Have some PARENTING ????~allowances, chores, etc.

[lilgoose]

Hello Fellow BKer's,

Have some questions on how moms and dads have handled making a chore list for each child and how the allowance issue was handled. We have an 11 1/2 yr old and a 5 yr old (boy and girl respectively) and the allowance issue has become a daily thing......So, we need some help from those who are experienced in these matters!

After our experience, we have decided that our children need to learn how to handle finances better than we have so they don't go thru this....Let them earn what they want to spend and make their own choices based on the amount saved/earned.

But, we are not sure how to go about it.

What type of chores did you give your kids at these ages? I am not sure what we should expect them to do.

The 11 1/2 yr old mows the yard with our riding lawn mower, so is that a chore since he begs to do this???? Do we pay him for it???

If you made a chart, what does it look like and how did you keep track of their individual chores.....

How much per chore did they earn? How often did you pay them? Was there extra $$ for extra things...What did you decide was "help mom/dad out because it is expected" vs "this is a paid extra"?

I know there are people out there who will say "they live there, therefore they should do things for free"...Okay, to you, I do agree that they live here and need to help out, but I also feel if they want things (and what kid doesn't) then they can earn the money for the item and make their own choices. Why just give them the $$$?

So, any and all input would be greatly appreciated!!

Look forward to hearing all your thoughts and advice!!

[SinkingFast]

Our kids never got an allowance. Yes,........ They were the wierd kids at school. Chores at home were expected and not rewarded. We are a family and we work together as a family to maintain the home and accomplish tasks for the family.

Our house outa state sits on 5 acres. When we mowed, everybody had jobs. Some ran around the yard picking up trash and tree limbs before mowing started, some mowed, some trimmed, some carried water to keep everybody hydrated. Some traded off on the mowing to spell the people mowing. The whole family worked to get the yard mowed.

But I agree that they do need their own money. In our case, grandparents live long distance. So for birthdays and other holidays, they send cash. Instead of spending the cash for the children, once they were old enough, we just gave them the money to do with as they choose. Another way they had their own money was report cards. We have always rewarded good work in the classroom. The value of an A changed with the age of the child. Once they became teenagers, if they wanted money to spend, they had to earn it on their own. Babysitting, odd jobs, etc.

We always encouraged saving as well. Even "mandated" as it were, a certain % of the money be saved. At the very least, the kids had to set aside 10%. Which was a great idea, and they learned well from it.

Sadly tho, in the last year, the kids have had to spend their own savings to pay for things we normally would have. Last fall, the girls wanted to go the School Formal Dance. We couldn't buy dresses, buy admission tickets, pay for dinner before, and movie and snacks afterward. They wanted to go, they had to pay their own way. No dates, the girls were going with a group so everybody paid their own way. You wanna talk about a couple of girls shopping economically. And digging thru the old stuff to put with new so they wouldn't have to buy something. They set a limit on what they would spend for dinner before the dance and stuck to it. They had a great time and didn't spend the minor fortune that many of their classmates did on the evening.

I guess, in a sense, having to pick up the slack out their own savings has been a lesson too. If they hadn't had the rainy day funds, when different events came up, they wouldn't be able to participate. And because they are spending their own money, they pick and choose what they really, really want to do as well. Plus, they've found lots of "free" activities to participate in. They know they can go out, have a good time with friends, and not spend more than the price of a drink and sometimes a snack for a whole evening of fun.

[lilgoose]

Thank you so far! Am going to start making notes and start comparing.....

Anyone else have any ideas or thoughts???? Will gladly take all that we can get on this subject that is so hard for parents these days!

Trying very hard not to get caught up in the peer pressure thing....

[jane taylor]

We have a 16 year-old and a 13 year-old. We don't give allowances per se, but we do have chore lists for them to complete most every day. We make out our budget and then tell them what we have to spend on certain items. They can make extra money by going above and beyond daily chores. For example, detailing the vehicles, extra yard work, pressure washing the outside of the house, etc. We encourage them to save some of their money and also to give to the church.

This is so hard for us because our kids are teens. It has; however, allowed for open and honest communication about money management--something that was browbeaten (sp?) into me.

Our oldest has a part-time job and he pays for all his "extras" like dates, eating out, movies, or designer clothes. We pay his insurance and gasoline so I think that's fair.

I'm also open to any ideas.