Why is it so hard to work your way out of debt?!

[contemplate]

Argh! Why is it so hard to do the right thing? We gradually accrued cr. card debt when we were young without really understanding the harm. We started with nothing (had to pay for our own wedding etc.) We really didn't live extravagantly. I stayed home w/ our kids while they were little & we built a house (not that big.) One day we realized we had too much cr. card debt. Then for the past 8 years, we have been trying like h-e-double hockey sticks to climb out. I went back to school to get a degree (graduated w/ distinction - not easy w/ 2 little ones) so I could get paid more. Hubby has alternated between working overtime (when available) and two jobs for the last 8 years. Yet everytime we have turned around, another unpleasant surprise has been thrown at us. Credit cards raising interest rates for no reason, Hubby's job banning overtime, cutting benefits & freezing salaries. Housing market tanking. Equity gone. I find out I will RIF-ed (let go due to declining student enrollment.) Now another overtime oppourtunity for hubby drying up. ARRRRGGHHH! We have made it soooo long. Should we really just lie down & give up? Can we ever beat this thing? I wish I had a crystal ball. We would like to avoid filing, but... if I could just see into the future. If we are eventually going to be beaten by another unpleasant surprise & forced to file in the future... Well I'd rather just get it started now! I do not want to receive a spanking; I'll do what I can to get out of it. But if I can't get out of it, then I'd rather take my spanking now. Thank you!

[logansdad]

BK is not lying down for a beating, it is something available when things like this occur. Do your kiddos a favor get over the stigma of BK and go meet with an attorney. You will be done in no time.

[catleg]

Cut the cord, live debt free. They hate that.

[frogger]

Cut the cord, live debt free. They hate that.

That's the best thing that we can do to restore America to what it should be.

[LimpDisc]

I worked a PT job for 2-3 years hoping to be debt free. What a complete waste of time! We had a couple of friends file BK and they shared their story with us. About 2 months later we started our BK planning. Now we are only 7 weeks from discharge.

Filing BK will be the fastest way to put this behind you.

[Michigan1951]

Stand up straight, and dive in...........the water is warm, soothing, and you will surface after the plunge to a new start. You already know that bk is the answer. Pride is not the answer now. Do it for your kids if anybody. If you still aren't sure, do more research here..............this is the best place for bk info.

[francis]

go for the bk.i dont think that youll be sorry.its the greatest chance to start over.when youve struggled for so long.its so liberating not to have bills continuously dragging you down.just watch those credit cards.after going through bk i dont care if i ever see another credit card.they are just not worth it anymore.they need us more than we need them!

[firstround]

We felt the same way you did, we were just hanging on and we never were late on any payments. We have a mortgage 70k in cc debt own a car making payments on a truck and motorcycle. Forgot to mention we have a 2nd. We were just plugging on making the min payments. Somehow wishing it would all go away but it did not. Then all of a sudden we got a cc statement that raised the int rate from 7.9% to 29%. That same day I made an appt to meet with an attorney because I knew they were coming to bust my door down with raising rates. We were wreaks just because of the unknowns. We have now been confirmed for 5 months and total of 9 months since filing. We have never slept so good in so many years. We have just started and we still have a long road ahead but we now see some light ahead. Up to this point it was not a walk in the park but worth every step. Best thing we every did!!!!!!!!! Chap 13

[tightgrip]

I am there with you. The hardest thing that hit me one day is when my 7 year old said "Jeeze Mom we are poor". That struck me right in the heart. And that was only over an ice cream from the ice cream truck. But dealing with all this emotion from bills the day he asked for a dollar and I told him I didnt have any change on me and he said that, that is when I told my husband it is time we did something. Not only to loosen the load from us fighting and stressing but for our kids sake! Its hard to live paycheck to paycheck and worry that you may need diapers or gas or food and you just might not have that money in the bank till payday. Thats because I as soo scared of falling behind on everything especially when we got into a DMP about 6 months ago pretty much dropping our interest rates down to 6% on about 8 cards but still that payment was high with all our other debt along with it student loans increasing their payments 2 car loans a trailer loan a utv loan it all became too overwhelming for us and its our fault for making poor financial decisions and yes both of us feel like failures but its time to take back our life and learn from our mistakes! We retainned our attorney on Monday and plan to file in the next 4-5 months. We quit paying everything and that was the hardest, and now that the time is going by with no payments we are going to have to deal with three items being reposessed and its still very overwhelming for me. But I know as the months go on and we get closer to filing we have a better future ahead of us for our marriage and our 3 children!

