HELP - Support Groups?

[ednasouth]

Does anyone know of a good on-line support group, recovery group, etc. for people that are in the process of filing BR, just filed, or they are dealing with life after BR. This forum has helped some, but seems more geared to the technical/detail aspects of filing. I recently filed Ch. 13 (Jan. 2010) and have my 341 meeting in two weeks. This seems to be the most difficult thing I've ever had to face. Even worst than losing both of my parents in their old ages. I've never been in any legal trouble, have always had good jobs, good credit, just too much of it and it caught up with me as I'm sure it has with most of you. I'm married, two children ages 8 and 10, have a good job, filed alone so my wife still has credit if needed, keeping my home, truck, etc. I think I even have a decent disposable income to live on. It is just a matter of budgeting which I've never done before. People think we have the perfect life, but I feel so ashamed and get anxiety when thinking about living on a budget and it is really starting to get to me. I think a good on-line recovery forum would be a great help, but I can't seem to find one. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

[HakunaMatata]

I'm not familiar with any online BK support group that focuses exclusively on the embedded emotional aspects many experience. While the BK Forum offers technical advice, it also serves as a resource for addressing and overcoming emotion, stigma, shame, guilt, anxiety, fear, etc.

I was discharged from C7 last month. As I pondered my overall experience, I reread some of my initial posts. Many contained moral, fear, and emotional elements. The posters offered incredible advice, support, and guidance. As I gained understanding of the BK process, the emotional aspects ebbed and my questions became more business oriented. I suspect this occurs with many new posters. BK is new to many of us. This alone can trigger emotional discomfort.

Reading, for me, demonstrated I was far from alone in this process. If you read through posts here, you will likely discover the same. Many of us are at different stages in the process which lays foundations for shared experience, shared learning, and shared growth.

You have many accomplishments behind you. BK doesn't change this. You have successes in your future; and, BK may aid in facilitating these.

Hang in there!

[ednasouth]

Thank you HakunaMatata so much for the words of encouragement. When reading these post I do start to feel some what better. I read about others in situations far worst than mine and I'm thankful for where I am with mine. I'll keep plugging along here and hopefully it will all start to come together. I also see people just starting the process and want to offer them some advice or things I've learned along the way. PS. HM is one of my favorite songs from the Lion King. Thanks again and Carpe Diem!

[sofarsogood2]

Ednasouth- I think almost all of us here started out feeling the way you do. Many of us had great credit, great jobs, and all the trappings that come with it. I was ashamed, scared, worried to death. The more you read here, the better you will feel, and the knowledge gained gives you back a sense of control and a feeling of being prepared.

The 341 is normally quick and relatively painless. Don't worry- be honest and all will go well.

I think the most difficult decision is the one you have already made- to file and give yourself a fresh start.

We had a great attorney who answered all my "new" questions as we proceeded. Keep communicating with your attorney. I know I was probably a pain in the a$$ to her, but she was patient.

Emotionally, I think this board helped me a lot. Although I didn't formally join until recently, I had been "lurking" for some time, and it helped to know I wasn't alone.

Most everyone here is very supportive and those with experience and circumstances that are similar to yours will do their best to help out.

There are some threads about budgeting ideas- check around for them.

Not long ago, I was you. We are now recently discharged and debt free! What a feeling!!

You're on your way! Best of luck!

[beachchick]

Just read a good book that addresses the emotional impact of bankruptcy, called Bankruptcy, How To Survive and Prosper by Leighann Ryan, available on Amazon.com. The author does a good job of conveying the emotional and psychological toll that bk extracted but goes on to say that it was most beneficial for her and has actually sruvived it in a better place and gives hope that anyone can not only survive but also prosper with a bk, it helped me put things in proper perspective. The issue of morality is discussed, author says that the issue of morality of bk should actually be a non-issue, made me feel much better. Talks a lot about her experiences with debt collectors, debt settlelment, debt management, etc.

[ednasouth]

Thanks Beachchick! I'm getting ready to check Amazon in a few. From what I've read in your post I'll probably be ordering it. Sounds just like what I've been looking for. BIG THANKS!

[beachchick]

Glad to be of help Ednasouth, we need to stick together.

[beachchick]

Good luck at your 341 Ednasouth and please do not worry about it, I spent many wasted hours worrying about mine, all for nothing, if was less intimidating than getting a tooth filled.

[hopefullori]

Ednasouth - this board has literally saved my sanity through this entire process. I, like you wasted many sleepness nights worrying about my 341 - I ended up representing myself, since my lawyer was detained at a 13 hearing! I found strength I did not know I even had!

While you are on this journey, you have all of us to vent, cry, and rejoice with - that's the benefit of this community - we have all been there.

Take care and stay with us --