I want to file but I am so scared...I'm crazy

[moneyblues]

I need to file so badly. I have lost everything and I need a place to stay (temporarily staying with a relative and I have to be out at the end of the month) and a car and I have neither. My credit score is in the very low 500s and I don't have the money to pay anyone. I'm trying to get the money up just for a BK and that's coming slow. I hope my life improve here and I don't have anything to lose, so why an I so scared to file? I almost feel like I am jumping in water too deep for me to swim and I'm drowning in the pool I'm in. I was going to try and work with my creditors and see if I can get some pay for deletes, but one of my good friends is telling me to forget them and look out for me. I have to be crazy. I feel like I'm committing an act that I will never recover from. Please someone tell me that it will be okay and I will survive. I need to hear that right now over and over. I'm scared folks. Really scared.

[tjsmiley]

The situation you're in right now is what bankruptcy is designed for, in my opinion. Lots of people make avail of the law when it is sorely needed, no matter how much you owe. If you cannot keep your head above water, you need to do something to change it. Thank goodness you have the safety net of filing for bankruptcy.

I also am going through the same emotions as you right now. I haven't filed yet but I have been through a month-long nightmare (sleepless nights, going over scenarios in my mind, listing pros and cons...you name it!) and finally decided to file. I believe it WILL be ok and I will survive it and so will you!

Start looking for another friend or relative to stay with. I would get that taken care of FIRST, before anything else. Line up housing and then see what you can do about a car. Maybe you could borrow a friend's or neighbor's in exchange for a service you provide like yardwork, cleaning, babysitting, etc. You never know. Also, you could check into filing BK yourself, if you think you can handle it. There's a thread about that on this forum. Good luck to you.

[free2breathe]

moneyblues, stop, take a DEEEEEEEEEP breath. There, feel a little better? The absolute best advice is to let go of the emotional part and make the best financial decision for YOU.

You don't give a lot of info, but from what you've said, we can see there is no house to worry about losing, no car loan to decide whether to try to hang on to. So, basically I assume you have what feels like a mountain of unsecured debt. Don't think of bankruptcy as a pool, but rather the lifesaver that can keep you afloat. Your credit scores are already rock bottom. Believe it or not, you probably stand to gain more by filing bankruptcy than you would lose.

Set up a couple of free consultations with attorneys. This will give you a better, and more rational, idea of what you are facing. You aren't committing to anything by meeting with them. If you can somehow come up with money to hire an attorney to file, that's great. However, if you can't, you can look into filing it yourself - "pro se". But let me tell you that it's not a simple thing to do. It's doable....many of us on this forum have successfully filed on our own. There are plenty of resources to help you, such as the Nolo Chapter 7 book (available online at nolo.com), this forum, your local library, and your district's bankruptcy court website.

You're going to be ok....if you choose to file, you join the million plus other American's who have chosen to file each year. It really is nothing to be ashamed of.

[Peeps]

Of course it's scary! Nuthin' wrong with that!! You're talking about some pretty big changes (and just about everyone here has faced those same changes and fears so you're in good company). But instead of worrying about how hard it will be or what kind of obstacles might present themselves, think about how incredibly free you're going to feel when you get your feet back under you. We're taught to believe we're defined by our FICO and people are good/bad based on how they pay their bills. It's all marketing hype.

At the end of the day, you're still you. Your choices don't define you. They define your environment. And you're taking steps to give yourself something better for the future. That's not so scary, is it? There's a lot of work involved, yes, but if it's for all the right reasons then it's not so bad. Hang in there and best of luck.

[helpme2010]

What amazed me is how life just kept getting worse and worse and worse. I never thought I would file bk, I never thought I would go into foreclosure, I never thought I would keep losing jobs or be out of work so long. BK is your last resort and your one time bailout. If you are thinking of filing bk, stop paying your creditors (except your utilities - e.g. stop paying credit card companies, etc.) for months and start putting that money away, because you will need that money to pay for your attorney, the filing fee for bankruptcy, then you will need to save additional money to live off of after you file bk. So start socking away a few thousand dollars and be prepared to live as cheaply as you can after that.

[OhioFiler]

Facing financial uncertainty and the prospect of bankruptcy can be debilitating for many people. Based on the limited information you provide in your post I would not be too concerned about filing bankruptcy at this time. Your focus should be on developing the means to meet your basic needs. A rush to bankruptcy is only needed when creditors are forcing you to file because they are close to seizing your assets. I don't see that happening in your case. I suggest you get your life in order first and then look at cleaning up your debt. When one is in need of such basics as housing and transportation, FICO scores and collection efforts should be of no concern. Best of luck to you.

