Things are starting to get real...

[Diesel73L]

So my wife called me just now crying because our backs are now really against the wall. We've been juggling flaming chainsaws on a treadmill over a pit of alligators for quite a while now and we're about to slip. She just paid all of January's bills (utilities, credit cards, student loans, and the truck payment) and can now see that we have no way to pay February's mortgage in full by the due date. Neither of us had the nerve to stop paying on our cards up until now, but knowing what I know now about secured vs. unsecured debt, etc...I'll be damned if I miss a mortgage payment in order to keep up with credit card minimums. On the bright side maybe we'll be able to file sooner. I think what scares us most is the harassment calls at work, to family, friends, neighbors, etc... (yes I know they're not allowed to but show me one debt collector that those toothless laws have stopped) along with the possibility of garnished wages before we can file. Here goes nothing...

[Freddy03]

When do you plan on filing?

If it's within 3-4 months STOP paying credit cards now. They don't start harassing family and friends right away. If you answer the phone and tell them you are having difficultly paying they won't call other places. You also have plenty of time before you are sued and judgments are issued.

Good Luck!

[keepsmiling]

Wow diesel that was VIVID!
It took a day like that to convince us to stop paying as well. We had to raid my ds's birthday money to pay and it hit us like a ton of bricks.

Get Google Voice right now. Change all numbers online everywhere. Print all statements you might need while you still have access.

Good luck.

[angles]

I remember the day my wife said the same thing. It was our first step down this path and many sleepless nights. But once you realize your situation and take action, it only gets better for you and your family.

[Drazil65]

Hi I remember the panic setting in also. Just try to get into the mindset of "this is a business decision, the business of "YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, Inc.". Think like a business, this is a strategy that is used every single day in the business world. This way of thinking will actually help you see things from a non-emotional point of view and put things in order. Practice thinking like this, be proactive and research, read and then research some more. You will actually feel the control seeping back into your life little by little.

Also, do yourself a favor and do a google search for "Google Voice", read everything about it then set it up, it will be your best friend through this process. Just be sure to identify yourself very clearly on the outgoing message and all those creditors will not have any reason to call anywhere else. You will have all the voice messages in one nice neat place on your computer and you can listen or read them if you like or just store them. This one thing was the thing that made the whole process tolerable until filing, its awesome. Get your Google Voice number, link it to your home phone and any other phone you need it linked to, call all your creditor to "update" your information and change your number to the google voice number. Good luck!

[shark66]

Growing a thicker skin is a bare necessity in the pre-filing stage of the BK game.

Yes, the creditors might start calling you at work. Identify yourself and tell them that you can't take personal calls at work and then immediately hang up.

Yes, they might call your neighbors. Do you *really* care?

Send everyone on the "list" a cease and desist letter, by certified mail, three months from now.

Google Voice is another great suggestion. Use the technology wisely.

You have several months to go. Priority here is the long-term well-being of your family, that will come from filing BK. Keep repeating that mantra to yourself 24/7 and you'll be fine.

By the time any of them actually get to the point of filing a lawsuit, you'll be sailing the safe waters of BK stay...

Good luck to us all.

[Diesel73L]

Growing a thicker skin is a bare necessity in the pre-filing stage of the BK game.

Yes, the creditors might start calling you at work. Identify yourself and tell them that you can't take personal calls at work and then immediately hang up.

Yes, they might call your neighbors. Do you *really* care?

Send everyone on the "list" a cease and desist letter, by certified mail, three months from now.

Google Voice is another great suggestion. Use the technology wisely.

You have several months to go. Priority here is the long-term well-being of your family, that will come from filing BK. Keep repeating that mantra to yourself 24/7 and you'll be fine.

By the time any of them actually get to the point of filing a lawsuit, you'll be sailing the safe waters of BK stay...

Good luck to us all.

All good suggestions-thanks. I just finished "updating my contact information" with all creditors and my wife will be doing the same-C&D letters are ready to go as well. I used to be scared of BK, the Trustee, people finding out, etc...but that was before my daughter was born. Now the only thing that scares me is not being able to provide a financially stable life for her. She is three months old-I am determined that before she is two we will be discharged and well on our way to financial stability.