[MSbklawyer]

These kinds of stories are what make my blood boil when I hear these credit card companies and politicians complaining that people are taking undue advantage of bankruptcy laws and simply walking away from debt they could afford to pay.

Everytime I interview a potential bankruptcy client I hear the same things that have been said here. Nearly every potential client tells me a dozen times how grieved they are to have to file bankruptcy. Nearly every one of them has tried some kind of consolidation / credit counseling / settlement offers &c. Often times it is hard for me to get the information that I need out of them to prepare their schedules because they want to go on and on about how they've tried every conceivable thing to avoid bankruptcy but just couldn't manage to get caught up. This is especially true when people have gotten into debt involuntarily due to a medical emergency or some other catasrophe.

But to the OP, the reason it is so hard to get out of debt is because your creditors don't want you out of debt. They've got you on a treadmill where for every three steps you take forward toward paying off your debts, they move you two steps back in interest / penalties / late fees / early payoff fees / miscellaneous fees / just cause we feel like it fees .

The best advice I could give anyone once bankruptcy has gotten you out of debt is to STAY out of debt. Don't ever borrow money for anything again except a house and even then, don't take on payments (including taxes and insurance) of more than about a 25 percent of your bring-home pay.

Sometimes bankruptcy does make it a little to easy to shed debt though and people end up right back in the same credit card trap that they just got out of because it was a bit too painless for them to get out of it the first time.

[BassBoy]

These kinds of stories are what make my blood boil when I hear these credit card companies and politicians complaining that people are taking undue advantage of bankruptcy laws and simply walking away from debt they could afford to pay.

Everytime I interview a potential bankruptcy client I hear the same things that have been said here. Nearly every potential client tells me a dozen times how grieved they are to have to file bankruptcy. Nearly every one of them has tried some kind of consolidation / credit counseling / settlement offers &c. Often times it is hard for me to get the information that I need out of them to prepare their schedules because they want to go on and on about how they've tried every conceivable thing to avoid bankruptcy but just couldn't manage to get caught up. This is especially true when people have gotten into debt involuntarily due to a medical emergency or some other catasrophe.

Thanks for sharing this MSbklawyer. Knowing there is someone here who has first hand knowledge and experience of what debtors do in order to prevent themselves from filing BK should help our newbies feel that BK does not mean we're all deadbeats and just looking to beat the system.

My wife and I felt the same as you describe when he had no choice but to file. We were so embarrassed to have to speak with an attorney about this. I felt like I might be probe in every orafice of myself and be looked at with uncertainty and as if we were lying. Boy were we wrong. I left the attorneys office with the amazing amount of weight off my shoulders.....something I hadn't felt in a long time (we battled for 2 years to stay afloat).

But anyway, thanks again for sharing your experiences.

[DeadManCrawling]

I had three years before filing, once we made the decision.

I spent those years learning as much as I could about BK, laws, economic, and credit.

MSBKLawyer is exactly right. If everyone got out of debt, most of our creditors would fail. If everyone filed BK who needed to, simultaneously, they would also fail. It is in THEIR best interest, in terms of profits, to keep you indebted for life.

They do a good job of it.

Here in FL, like many other areas, banks had a policy to handle overdrafts in such a way to maximize profits. Let's say you wrote a few checks totaling 100 dollars. The bank would deposit the larger check first, so that instead of having ONE overdraft, they could nail you with five, from the smaller checks.

Perfectly legal. I believe it has either stopped or is to stop soon, with a new law, in Florida. I do not know if it applies nationwide.

A friend of mine had this happen and she ended up with 400 dollars in overdrafts on checks totaling less than 80 bucks. All because the bank was permitted to put the checks through in whatever order benefits THEM, not according to what order they were actually written, or the order that would have helped my friend.

[ForumReader]

"A friend of mine had this happen and she ended up with 400 dollars in overdrafts on checks totaling less than 80 bucks. All because the bank was permitted to put the checks through in whatever order benefits THEM, not according to what order they were actually written, or the order that would have helped my friend."

My SO (significant other) works for a bank and is appalled by how the bank handles the checks, slaps exorbant overdraft fees exactly what you have described. Therefore, my SO is planning to leave the bank and look for jobs elsewhere, hate to see account holders having to pay hundreds of endless fees over some checks being bounced (no matter how small the amount are from these checks) because of what legal measures bank are allowed to do. Although it is the responsibility of account holders to keep their checking accounts in balance and avoid overdraft fees, but still, these banks they do that