How would you encourage someone in rehabilitation?

[twuoo]

I have a neighbor who is in the hospital. She's been through ALOT and has had a lower extremity amputation. She no longer has her leg from the left knee down.

She has been in the hospital for quite some time now. She gets OT and PT as part of therapy. However, she is feeling discouraged at not making fast progress. In reality, she hasn't had any setbacks. She just needs time to heal.

At the beginning of the month, the doctor set her up by telling her she'll probably get to go home and have home therapy. Now he's changed his tune and said she needs to go to a skilled nursing home for rehab.

My neighbor is crushed. And feels like she wants to give up.

Can any of you folks offer imparting words of wisdom to encourage somebody not to give up. That there is a point to rehab?

I know alot of us on this board has been through hell and back!

[RainMoM]

Well your right alot of us have been threw hell and back ! I'm truly sorry to hear about your friend. that is something very hard to handle.. So my words of encouragement would be... GOD never gives us more then we can handle.
even tho at times it may seems that way, He's a on time God..


God bless

[Trixie007]

I agree with that answer with a slight modification: God never gives us more than He can handle - we just have to remember to look to Him for the help. My grandfather was an amputee and also died slowly over an agonizing 6 or 7 year period. One of the things that grandma said was most helpful to him was when she and others let him know that it was okay to not have the brave face on all the time, that he could share some of his grief and pain. People who are suffering don't need stories of who else you know who suffered, and they often have a fear that if their suffering is too hard for others to deal with, they will be left alone, so they'll "put on a happy face". Humor is good too, just don't be surprised when laughing makes them cry. HTH

[Bandit]

I have a neighbor who is in the hospital. She's been through ALOT and has had a lower extremity amputation. She no longer has her leg from the left knee down.

She has been in the hospital for quite some time now. She gets OT and PT as part of therapy. However, she is feeling discouraged at not making fast progress. In reality, she hasn't had any setbacks. She just needs time to heal.

At the beginning of the month, the doctor set her up by telling her she'll probably get to go home and have home therapy. Now he's changed his tune and said she needs to go to a skilled nursing home for rehab.

My neighbor is crushed. And feels like she wants to give up.

Can any of you folks offer imparting words of wisdom to encourage somebody not to give up. That there is a point to rehab?

I know alot of us on this board has been through hell and back!

I find the loss of a limb, physical pain or real bad medical problems far worse than a simple BK and you hear people whining about BK all the time. My thought is maybe you can set a date and an event, something really special that you know your neighbor will enjoy and be able to go to. Something reasonable that you can help make happen by taking her with you or perhaps the people she lives with can take her and make sure it happens. More than rehab she has got to have something special in her mind to look forward to...a trip somewhere maybe to see a relative or a place she likes, a concert, a display, a hobby event, a day at one of the local parks, something. Does she have that to look forward to?
A simple goal like this will really help make her heartache and adapting to the loss a tiny bit easier and get her mind off of the immediate thoughts of despair.

[Iwantmyname]

I had a bad leg break and infection that destroyed the skin. I did not lose the leg, but I have a very badly scarred leg, (The right leg) so I will not wear dresses that bare my leg in nice situations. I have my own pride and vanity. I still wear shorts or capri pants in casual situations no matter if I have a massive ugly blob of scarred skin. People ask questions and I have learned how to deflect them.

When I was in the Emergency room at the time of the accident I actually told them to get rid of the leg. They did not take me seriously, but that was how broken it was. Think "shattered into 100 pieces." I actually thought at the time it would be easier to heal if they just took it off. If dogs break certain legs badly they just amputate. It is easier for them because they stand on 3 legs, and can live a relitively normal life with an amputation. It took 3 years before I could walk without pain, but I got there.

People are going to be curious if a person has a deformity or flaw. Obviousy, she will need to understand that she will need to have some answers when she goes out in public. I actually practiced how I would answer in certain situations.

No one wants to loose a leg. I think everyone knows this, but since it is now a fact-- it happened-- then she needs to deal with it.

As a friend can you get her in touch with a group that helps with this process?

I will never be unscarred. The big day was when I wore a pair of shorts to a class I had taken. Someone asked why my Leg was all scarred. I decided there and then how to react. "I had an accident, and my leg got infected, and it is scarred, and it's hot so I figured I'd wear shorts." So there, that is about all I can say. Everyone accepted me. No one cursed me or threw me out.

It is a personal journey also. She's got to decide to do things when she is ready. I didn't wear shorts until about 2 years after the accident. It is like a period of mourning. Some people do things at their own pace when they feel ready. So your big problem is when do you come in? Just be there and be flexible. If she wants to feel sorry for herself that's Okay. A leg is a pretty big loss. You can't force her to be cheerful a few weeks or months after losing a leg. Let her feel sorry for herself. But be there, and keep giving her good vibes. I think that althoug it may seem crass people who have lost something actually do look at examples of a person who pulled though without mental problems. certain people who have thrived despite an amputation might actually interest an amputee-- they might reject the offer, but usually they will take a look. Hope this helps.

[nodollarsnomo]

We just went thru rehab with my 86yr. old dad. He went into the hospital the Saturday before Fathers Day with pneumonia and within a day he was septic and on a ventilator. He also had a stroke while in the ICU. He was on the vent for three days and in ICU for a week.

He was finally released from the hospital and went to a nursing home with a skilled nursing unit. He was there for 19 days. He said the thing that got him thru that experience is that he knew that he wasn't going to be there permanently and he knew that he had my mom to get home to plus his two dogs. He also knew that he was in no condition to go home and have my mom care for him (mom is 80).

He has been home for one week now and has progressed even more. When he came home he was in a wheelchair, then he used a walker, now he just uses a cane. A physical therapist comes three times a week, they are amazed at his strength for a person his age and his poor health (he has congestive heart failure and renial failure).

Sorry for the long winded story, but I think what I'm trying to get at is if your friend has a goal and something to look forward to, friends and family to rally around her she should be able to get thru rehab just fine. Hopefully she will remember that she lost a leg, but not her life.

[OhioFiler]

The poor neighbor is going through a grieving process as anyone who suffers a loss does. Everyone takes a different length of time to complete the stages of grief.

Older people also suffer significantly with depression but it is often undiagnosed or untreated. Much of this is a generational thing where older folks were raised without any understanding of depression and believe it's just feeling sad. They refuse to accept they have a treatable mental illness. I would encourage you to have your neighbor evaluated by a mental health professional.