4 months past discharge and close- a little encouragement

[rooster0330]

We filed Chapter 7 back in February, and were discharged and closed in May, I still lurk here a lot and wanted to just give a little encouragement.

2009/2010 was not kind to us at all. My husbands income was cut more than $60k that year, I am a stay-at-home mom. We stopped paying our credit cards in Fall 2009 we had over 100k in debt! We retained an attorney in February 2010. We trudged along until summer 2011, when our first summons came, Amex, for $1500.00 I worked out a payment plan with them.

Next summons came June, 2011, Chase/Wamu we owed them 7K, went back and forth with them with interragatories and worked out a payment plan with them.

I was scared to file for so many reasons, worried that my husbands business Amex would be cancelled, (he travels and uses it for business a lot), worried they would take his luxury car that was almost paid off and didn't think the federal exemptions would cover it, the stigma in my mind about who files bankruptcy, deadbeats, and the list goes on.

We filed in February 2012, and if I knew what a breeze it would be I would have filed back in 2010. Not one of the things that I convinced myself would happen, happened, they didn't take the car and they didn't cancel the amex to name a couple.

My husbands salary has increased more than I could have ever imagined. We are doing better now financially, then even before all this happened and we thought we were doing great! We are debt free except for our mortgage and a car loan, we received a auto loan in August, we had no choice, my lease was up on my car and we just bought it out. The payment went down drastically, and we received a great interest rate, considering we were only out of chapter 7, three months. We received a credit card with a 1,500 limit, that I have used for 2 months to put $20 worth of gas in my car and pay it off when the bill comes, only using it to build credit.

I am writing all this because, I see how many people are afraid to file and I was right there with you....But there is life after bankruptcy!

It does what its suppose to, provides a clean slate.

Just wanted to share my experience and let people know, all the emotions and worries they are feeling is ok, but its more in our minds then in reality!!!!

[TheBajan]

Thank you so much for an encouraging post! The 3 years prior to filing where a financial H*** for us. When we finally decided to file, we had all the pre-filing worries, doubt, guilt, and stress that I see all of us experiencing on this forum. Even though I'm in a chapt 13, after our plan was confirmed, I felt free for the first time in years. I can't wait till we have our little hamster dance!
Congrats to you and thanks again for the encouragement!

The Bajan

[Tater]

rooster,

Thanks for sharing your encouraging story. I know the guilty feelings, feelings of guilt and shame before we filed. We didn't wait as long as you did but it was still there. Luckily, we found this forum and the wonderful people who were both honest and encouraging. We should receive our discharge in a couple of weeks. We filed at the end of May, and life has been so much better since. I was unemployed for awhile, employed for a couple of months before the business went under, and now working at home the past few weeks. We actually live a cash lifestyle and have so much less stress and worry. We can rebuild our credit but we nearly lost our sanity from the debt mess we created. It's a hard lesson learned, but a life lesson.

[alo]

rooster, I am curious about your time line...as it may relate to my situation...so you stopped paying credit cards, saw an attorney a couple of months later and then didn't file right away but waited for judgements from the cc's to come in? Then you negotiated with a couple of cc's before eventually filing. Was this all as advised by your attorney? It seems like you could have saved the money you used to negotiate with the cc's and just filed. Was that due to your fear of losing the amex? Or was there other pre-planning done so that you could file Ch 7. Maybe I have the timeline mixed up. Thanks!

[rooster0330]

Alo

We stopped paying credit cards in the fall of 2009, we saw an attorney in February 2010 we gave him a retainer.

We started getting summons in April, 2011 and the next June 2011....by the time I pushed them off, I waited the 30 (?) days to file an answer then I sent them Interrogatories, then they sent them to me, and I had I think it was 30 days to answer and they had 30 days to answer, so I really bought ourselves another 3-4 months....

We settled with them and did pay them for a couple of months before we filed....Not too smart but it worked for us....and to be honest it only came out to be maybe $400-$500 total that we paid into the settlements.

We didn't file right away for so many reason, yes one being the amex....but mainly so many other things, I had all these irrational fear about filing. And the hardest thing I was trying to get over was that only deadbeats file for bankruptcy. There is such a stigma attached to it, that I had a hard time getting past it. We WERE an upper-middle class family, live in a nice neightborhood, drive nice cars etc....and it's just not something that people in our position did.

When my husbands salary plummeted like it did, I also had a hard time dealing with that. It's was huge for us to loose over 60K in one year was catastrophic. I still don't know how we got through it....

So, all that being said if I knew then what I know now, and worked though my "issues" sooner we would have filed sooner. It wasn't even a fraction of what I thought it was going to be, even the 341 I had myself all worked up for every worse case scenario, and of course NONE of that happened, we were in and out in 2 minutes.

So, that is why I wrote this post to being with, beside this forum being a life-saver, I see so many other people having the anxiety that I did, and I wanted them to know, it's ok, and it isn't nearly as bad as we think its going to be!

So I hope this helped answer your question a little bit...

But, I also wanted to add, that since we have filed, things have turned around completely, my husbands salary has rebounded, he has more huge projects coming in already for next year, its weird that after we filed EVERYTHING else improved we are getting our lives back finally.

One thing for sure, I will NEVER be put in this position again!

[kathy09]

We recently got our discharge and I feel the same way as you do that if I knew what a breeze it would be we would have filed sooner. We are so much better off now not having to stuggle to pay the bills.

[alo]

Thanks, rooster. And congratulations (to you and kathy09).
I appreciate the sharing. I am still so curious why your attorney had you wait so long (2/10 - 2/12).
Sorry to keep asking for details but was this so you had someone to turn to for advice while trying to avoid BK? While waiting for judgements and trying to settle with cc's?

Since we have stopped paying our cc's I am feeling like we need to push this BK through now and fast...not sure why I feel a sense of urgency...maybe just to be able to put it in the past. Some people seem to have a strategy for waiting. Or, maybe they are waiting for their situation to get better and then not file. Then I wonder if the damage (of not paying cc's) for so long is done! Ugh!! I'm over-thinking all of the scenarios and I know mine is different and can't be compared. Once I settle on an attorney and have a game plan (still in consultation phase) I'm hoping to feel more at ease.

All the best to you!

[rooster0330]

Alo----

Our attorney didn't have us wait...we did that on our own, for most of the reasons I stated in the above post. Looking back, we wouldn't have waited so long...But hind sight is 20/20... But, our attorney did call/email us periodically and ask when we were going to file, he had all the paperwork done, (he had to adjust somethings when we finally did file, because it was originally done so long ago), he knew what the delay was on our part, all me and my issues with filing.

I guess it hurt us more than if we filed in 2010, we would have been 2 years out of it versus, 5 months. But, like I stated above, we got approved for a car loan with a good rate, and received a cc with a 1.5k limit...so all in all it is what it is but I have checked our credit scores and to be honest I thought they were going to be MUCH worse. This whole bankruptcy thing is such a personal decision/struggle for everyone, but what helped me the most is when in my mind I was able to strictly look at it as a business decision...there was no way we were going to be able to pay over 100K in debt!