[Floridagail]

You will survive and be fine, believe me, It is no moral big deal,you know this is why the law is there. Rich people do it often. Millions of americans are being forced to file now. Do not beat yourself up please just take care of yourself.
and focus on getting job and place to live.
I waited 18mos after stop paying my bills to finally be able to afford to file. Noone can take your house or paycheck if you do not have one. Not one of my cc sued me for 18mos. So wishing you good luck...

[ChaseDidThis]

Facing financial uncertainty and the prospect of bankruptcy can be debilitating for many people. Based on the limited information you provide in your post I would not be too concerned about filing bankruptcy at this time. Your focus should be on developing the means to meet your basic needs. A rush to bankruptcy is only needed when creditors are forcing you to file because they are close to seizing your assets. I don't see that happening in your case. I suggest you get your life in order first and then look at cleaning up your debt. When one is in need of such basics as housing and transportation, FICO scores and collection efforts should be of no concern. Best of luck to you.

Very well said, get your life in order first so you can meet basic needs after discharge. If you can't realize a fresh start then bk is of no use, you'll just end up in the same place in a couple years.

[tobee43]

moneyblues, if you didn't feel this way...it wouldn't be normal...most of us go through such an emotional roller coaster of fears and tears...and then face the fact we just have to make the best decisions for our futures.

it seems so hard, but, really for us it turned out to be the best decision and we lost our home of 33 years in the process...we were actually "homeless" for a while as well...so i so understand your scared and it seems like there is so where to go. but you are moving in the right direction and you will land on your feet!!!!

[tobee43]

Very well said, get your life in order first so you can meet basic needs after discharge. If you can't realize a fresh start then bk is of no use, you'll just end up in the same place in a couple years.

a fresh start is the BEST thing anyone can do......ChaseDidThis is a GREAT name!!!! chase did it to us too..

[ChaseDidThis]

a fresh start is the BEST thing anyone can do......ChaseDidThis is a GREAT name!!!! chase did it to us too..

Thank You, I was a tad bit distraught when I came up with that name, but now actually I probably should send them a Thank You card for steering me in the right direction.

Moneyblues, everyone hear is telling you right, you need to look after you and look at it as a business decision. For my family and I, it has been the best decision of our lives. We are now on a budget and can actually afford to buy groceries and go to the doctor when we need to. It was a very hard decision and as others have said feeling guilty is normal, but you really need to do whats best for you.

[keepsmiling]

Chase did this to me too, wish I had thought of that name lol.
Bad faith thru and thru. Would really like to sue them. Anyone know of anyone who has been able to do that????

[moneyblues]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I feel a little better today than yesterday. I was close to freaking completely out yesterday. Today I have moments when I just want to break out in tears and just destroy everything around me, but I don't. I want to cry as I type this but I'm holding, I'm good. All of the post were good and boy do I need this! I hate not being able to take care of my responsibilities and my kids and they are starting to feel the effects of our situation. I will post it later more in dept about all that's going on and maybe you will have solutions. It's too overwhelming right now that I can't type it. I have no words.

[ooCHAOSoo]

It's okay to have all sorts of emotions. You can cry if you need to. I know I definitely do; it'll make you feel better when you have a good cry. We're just in the beginning stages and constantly think why us? Why do we have to do this? I keep telling myself that this is the best thing for us and you have to think the same. We are still young (going to be 31 and 32) and would not be able to get out of the debt we are in without bankruptcy. We met with a lawyer a few months ago who went over our options. After we left, I was hysterical. We thought about the past, the what ifs. You know what I say? Coulda, shoulda, woulda. You can't have regrets about the past. It is what it is! You need to live in the present. Now, the more I think about, the better I feel. We will be able to live on a budget and be back on our feet in a little over 5 years. Soon, we won't have creditors calling anymore. We won't be stressing about how we are going to pay to eat, keep the house warm, etc. I can't wait until we actually file (which will be sometime in April I hope).

[Peeps]

Hang in there - I spent most of October and November crying. It's a hard pill to swallow, especially because it feels like such a personal defeat (btw, it's not a personal defeat... sometimes it just feels like it). But you're on the right track for better days and you're definitely in the right place for support and a full range of answers to any questions that might come up. You'll make some choices that help put your family first and things will start to feel a whole lot better then. And if you don't start to feel better, you might consider talking with a doc about the additional stresses and ongoing tears (and/or freakouts) associated with this tough period of time. More than a few of us have had little helpers for the stress of a BK.