Update! We booked our honeymoon

[tinroofrusted]

And I ordered my veil yesterday. I everything I need for the wedding day, except for special things to wear under my dress. =)

It's all coming together, and I am getting excited.

However, the future, MIL, better stop the crap now, or the rest of my life is not going to be fun. We have had several talks about her butting in, and apparently it's not doing any good.

[Minnymouth]

Better nip that in the bud right now.............. her intentions might be good, but start it now, it'll never stop.........

Congrads, I happy for ya........

Not long now till the "big day".................

Keep us posted....

Minny

[tinroofrusted]

Better nip that in the bud right now.............. her intentions might be good, but start it now, it'll never stop.........

Congrads, I happy for ya........

Not long now till the "big day".................

Keep us posted....

Minny

Minny, I have never in my life met someone who worries more about what other people think. She called us FIVE times while registering to see what we were up to. She kept logging on as we were registering, and would call and say "why did you register for that?" when we registered for camping gear. And she was like, "make sure to register for some expensive things, our friends will be coming...."

I am really sorry, but impressing the Jone's at the country club is not my intetions with my wedding, and she can kiss my rosy white behind..... it's getting really old really fast.

I have tried to calmly and rationally explain things to her, but it goes in one shallow ear, and out the other.

[tinroofrusted]

PS, I also found out that when we were bridesmaid dress shopping two weeks ago, my ex-husband (the jerk who got me into this mess) his new fiancee was there also. If I weren't so angry at him, I would feel sorry for him. The poor girl is so ugly.... Revenge is sweet, even if God is the one who provides it, and not me!

[Minnymouth]

Some MIL's will NEVER GIVE IN............ OR DIE TRYING.....

Just do your thing, plan your wedding, etc.... register what you want you new husband want and....................SMILE...............

When she suggest something - HUG HER - THANK HER - and then do your own thing....!

I'm sure her intentions are good - just overbearing!!!

If you want to do a mother in law "IN" - KILL HER WITH KINDNESS............. they can't stand it....

By the way, does your MIL have any daughters????

You may getting her baby boy for the rest of your life - but your also getting her too........ AT LEAST EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE............

What does your soon-to-be say about all this and his mom...??


Yes - REVENGE IS SWEET - and often God takes care of it for us................ without even asking!!!

Minny

[tinroofrusted]

My soon-to-be is getting fed up as well. He told her to f* off the other day because she was being so obnoxious. I felt bad for her because she was crying, but her behavior was so apalling.

He has since apologized, but he told her that enough is enough, and while we appreciate the help, this is all about us.

BTW-she has NO daughters!

[tresjolie]

I speak from experience----watch the MIL but watch your soon to be more. If he agrees with you and helps hold MIL in check you will be fine. The real trouble starts when he does not hold MIL in check and believe me that's a losing battle and wasted years.....

[Minnymouth]

NO DAUGHTERS - EXPLAINS A LOT.....................

Remember, she's never had a daughter before to deal with, only boys..... and boys mind...... daughters don't!

She will never have the opportunity to plan a wedding for her own daughter.. she has none..... and its a womans dream in the future......

Your soon to be should know exactly how to handle his mom..... but don't let him be "cruel" to her..... he is her baby boy......

I'm sure her intentions are GOOD..... and she means well..... but sometimes some MIL's have to be told to BACK OFF............several times.... before they get the message....

Remember, she's not loosing a son - she's gaining a daughter in this wedding.....

Talk to your soon-to-be, tell him to include mom in stuff - but make his/yours own decisions in the end....

Ask her for suggestions or ideas, then use your own judgement.... this will make her feel "included".... and part of the process.

A friend of mine keeps her MIL laughing all the time when she's around.... says if she didn't - she'd beat her half to death.......... the laughter breaks the tension!!!

MIL's worry more about "being accepted" then new brides do!!!

New brides control the new husband, and the new bride has to "make peace" with the MIL..... that's how it works most of the time.

