Can I get a pep talk?

[JEM]

It's just been one of those weekends. Friday, Amex called FIL about hubby's account. They said they didn't have a contact for us, which is untrue.

Today, got a UPS 2 day letter from Citi for hubby's account, offering a SETTLEMENT after only 60 days late. Now I'm a little panicked that they are going to sue, soon. Sooner than we wanted to file. We'd ideally like to hold out at least 3 more months.

I'm just having a moment where I feel like everyone out there "knows". Knows that we're late with our creditors. Like any minute someone is going to knock on the door looking for us. (I know...it's silly and likely would never happen, but I jumped when the UPS guy rang the bell...)

I was resolved that I was going to answer the phone today and use the speech that one of the attorney's I interviewed told me to say.

"Yes, we're aware of the situation (being late) and we're working on it" ...and that's it.

Then I chickened out....and haven't answered the phone.

I just need to feel in control again...the last few days just shook me up.

[forgotten]

Today, got a UPS 2 day letter from Citi for hubby's account, offering a SETTLEMENT after only 60 days late. Now I'm a little panicked that they are going to sue, soon. Sooner than we wanted to file. We'd ideally like to hold out at least 3 more months.

Don't let that worry you... you will likely get another settlement/offer letter in a month or so, then be passed over to collections who will send you a letter and you have 30 days to to dispute the debt, then they will try and collect for a few months, etc....

It is very very very very unlikey you will get sued in the next 3 months.

[tightgrip]

I am there with you! I have fallen behind on my truck payment by 45 days and everytime I hear something outside my house I think its the repo guy! Even though I have been in contact with the CU and have let them know I will be making a payment I hate this feeling!!! We have our first consultation this evening with the attorney. I have been soo sick to my stomach about everything I can't hold anything down. I agree I want to be in control also!! Good Luck and I hope everything works out for you!!

[frogger]

At 60 days late on a cc, don't feel special.......

There are many others running much later than you that haven't got sued yet, so you're probably not going to get it either for quiet some tome later.

Just remember, they can't eat you, and they're not coming to whip you. Keep a roof over your head and food on the table. It's going to be ok.......

[JEM]

At 60 days late on a cc, don't feel special.......

There are many others running much later than you that haven't got sued yet, so you're probably not going to get it either for quiet some tome later.

Just remember, they can't eat you, and they're not coming to whip you. Keep a roof over your head and food on the table. It's going to be ok.......

Ok...that made me laugh out loud.

I needed that!

[jlybean]

I know how you feel. We are about 4-5 months behind on all our credit cards and I am so worried about getting sued I am sometimes afraid to open the mail or answer the door! We can't file for at least another 2-3 months so I am trying to calm down otherwise I might be bald by then I have been brave an answered the phone and the creditors that I have talked to have actually been very nice when I give them my lawyers name and number but nothing else. I am not sure if this will prompt them to work faster to sue or not but it has sure lessened the calls so now I don't panic every time the phone rings. I am reassured by the fact that most people on the board haven't been sued until at least 6 months or longer.

Just relax it will all be over soon and then you can breathe again (I know easier said than done)

[nerves]

JEM - I know how you feel. Everytime I seen a sheriff or state patrol man at work - my heart sank thinking they were coming to serve me papers in front of everyone. Some of the ladies at work have husbands in this field and I knew it but I always thought they were coming to serve me some notice or lawsuit, etc. I was only about 30-60 days late when I filed but it was just the "nerves" of it all.

No one is going to strip you and hang you from the flag pole for the whole world to see. At times you are going to feel exposed but it will all go away after you have filed and the big D Day comes.

Hang in there!

[Overmihead]

Hang in there, JEM! I understand about the control thing. Good to know they won't eat us, eh?
Have you retained an attorney yet, or are you still interviewing? Once you retain one, he/she will probably put your fears to rest, based on what I've read here, anyway. I just scheduled our 1st consult for next week...and I'm nervous about that, which I know is silly. Just the thought of putting all of our financial "laundry" out there for someone to judge.
Take comfort in the stories here. I don't think I've read a single story here of something major happening on such a short timeline.

[LizardTail]

This thread was reassuring to me. I'm feeling all the same (horrible) anxieties as described. Thanks all !!!

[JEM]

Hang in there, JEM! I understand about the control thing. Good to know they won't eat us, eh?
Have you retained an attorney yet, or are you still interviewing? Once you retain one, he/she will probably put your fears to rest, based on what I've read here, anyway. I just scheduled our 1st consult for next week...and I'm nervous about that, which I know is silly. Just the thought of putting all of our financial "laundry" out there for someone to judge.
Take comfort in the stories here. I don't think I've read a single story here of something major happening on such a short timeline.

Still interviewing. I've been to two consults so far. I have another that I'm going to call tomorrow and set up another. While I liked the two I've been to, I don't know that I liked them enough to pay their fees. ($2800 and $2400. My gut says that is high for our area, but if the 3rd one comes in the same, maybe I'm wrong and it's the norm)

I know what you mean about laying your financial laundry out...I felt the same before both consults.

[tkharvey]

Don't worry. (Easier said than done, I know.) We stopped paying CC's last January, we didn't file until October....nearly ten months later. No lawsuits or judgements and we owed ALOT to creditors (well over 100K). Try to relax. You will feel so much better after you file. The relief is unbelievable.

[debtsucks]

This is sort of a relief for me too. We were suppose to file at the end of this month, but we decided to push it back to about May/June. We are 90 days late with our CC. I just got my first collection letter for a Target Visa that is over 5,000. I am waiting until the last possible day to send out a letter of dispute to them. It is nerve wrecking. I have lost sleep over getting sued, my husband is so at ease about it. I wish I could be more like that, but I'm not. Try to hang in there. I too am nervous as heck everytime there is someone at the door, or I get the mail. This whole thing has made me rethink our bk process, but in the end it will all work out.