Please Help Me - About to Breakdown

[HopefulInOhio]

I'm in Ohio and my husband and I have been separated since August. Not legally, for it was a separation to figure things out. I am now prepared to file for dissolution, but I am flat broke. I have credit card debt of $18,000 that I am having a bad time keeping up with. My job has cut my hours down to hardly anything and my income is null and void some weeks. My husband pays our mortgage here and I pick up the slack on other household bills, and he gives me money on the side. I have resorted to credit cards over the years and I know that it's a major mistake..I am so mad at myself for getting in this hole.

I have cried all week trying to come up with a way out of this mess. I have no money to file for bankruptcy and I feel my husband will end up fighting me for our dissolution, for he doesn't want it. So, in between his stupidity, I am going broke and my credit score is all but shot to hell. I am only behind one credit card and the other 3 are up to date. But, for how long, I don't know.

These cards are in my name only. If I choose to file bankruptcy while I am now still married, is that possible? I don't even want to drag my husband in this, for I am fed up with him. Our house is in both of our names..would they somehow come after this house?

I am just frantic here..I have a 15 year old daughter to support and am trying to look for a job in between going to college full time. I am just ready to nearly have a nervous breakdown. The impending dissolution, college, a teenager, sick parents and sister...I feel if it wasn't for credit cards, I would be living on the streets. I have misused them dearly and if I could just get out of this, I'd never look at one again.

1..How are online bankruptcies done? And, the cost?

2..Can I do this by myself, even if still married?

3.. Anyone have any info about Ohio?

4..Do you need a lawyer if you do online bankruptcies?

And the main one...


To avoid bankruptcy..is there a debt reduction plan out there..I mean, a good, credited company that would help me? I have hardly any income right now until either I get a settlement from this house or a better job.


Please help if anyone can, for I don't know how much longer I can do this. I have no life, go nowhere and my daughter is suffering horribly. My soon to be ex does give us money and pays the mortgage...I am paying about $400 a month in credit card payments.


Please..if anyone knows anything for advice, I would thankfully appreciate it..I would prefer to not file, but if I have to, now's the time to do. I can't concentrate at school, my job search is almost down to nothing, and I am so depressed I can hardly get out of bed some days.

Thanks for listening.

[anonymuse]

I am so mad at myself for getting in this hole.

First, forgive yourself. (Easier said than done, I know from experience). We're all here because we made poor decisions and had some bad luck along the way. We're here to support each other. We'll laugh, and cry with you.

I have no money to file for bankruptcy and I feel my husband will end up fighting me for our dissolution, for he doesn't want it. So, in between his stupidity, I am going broke and my credit score is all but shot to hell. I am only behind one credit card and the other 3 are up to date. But, for how long, I don't know.

BK fees can be filed in installments; however, they still need to be paid before your case is heard. Ask for relief on your pre-BK creditor course--my lawyer says everyone should ask for it. First, worry about the BK; don't even bother with thinking about your credit score--that's not a priority right now.

1..How are online bankruptcies done? And, the cost?

"Online" BKs are generally petition prepares without legal counsel. IMO, avoid them.

2..Can I do this by myself, even if still married?

You can file separate from your husband.

3.. Anyone have any info about Ohio?

Not sure which part of Ohio you live in:
Northern: http://www.ohnb.uscourts.gov/
Southern: http://www.ohsb.uscourts.gov/


4..Do you need a lawyer if you do online bankruptcies?

You can file on your own; however, it is not recommended. Of the cases that are dismissed, 80% are from people that have filed on their own.

Do you research first--you've come to a good board that has great information. There are stickies at the top of the forum to get you started.

If you don't have as much computer access or just like reading an actual book, go to nolo.com. They have just released the updated version of filing Chapter 7 on your own.

Irregardless of whether you think you'll be filing on your own, you should have free consultations with at least three lawyers. Make a list of questions ahead of time and pick their brains.

And the main one...


To avoid bankruptcy..is there a debt reduction plan out there..I mean, a good, credited company that would help me? I have hardly any income right now until either I get a settlement from this house or a better job.

I think we all wish they were out there. I'm sure there are some decent ones, but you'll read story after story on here of using them with disastrous results.


I am paying about $400 a month in credit card payments.

It sounds like you do have some disposable income left.

There are basically two kinds of bankruptcy. Chapter 7 -- liquidation and Chapter 13 -- wage earner payment plan.

Go read the Tactical BK Manual in the stickie post.

Take the means test to see if you qualify.

Do you have any assets (car or house) you are trying to keep?

[bkbiker]

Hi hopefulinohio,

Sorry to hear of your troubles, life sure can be cruel sometimes,

I would suggest that you try and look at the bigger picture, and not just worry about debt, I now this is easer said than done.

Bankruptcy should only be considered as a last ditch effort to salvage your finances, chapter 13 is brutal and will last 3-5 years

Answers to some of your questions;

1. Your house will become part of any bankruptcy proceedings, if you sell or title your house away, you will have to explain why and where the assets are.

