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    How'd you get here?

    By "here", I mean, in this predicament?

    I just wanted to say that I come on here and find reassurance in reading all of these posts. Admittedly, I live pretty much an isolated existence. My job is one of a cubicle and a headset (no, not a debt collector). Talk to customers all day long, but not like I'm gonna strike up a conversation of "so hey, how's your financial existence?, mine?, Mine's in ruins". It's not good to be living this nightmare and in isolation. But how many folks are going to readily tell you that they're also living this nightmare anyway, in the end.

    I just find it reassuring to sign on here. I get to falling into a pitty-party of sorts. Life wasn't supposed to be like this, especially at the age of 50. I was supposed to be more comfortable. Able to go and help my newly launched daughters decorate their homes, shop with them (they don't have the money to shop either). Help my aged mil with expenses she incurs. Go take a vacation here and there with my husband, and our almost empty nest selves. Instead I sit here, in mostly isolation from the outside world, broker than broke, being hounded by debt collectors. One in particular, don't even know who it is, a "210" area code, calls incessantly. I don't answer. Have nothing to tell them, except I can't even buy groceries right now, how am I gonna give you anything?

    So I fall into despair from time-to-time, and then I read here. And realize I'm not alone. It's comforting.

    How we got here, and I guess, in large part, the reason I haven't yet pulled the trigger on BK (amongst other reasons). My husband has owned his own skilled trades-related/construction business since 1988. Still does. That's our main source of livelihood. My job, is a pittance of funds. It provides our health ins. and that's about it, it's only part-time. While we never got rich off of his owning that business. All we've ever done is eek out an existence at what he does for a living. Maybe in years past, take a vacation or two here or there, buy what needs replacing around here, put a little to the side. All that is so long gone, and seemingly never to return. No vacations, no replacing things that break, and certainly no putting anything to the side anymore. The work just isn't there anymore. And not like he can even go get a job elsewhere, that field, is dead. So we hang on, hoping for the next big job, that doesn't come. We bid, constantly against others, in a lot of cases hackjobs that have no credentials and proper licensing, and loose the bid, more often than not.

    When will we bite the bullet and say enough is enough? I don't know. Wish I did. And, I guess fear of the unknown is always scarier than the fear you know, and know well. That's all dh has ever done for a living, in all of his working years. Doesn't know how to do anything else. And really, what else is there out there in the way of employment that is secure these days? Not much. Not unless he wants to go retrain and enter the medical field (about the only field I can see, that isn't loosing jobs rapidly), and at the ripe old age of 52, he's gonna go retrain to enter a medical field of employment? I dunno.

    So, just wondered, how'd other folks get in this predicament with their lives?

    And just wanted to say that these days when there is so little to be grateful for, at least in my world, I am grateful that I can find there are folks just like me, in these posts.

    #2
    Can I get cliff notes please? I got here by doing a google search...
    Filed: 6-7-2010 341: 7-15-2010 DISCHARGED: 9/17/2010

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      #3
      How'd I get here? My own stupidity of trusting an addict wrecked more havoc in two years than I could ever imagine..that in turn caused my credit card debt which in turn caused my subsequent bankruptcy. The addict came into the picture after a divorce from a cheating spouse. If a then b = c, maybe it was the spouse that really caused the bankruptcy...I did get a 3.5 in logic back in college; unfortunately it was not applicable to life.

      I filed back in 2005 right before the bankruptcy laws changed on three credit cards with over $50K of debt. It was a decision that caused many tears and many "I'm not this kind of person" issues but once it was started, I felt so much better. This forum enable me to maintain what sanity I had left after divorce, subsequent boyfriend & loss of funds. Today, I am in a much better place. I don't feel bad anymore. I have survived many things that would have caused ordinary people people to jump off the bridge; I am not ordinary, I am an individualist & it saved my mind.

