouldn't know it if you met me on the sidewalk, but on the inside I'm stressed by this.

I'm grateful for this message board, however, and the great advice and support that I've received. There really aren't any other support groups out there for bankruptcy and my situation.

[Genenco]

Buying a 20 ounce soda 2-3/day... $1.19 each, OUCH! 5 work days, about $15/week!
Buying fast food each day at work... $5-6 each, $25/wk!
Fast food for dinner 2-3/week... $20 each, $40-60/wk!

Now, I buy drinks in a 6 pack at the grocery store, 2 six packs each week: save $8/week.
No fast food, take leftovers or bread, cheese, etc. to make sandwiches for lunch: save $20/week
Fast food every now and then, do more cooking at home & groceries cost less than fast food, save ~$20-30/week.

Staci, no matter how many times it is covered..Once more won't hurt!

Sure in some places, it's a bit more understandable for some things. BUt like you, I make my lunches from past dinners (One day, I have to get a seal-a-meal) I always look for bargains on what I plan to buy, not what I think I'd like...

Christmas will be small..Sorry folks, I'm under the gun here..I love you dearly, but material items will be in short supply this year.

I recall living in another state, cooking only for self...$60-$100 would feed me for a....MONTH!!! Yes, rice, beans and chicken (Company coughed up turkey for Thanksgiving and Christmas) and drink? Water, water, water..Rare was the time to bring in bought food.

Gas was $0.98 a gallon...Ohhhh, I long for those days, good credit, little used and less then 10 years ago too....

[StaciMM]

JayGZ-
Is there anyone you can talk to, to help with the stress, etc? Perhaps a church or something similar. Your feelings are normal, unfortunately, I don't really have any tips to help you deal with them.

Try to remember this: Your daughter is what matters, not the creditors. They are NOT going to lose any sleep over you, they won't even blink. Also, how you handle your finances from this point forward is a business process, not personal. (If you concentrate on that, it might help things to sink in a bit where they don't press down on you so much.)

[JayGZ]

Staci, you are right.
I have a few friends but that's about it.

The creditors aren't taking this personally, you are correct. Just me.
I just need to relax and work through all of these issues as best I can.
It just seems like there is so much to know.

And one minute I think chapter 13 is the answer and I feel relieved and the next minute I think it's a death sentence that will ultimately lead to chapter 7.

I guess my concern is that when I'm building out an estimate of my expenses to determine my monthly payment in chapter 13, should I be right on track with my conservative spending efforts? That seems wrong if someone else is spending excessively and actually makes themselves fit into a chapter 7 by having little to no discretionary income left over. I know some expenses are simply based on IRS calculations but I don't know which ones or where to get that information.

[AAAArt]

Jay, I don't know why you keep talking about a chap 13? Do you feel like there is less disgrace in a 13 vs a 7? Both are a "right" according to the law.
Stop trying to beat yourself over the head (Your ex will be glad to do that for you anytime).
Start feeling guilty. Start living normally. File Chap. 7! Get your fresh start in many ways, Art

[JayGZ]

AAArt.

I suppose I'm just basically scared.
I have anxiety when trying to sleep.
Chap. 7 is very likely for me. And I would prefer to have all my debt discharged then be on a 5 year repayment plan.

I am just desperate to get all the facts and know exactly what to expect and what my options include.

I would love chapter 7 over chapter 13. The chance to basically start over would probably bring tears to my eyes--it should, anyway.

I'm just hoping that by learning as much as I can that I will relieve the anxiety and fear of what I'm facing ahead of me.

[Lightning]

You will not qualify for a Chapter 7.

If you pay back your debts, you'll have that "fresh start", and you'll be able to look your daughter in the eye and tell her what a responsible grown-up her father is.

You desperately need to wake up. You make way too much money and have such a relatively small amount of debt to qualify for a Chapter 7. The current laws assume fraud until proven otherwise. No trustee is going to fall for your "woe is me" attitude with a $75,000 a year income with one dependent.

It's people like you that led to serious bankruptcy reform.

[StaciMM]

To figure out where you stand compared to IRS standards, here are the references:

Median Income-

http://www.usdoj.gov/ust/eo/bapcpa/bci_data/median_income_table.htm

Living Expenses (Does not include utilities, rent, or vehicle/transportation)-

http://www.usdoj.gov/ust/eo/bapcpa/bci_data/national_expense_standards.htm

Rent/Utilities/Transportation

http://www.usdoj.gov/ust/eo/bapcpa/meanstesting.htm

**Go to the middle of the page, section 2. a. & select your state for rent/mortgage and utilities. Section 2. b. and select your region for transportation expenses.

I would think you could argue for phone to fall into utilities, but cable/dsl/cell phones, etc. would probably go into 'miscellaneous', along with entertainment. Medical expenses, insurance, student loans count as actual. *Vehicle maintenance probably falls under vehicle expense, though I'm not sure!

[coma]

To figure out where you stand compared to IRS standards, here are the references:

Median Income-

http://www.usdoj.gov/ust/eo/bapcpa/bci_data/median_income_table.htm

Living Expenses (Does not include utilities, rent, or vehicle/transportation)-

http://www.usdoj.gov/ust/eo/bapcpa/bci_data/national_expense_standards.htm

Rent/Utilities/Transportation

http://www.usdoj.gov/ust/eo/bapcpa/meanstesting.htm

**Go to the middle of the page, section 2. a. & select your state for rent/mortgage and utilities. Section 2. b. and select your region for transportation expenses.

I would think you could argue for phone to fall into utilities, but cable/dsl/cell phones, etc. would probably go into 'miscellaneous', along with entertainment. Medical expenses, insurance, student loans count as actual. *Vehicle maintenance probably falls under vehicle expense, though I'm not sure!

I am sorry to Hijack, but thanks Staci!! I needed that! My expenses are under those numbers and completely reasonable by that...that UST is picking on me b/c I don't have counsel...well, I will...thanks again!

[StaciMM]

My guess is the #'s will be adjusted once the new year rolls around. Of course, that doesn't mean that it will be done on 1/1! My personal theory is that filing in January for anyone close on the #'s would be better off waiting a month or 2.