2. If you file bankruptcy by yourself, your creditor will most likely now go after your husband, any debts that you acquired during your marriage are probably joint responsible by both of you, even if the cards were only in your name.

3. Your bankruptcy would be very complex given your situation, owning a home, separated from husband, joint debts. You would almost certainly need a good lawyer.

4. Just having credit card debt is not the end of the world!! There is really very little the credit card companies can do if you can’t pay. It is not a crime to be in debt.
a. If they call you, you can write and demand that they do not contact any more,

b. They can attempt to sue you, but you have to be served first for a hearing, if you are good at dodging these attempts and wait out your statue of limitation for your state, they can no-longer legally collect this debt. Legal judgment and garnishment of wages can be a concern, but this is probably years away if at all, and there is only so much they can take anyway.

c. After not paying your credit card for a few month, and your credit score going down the tubes, most credit card Co.s will change there tone and offer you much better terms and maybe a reduction in your total bill. For me after 4 months and once I informed them I was going to file bankruptcy, it is amazing how friendly they became and offer up wonderful deals for me, offers like to settle for 25% -50% of the original debt.


5. Spend time with your daughter, and make the very best of your situation (remember things could always be worst) as more time passes maybe things will get better, new job, more money from house settlement, divorce, apply for financial aid for college FAFSA when your daughter is ready.

Good luck, let us know how you are doing,
bkbiker

[HopefulInOhio]

Anonymuse, I went to nolo.com and saw the do it yourself chapter 7..do you think that's a something to trust? Never heard of nolo or the company that produced the book.

Also, the only thing I have in my name other than credit cards are a 97 Ford Taurus, very little in a checking account and our house, which is in both our names. All this cc debt is in my name only.

So, if I file, they won't come after my husband or this house, will they? For I'm going to have him buy me out, but who knows how long that will be? He's dragging his feet on this and I just want out to get moving, but can't due to debts/school/trying to find a better paying job and struggling on the one I have.

Thanks!

[anonymuse]

Nolo is very well known for their self-help legal books. The book was recommended to me three times: twice at a pro se clinics and once by a paralegal. Go to Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Epinions and you can read reviews on previous versions such as: How to File for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy, Chapter 13 Bankruptcy: Repay Your Debts; The New Bankruptcy: Will It Work for You?. Read the online chapter at nolo.com. Go to the bookstore and browse through the book in full. For so much at stake for us, $25 is a small price to pay.

My book came in today (I can see it sticking out of mailbox as I type this). All I can relate is my experience with the books, it incorporates law and line-by-line instructions that you can't find anywhere else.

What I appreciate about Nolo, is that they didn't rush out to get the book out right with the new laws and make a quick buck. They wanted to see how the law flushed out before putting out a new book--that's why the new version didn't come out until this week and the Ch 13 isn't out yet.

You need to watch about preferential transfers. Go get a few consults from attornies--they're free. Don't say anything about filing on your own until the end of your consult and ask them the pros and cons of doing it on your own.

[queerguy]

***Deleted by HRx***

[13inOR]

OK-----that does it. Minny, where are you????????????

[Credit Hater]

Hopefully nobody is taking him serious on anything he says....q-guy will be banned and hopefully they will ban his ip address so he can't come back under different names.

[13inOR]

No, no one is going to take him serious and do something like that, but my concern is that its very offensive to those whose lives may have been touched by the tragedy of suicide. Its nothing to take lightly.
He just wants attention, and I think he prefers the negative kind.

[Credit Hater]

No, no one is going to take him serious and do something like that, but my concern is that its very offensive to those whose lives may have been touched by the tragedy of suicide. Its nothing to take lightly.
He just wants attention, and I think he prefers the negative kind.

Oh I couldn't read his post, he's on my ignore list. I could just see where he posted something and then I read your reaction to it. If he's making fun of someone down in the dumps and about to go over the edge, then that just further reinforces the fact he's lower than dirt and shouldn't be allowed here. I wish I was a mod, I would've banned him a long time ago.

[anonymuse]

QG, I didn't even think you would stoop that low.

[SinkingFast]

He's on my ignore list too, but there's a link on the right you can click to see what an ignored person said.

I read QG's response and I've reported him to the moderators.

It is totally inappropriate to suggest to another person they should give up on life and end it all.

Those types of comments are not appreciated here and I too hope that QG will be banned for life now!

[13inOR]

He actually started a pro-suicide post, and then gave a response to someone suggesting that they should take this route. I dont think there is anything he wouldnt stoop to if you ask me.

[queerguy]

just trying to offer objective advice, sorry to offend anyone. Just trying to help. How many people want me to leave the board for good, show of hands. If it is more than twenty, I will and never come back voluntary.

[13inOR]

Oh whatever.....that was anything BUT an offer of help.