Be firm with her - both of you - but also be courtous enough to listen to what she says, and then do whatever you guys decide.

Did she have a big wedding? Maybe not..... and too her this is very exciting.... Maybe she's daydreaming of things in the past......

Did you get along well before the word "wedding" came up???

Minny

[Minnymouth]

I agree with Tresjolie - if soon-to-be sides with MIL a lot - the future will be the same way......

If he stands firm regarding his mom and keeping her in "check" and you both make the decisions, then the future will be that way....

Momma's BOY'S don't change........... they only get worse!!

Minny

[SinkingFast]

Many Congrats, Tin!!

A great cure for a buttinsky MIL is to live farther than a long distance phone call away.

Minny is also right. Watch your intended and who he sides with. If he stands up to Mom, you'll do OK.

One tidbit of advice from a woman married to a man who's Mom only had sons,......... Even tho he complains about things about his Mom, don't ever say anything bad about her to him. He'll immediately jump to defend her. Keep whatever bad thoughts you have about her to yourself. Let her tie her own noose and hang herself with her son.

[Minnymouth]

SinkingFast - VERY WELL SPOKEN........

A man may love his wife - but he'll defend his momma!!!

[robivi3]

Congrats Tin, I know you are happy. We also appreciate that you have kept us updated and regards us in the "friends" column.

just set your mind to "overlook" mode on some things. He needs to realize that now he is with you and you take precedence over mother. I've been there with the ML deal about 16 years ago. It took seperation to make my wife see the light and we have had no interference problems since, my wife is very extremely firm with her mother and she has gotten the message, though she has to "re-get" it every once in awhile.

Set your mind to make things work, but he has to also. If you are both reasonable, you'll do fine. I agree 1000% with Min and Sinking, both my Dad and my ML made problems, distance is a wonderful thing. Red Flags come up when he sides with Momma. You are a beautiful woman (remember we saw your pic in the Hawaiian dress) and you are second fiddle to none. He is very fortunate. Finding someone with real "family values" is rare.

My wife was fortunate... she gets to live with Mr. Perfect, even though the rest of the world is messed up! Ok... I hear it... LOL... That's only one opinion...

[SinkingFast]

.

My wife was fortunate... she gets to live with Mr. Perfect, even though the rest of the world is messed up! Ok... I hear it... LOL... That's only one opinion...

I thought I lived with Mr. Perfect!! Are we married to each other Rob??!!

ROFL!!!!

[jane taylor]

Wait a minute!!! I'm married to Mr. Perfect! Rob, how many wives DO you have?

Tin, congratulations and best wishes!! I can empathize with family getting in the way. My poor husband has to put up with that. We live close to my parents and they drive us nuts sometimes. Well meaning, but very nosy!

Hope your wedding day is perfect and that all will go smoothly--you deserve it!

jane

[tinroofrusted]

Many Congrats, Tin!!

A great cure for a buttinsky MIL is to live farther than a long distance phone call away.

Minny is also right. Watch your intended and who he sides with. If he stands up to Mom, you'll do OK.

One tidbit of advice from a woman married to a man who's Mom only had sons,......... Even tho he complains about things about his Mom, don't ever say anything bad about her to him. He'll immediately jump to defend her. Keep whatever bad thoughts you have about her to yourself. Let her tie her own noose and hang herself with her son.

This is sooooo hard for me to do. When someone or something is bothering me, I want to jump on it right then, and let it all hang out.

However, no one likes having their family badmouthed, so I try to keep it to just what she is doing at the moment that needs to be stopped.

On the other hand, she is being really really really helpful where my mother (who is finishing her master's degree right now and doesn't have time) can't really. SHe is calling caterers, and booking people, and has a lot of (rich and eclectic) friends that can do stuff for much cheaper than full price, so she does have good points too!

BTW-if anyone wants to see our wedding page, here it is:
(140 days to go!!)

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/AmieThompson&JasonKenyon

We are getting married AND having our reception at the local art museum... we got an absolute bargain for the whole day/night, so it should be amazing!