A Financial Crisis has not changed anybody.

[6ftladycop]

I realize that being on a budget or saving money is not everyones strong point. I also know that when a family is having a financial crisis, there are those sometimes who act as if the financial crisis has nothing to do with them. They feel that if a person does need to budget or save then "thats their problem".

Now since I was not raised that way, I figured that any husband, wife, daughter, sister or anybody living in the household that knows what the family is going through should at least try and save their money along with everybody else.

Well, thats not happening. Ever since filing, not all but some parties in our big family have continued to spend as if there is no tomorrow knowing that we all combine our money during this crisis to get the OTHER bills paid. Why would people run up cell phone bills, shop for shoes or buy tires and other meaningless things like that during a time of crisis.....just venting you guys....just venting.

[Minnymouth]

Sometimes and maybe quite often a spouse or a sibling is "blinded" to the fact that you are declaring bankruptcy......

They don't understand or care about the process, how much you have to cut corners during the process etc. To them it's "your problem", I'm going to live my life a usual.....

Unfortunately this can be true in a lot of families these days..... families working against each other while one party is trying to solve the financial problems.

Sad but true.......

I would hate to be in that position and feel very sorry for anyone that is..... it would be terrible hard to try to file BK, make ends meet with others fighting you every step of the way....

[whatamess]

We dont live together or pull funds, but the day I filed my sister bought a $55,ooo benz. Cash. Brought it to show off too.
I just thought that was heartless.
She could have waited a few days to show off.
WAM

[Minnymouth]

Whatamess,
Unfortunately, your sister was JUST AS PROUD as you are JEALOUS over her getting a new vehicle.......

Its a hard pill to swallow when we are in financial stress, and others around us are living the good life so to speak...

She could have waited a few days, but would it have made any difference in how you felt. Probably not........

Just be thankful your sister is not in the same situation that you are right now... and hopefully, maybe, in the future you too will be financially secure.

My oldest brother "married money"...... brags about it all the time, calls my paycheck "pocket change"........

I laughed, told him he could have it all, CAUSE, ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD could not MAKE ME live with the woman he calls his wife...................lol

Everything in life has a "price" on it!!!!!

[Bandit]

They don't understand or care about the process, how much you have to cut corners during the process etc. To them it's "your problem", I'm going to live my life a usual.....

This is it. As individuals we simply do not know or understand what others are going through until we have been there ourselves. I can't expect everyone to stop their lives just because mine seems to have stopped.

[Bandit]

Why would people run up cell phone bills, shop for shoes or buy tires and other meaningless things like that during a time of crisis(

Maybe they could buy you a new pair of shoes and since they have new tires and you dont have the money right now for tires, ask them to drive you around to where you need to go. Then use their cell phone to make some calls...maybe they will take a hint then.

I am not saying to actually do all that, but it might be worth a try. I know it feels like they are rubbing it our faces, but maybe they are just doing what they always do and it seems like they do not care.

[Bandit]

OTH- there is definately a lack of love and concern in some families that makes me sick. Knowing now what I know that one of my cousins ruined my Grandmothers credit abusing her charge cards....tossed my Grandmother into a chapter 13 as she lost her home after 45 years, then my cousin skipped town.

In that respect, it has not changed anybody.

[whatamess]

Hi Minny,
To be honest I am not jelous..really. Im glad she is filthy rich. I dont have to worry about her. I just wish she had a heart to go with the money. She is in no way charitable or sypathetic. every holiday she shows off her new jewels and timeshares while others couldnt afford to even bring gifts. Its her money to spend, just I wish she would have some heart. When my other sister was nearly and thrown into foreclosure sued for medical bills regarding cancer she shrugged it off and went to Aruba. BTW If I had $55,000 cash to buy a car I'd buy a $30,000 or less car and be done. Status cars never were my thing. Id buy a hybrid!!
To me its like dangling a 6' hero sandwich in front of ahungry homeless man then walking away eating it. Just not nice!
Many people are not nice though.
WAM

[Minnymouth]

Yeah, I know what you mean, I'm not jealous of my Brother either, I'm tickled pink he can afford the nice things in life that he enjoys so much. But I hate it when he pokes fun at other people for driving a peice of junk, or the lifestyle they lead. He sure wasn't raised "rich"..... we were "middle class" in the 50's but would be considered poor by todays levels. But we had food, a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs.

Makes me remember - My brother told me once to save my quarters and he would pay for a trip to Las Vegas for me one time when they go (several times a year). That was 30 years ago and I'M STILL WAITING.... guess I'm never gonna see Vegas, huh!!!

Life has been "good" to my family members, they all have lived very comfortable over the years. Most have worked very hard for what they do have, some married it.

Sad thing, they help no-one but themselves and their immediate "own"!! I do give him credit though, he raised his grandchildren and some of his great grandchildren to keep them out of foster care..... his daughters didn't turn out very well!!

To each their own I guess. I have all I need in this life and I probably have more "peace of mind" than anybody in my family.
And to me that's pretty valuable.............

[$$only4ever]

I have the solution...... the first time I married for love. If something happens to DH, I will definitely marry for money

[familyof7]

I have the solution...... the first time I married for love. If something happens to DH, I will definitely marry for money

AMEN! LOL

[familyof7]

Its funny some of the people on this forum even act as if we should work harder to pay these bills back. I am just a little upset right now read chapter 7 forum and you will see on one of my most recent post why. lol

[guzzie]

kinda lucky...family very supportive....take me out to dinner now and again....don't rub it in or show off what they have...if they did , I'd tell them where the bear s**ts in the woods...
i'm at peace with myself...got myself in this mess will get myself out of it, and learn from it..
long as I have my health and my faith...will be alright....wishing all families could understand
what we are going through and wishing all of us continued good luck with our cases...guzzie

[6ftladycop]

Maybe they could buy you a new pair of shoes and since they have new tires and you dont have the money right now for tires, ask them to drive you around to where you need to go. Then use their cell phone to make some calls...maybe they will take a hint then.

I am not saying to actually do all that, but it might be worth a try. I know it feels like they are rubbing it our faces, but maybe they are just doing what they always do and it seems like they do not care.

I understand some of the other responses, however when parents are going through financial crisis and the adult children are still at home spending, eating, using electricity, using the television, watching the cable etc....personally speaking, since it is not a secret and everybody living in this household realizes that we have to be on a budget, then I feel that all parties involved should participate in the process.

[chpxiii]

6ftladycopy, if I understand you correctly:

The parents declared bankruptcy. They have adult children living them. The adult children are living with parents who just declared bankruptcy... if I have this correct then I am 100% completely with you. They need to help their parents out while their parents are helping *them* out by letting them live there.

So sad.