      Don't stress; file!
      Filed Oct 2005discharged February 2007,Shapeless in the fire's glow, tell me if you think you know,
      Who it was we were below, where we've been and where we go

      Comment


        #4
        I found this forum by accident - just surfing around. Landed on one bk forum that "belittled me" no matter what my circumstances were. They offered no opinions other than negative ones. And no suggestions or shoulders or listening ears.
        When I found this forum I had filed and had a "sorry" attorney who failed to really do his job. His lack of action caused me much grief after I filed BK. After much reading and discussing my situation I made the decisions on how to handle everything that was happening to me.
        Thanks to the support and suggestions of everyone on this forum, my life finally turned around and got back on the right track again.
        Now my life is peaceful, presently going smoothly and looking forward to retirement in the future.
        This forum offered me opinions, support, a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and excellent guidance on what was going to happen and ways to handle it all.
        Along the "path" I made friends, enjoyed a chuckle or too (there's humor in everything - even BK), and learned a few new tricks of surviving life and what it throws at you.
        Welcome to our forum........................ may it lighten you burden, walk down the path with you, and help you keep yourself together till it's all over.
        May it "open a new door" to your future!!

        Minny
        Minny

        "It's amazing the paths that our feet sometimes follow in life".

        My suggestions are from "personal experience" and research only. Do not consider this as legal advice. Each bankruptcy case is different.

        Comment


          #5
          Hmm, well I got here because we were irresponsible with our spending. But it didn't affect us at first. Every time our debt got higher, one of us got a raise or a new job. Instead of paying off the debt, we just incurred more debt because we now had more for monthly payments.

          We refinanced our house over and over and over again. I think 6 or 7 times in the past 8 years. They always gave us more money to spend and lower interest rates. We did finish our basement and started on a second bathroom(still not done after 3 years!).

          We have had every single appliance in our house go up at least once. Our front concrete steps caved in. Our very elderly neighbor was housing squirrels(and rats, ewh) because of how bad her house was. When they kicked her out of her house and fixed up the holes, the squirrels just moved over to our house! They ate through our attic and caused us thousands of dollars in damages.

          Add to that my husband's need for every gadget and electrical wonder and that equals hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt
          Filed Ch7 10/14/09 - 341 11/23/09
          Last day for objections 1/22/2010
          Discharged!!! 1/25/2010
          Closed! 1/28/2010

          Comment


            #6
            Hmmm, what got us here?

            Stupid decisions with money--overspending, throw in some slow times at husband's job and using CC's to get through the tight months. Some expensive car repairs recently. A rough year with some medical/dental for me.

            Then add in CC companies raising interest rates and minimum payments and it was all a recipe for disaster.

            Comment


              #7
              How did I get here? Ummm...web surfing??

              No, seriously....mine was a surprise trip (on an ambulance) to the hospital and 3 days in the ICU for "septicemia"...basically it's a system wide infection that tries to shut ya down. Add to that the rising costs of fuel, groceries, rent...no raises at work, no bonuses for 3 years, no child support for 5 years now....it all has added up over the past two years and I simply got to the point where I couldn't keep up. I've been paying what I could but the collection agencies are never happy with what I can pay...they of course want more and more. (Anyone ever played russian roulette with this? You pay one more to keep them quiet for awhile but you have to skimp on another one so you hear from them more??) Some bottom feeder lawyers have managed to get ahold of 2 accounts (I didn't even know those bills existed - the boyfriend at the time of my hospital trip gave the ambulance his address...and he passed away in an accident 4 months after my hospital trip so the bills for that were apparently going to his address this whole time) and have become increasingly obnoxious in their collection efforts and I finally had had enough.....filing for a Chapter 7 wasn't exactly something I wanted to do....but I finally realized this was the only way I was going to get back on my feet again....

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                #8
                Got 3 more notices in the mail today that interest rates on those cards will be raised to 29.99% (not that it matters at this point--our last payments to our CC's were a couple weeks ago--we were officially late on our first earlier this week)

                2 Citi cards and 1 Chase.

                Nice.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Many reasons for being here. Some of the wounds are self inflicted, others were caused by other people. I have learned many things......
                  All information contained in this post is for informational and amusement purposes only.
                  Bankruptcy is a process, not an event.......

                  Comment

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