Would taking a lower paying position affect your filing

[ssmdem]

I'm absolutely at my wit's end with all of this. I am an independent contractor whose employer recently let me go and went with a service instead - with which I got hired by them - but doing same job for literally HALF what I was making before -- middle man gets what I was getting before. It's long hours - late nights until about 2:00 a.m. and still have to get up and get kids to school at 6:00. I HATE this job, but especially hate it even more now that I'm not making what I was. And I'm exhausted CONSTANTLY - health continues to suffer, etc.

My husband does have a good steady job, but he is gone, out of town gone, about 60-80 hours a week. We're both killing ourselves to try to make ends meet, and in the meantime, life is passing us by and our kids are growing up so fast. He misses so much of their lives, and it kills him. I'm here but so stressed out with work and our financial situation that I'm not being the mom to them that they deserve.

We've got to get out of this mess somehow, and I desperately want to be able to do a chap7 and just move on but so scared we won't qualify. If he voluntarily takes a lower paying position at his company that will put him home more, we can probably do it. If I quit my job, I KNOW we can. We're considering this LONG TERM. We're tired of working ourselves to death and just barely getting by - honestly just getting in deeper and deeper. I'm tired of my kids missing out on their parents' attention.

Would we be scrutinzed for this? I honestly just want a fresh start all the way around -- peace and relief from all of this debt, TIME to enjoy my kids and be a parent to them. We've even talked about just leaving this area as well and seriously starting all over (although the kids aren't thrilled with this - so probably not).

[needachance]

If there is one thing I have learned from our experience, if you are in that deep, don't let pride get in the way of making this decision. We should have filed 8 years ago. Instead, we basically missed 8 years of our kids lives working 24/7 trying desparately to keep up on bills from credit cards, cover living expenses and not ruin our credit score. Now after 8 years we still had to file and we have nothing to show for it. And our kids have grown up in the process. I have sat and cried when I think that I missed literally years of their lives. When this all started and my husband got laid off and I had to start working, my kids were 4 and 2. Now they are 10 and 12 and I feel like I missed the biggest part of that with being stressed out and working all the time. That is an awful feeling you don't want.

[ssmdem]

If there is one thing I have learned from our experience, if you are in that deep, don't let pride get in the way of making this decision. We should have filed 8 years ago. Instead, we basically missed 8 years of our kids lives working 24/7 trying desparately to keep up on bills from credit cards, cover living expenses and not ruin our credit score. Now after 8 years we still had to file and we have nothing to show for it. And our kids have grown up in the process. I have sat and cried when I think that I missed literally years of their lives. When this all started and my husband got laid off and I had to start working, my kids were 4 and 2. Now they are 10 and 12 and I feel like I missed the biggest part of that with being stressed out and working all the time. That is an awful feeling you don't want.

I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm WAY beyond the point where pride is affecting any of my decisions right now!! I just want out of this mess! I'm just concerned that a trustee is going to want to know WHY we made the job change decisions we made and somehow disqualify us. We've been struggling for six years - it has only gotten REALLY bad in the last three. My kids are 9 and 12 -- I just don't want to do this to them anymore!

[jdcat]

ssmdem I think with the hours that you work and if you really have some heath issues then you'd be fine leaving your job. Stress and lack of sleep are valid reasons to leave a job. Just make sure you can afford to live on one paycheck.

I left my job in November. I've got some ongoing health issues that began in July and by October were really starting to get to me. I had a job and was doing my best to ignore my health issues because we couldn't afford for me to quit. But then hubby and I sat down and looked at our financial situation and realized that we were never going to get out of the hole that we were in. I began my research into bk and soon realized that we'd have to much DMI on schedule J if I kept working and we quit paying on our cards, so I quit. This gave me the opportunity to take take care of my health issues, had all of my testing done and am now on medication, and also solved the problem of to much DMI.

Quitting my job was not only a smart financial move but also a necessity for health reasons. I think you fall into the same situation. Take care of your health first and foremost and if quitting your job helps out with the bk as well then all the better.

[needachance]

I don't know the legal ramifications of a job change, but if it were done 6 months or so before filing (and you quit making payments at that time) then I don't think it would raise eyebrows too much. If you did it 2 weeks before filing maybe. We have not had any legal action taken in 9 months of nonpayment of credit cards so you have some time.

[SMinGA]

As long as you're not trying to do some sort of deferred payment arrangement - you should not have a problem if your husband changes position or you stop working/work less.

Deferred payment would be shady, something like working now and arranging for your employer to pay you in 6 months for it so your current income looks less than it is.

I'm not saying that is what you're up to - just trying to show the difference between that (which would be bad) and what you are suggesting.

[ssmdem]

As long as you're not trying to do some sort of deferred payment arrangement - you should not have a problem if your husband changes position or you stop working/work less.

Deferred payment would be shady, something like working now and arranging for your employer to pay you in 6 months for it so your current income looks less than it is.

I'm not saying that is what you're up to - just trying to show the difference between that (which would be bad) and what you are suggesting.

No, that's not it - I see where you're coming from, but this is different. He'd be with the same company - just not working on the road anymore but working here locally. It's something we've DREAMED of him doing for years but could never afford the cut in pay and still pay our bills. It will still take a lifestyle change on our part to make it if he does this, but I'm ready for SIMPLE. If the credit cards and monster house payment are gone, we can finally afford for him to do it. We still won't be filing for at least 4-6 months, and we are still not behind on any payments right now, but it's inevitable -- one card is maxed, the other is close - but I've cut them up this month, and we're living on what comes in on each payday. Now that we've started paying cash for groceries and gas, there's not going to be anything left to pay the credit cards next month. The day he takes the job cut, there won't be enough to pay the mortgage.

I keep telling myself that WE have to change something if we want to see a change - it's just scary.

[SMinGA]

Sounds like this is a good change for your family - in multiple ways. Your expenses will change with the lifestyle change, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. And perhaps if he is home more often you can find a p/t job during reasonable hours (maybe when the kids are in school?) that you don't hate! Though I agree with the sentiment of others who responded that it would be good to take care of you/your health and peace of mind first.