15 Things a man can do at Wal-Mart -- While his wife is taking her
> own sweet time
>
> 1. Get a dozen boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts
> when they are not looking.
>
> 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at five-minute
> intervals.
>
> 3. Make a trail of tomato juice leading to the restrooms.
>
> 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone:
"Code
> three in Housewares," and see what happens.
>
> 5. Go to the service desk and ask t o put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
>
> 6. Move a "Caution - Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. Setup a tent in the Camping department... tell other shoppers
you're
> sleeping over, invite them in if they bring pillows from the
Bedding
> department.
>
> 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask:
"Why
> can't you people just leave me alone?"
>
> 9. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror to
pick
> your nose.
>
> 10. While handling guns in the Hunting department, ask the clerk if
> he/she knows where the anti-depressants are.
>
> 11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the
theme
> from "Mission: Impossible."
>
> 12. In the Auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different
> sized funnels.
>
> 13. Hide in a clothing rack, and when people browse through, say:
"Pick
> me! Pick Me!"
>
> 14. When an announcement comes over the PA, assume the fetal
position,
> and scream, "NO!...It's the voices again!!"
>
> 15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while. Then
yell
> loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
>
> own sweet time
>
> 1. Get a dozen boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts
> when they are not looking.
>
> 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at five-minute
> intervals.
>
> 3. Make a trail of tomato juice leading to the restrooms.
>
> 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone:
"Code
> three in Housewares," and see what happens.
>
> 5. Go to the service desk and ask t o put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
>
> 6. Move a "Caution - Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. Setup a tent in the Camping department... tell other shoppers
you're
> sleeping over, invite them in if they bring pillows from the
Bedding
> department.
>
> 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask:
"Why
> can't you people just leave me alone?"
>
> 9. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror to
pick
> your nose.
>
> 10. While handling guns in the Hunting department, ask the clerk if
> he/she knows where the anti-depressants are.
>
> 11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the
theme
> from "Mission: Impossible."
>
> 12. In the Auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different
> sized funnels.
>
> 13. Hide in a clothing rack, and when people browse through, say:
"Pick
> me! Pick Me!"
>
> 14. When an announcement comes over the PA, assume the fetal
position,
> and scream, "NO!...It's the voices again!!"
>
> 15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while. Then
yell
> loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
>
LOL
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