Forum Rules (Everyone Must Read!!!) (updated: 04/28/2015)

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Divorce & Emotions

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  • Divorce & Emotions

    Bankruptcy is stressful so much on its own and then you throw in a divorce. Are there any people that have made it through both? Please share your stories so that I can feel the support..
    Filed Chapter 13 05/23/08
    Converted to Chapter 7 Jan 2012
    Discharged April 2012

  • #2
    I've been through both. Divorce and then BK a year later. The divorce was due to a failed business among other things. The BK was needed to clean everything up. My story is long and I won't share it here but I am still dealing with the effects 7 years later which is the reason for my current Chapter 13. At some point you just have to say enough is enough and refuse to let it beat you. The negative effects of my marriage is lasting longer than the marriage itself. You will get through this! I have a great job now and the ex is long since a bad memory. 3 years from now I will be able to start fresh though I see the Chapter 13 as a beginning. I can't offer much advice except to say you will come out stronger and smarter on the other end. Hang in there!
    Filed 11/17/11 Chapter 13, 341 meeting 12/21/11. Plan confirmed 1/19/12 - DISCHARGED 12/16/15


    • #3
      I filed for Divorce on Oct 27th & BK (CH7) a week later on Nov 3rd. I am surviving through both also. Since I'm sure my situation is very different than yours, the only advice I have is to find a good therapist and/or talk to someone you can trust regularly about your emotions. My ex went to jail at the end of July and will be released this Wednesday. I am currently looking at my options for home security systems to protect myself & my boys from anything he might do despite the PFA I have against him. I made the conscious decision to file for divorce & BK around the same time a few weeks ago. It's a lot to take on at once. But, the decision to do both at the same time was basically a no-brainer. My ex is a financial/emotional parasite & I had a 3 month break from his manipulation to figure out how to get my life back... without him. All debt was mine, all assets are mine. The sooner I can cut all ties, the better.

      I wish you luck through your ordeal and hope you fare well. All of the struggles we went through yesterday make us stronger people today as long as we keep moving forward. This too shall pass...
      Filed Ch7 11/2011, 341 - 12/5/11, 12/6/11 - Trustee's Report of No Distribution - No Funds
      Deadline to file Objections: 2/3/12, DISCHARGED & CLOSED 2/10/12!!!


      • #4
        While going through this difficult phase, it is almost natural to discuss your condition with other divorced individuals. Thus, you might end up comparing your situation with theirs. You must understand that your family situation is entirely different from the other person. So, do not make any comparisons to avoid unwanted stress for your own self. Avoid wasting your precious time and energy in making comparisons. Divorce can have negative implications on your childrens' psychology. Your separation affects them the most emotionally. If the conflicts with your spouse are severe then it can affect your childrens' self esteem along with their mental well being.


        • #5
          yes. your idea is right.


          • #6
            My BK was to clean up my life after my divorce and get a true "fresh start" ... had a lot of bills left over from marriage counseling, shared debts, cars I didn't need, blah blah...not I'm happily single, have a new place all to myself, and I'm much happier.


            • #7
              BK is scheduled to be discharged on 8/28 and I am filing for divorce tomorrow.

              His refusal to act like a decent husband and father or share any financial information led to the seperation. His subsequent refusal to help with the children led to the bankruptcy and divorce.


              • #8
                if your planning for an divorce its really a emotional, but its your life you can make it by your wish.

                "Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today."


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