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why i'm so discouraged

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  • why i'm so discouraged

    Just thought I'd share a little of my story. Maybe someone has some words of wisdom.

    I'm dealing with so many things at once. My 2nd wife walked out 4 months ago, which forced me to have to file the ch 7. My first wife two days after that, filed to ask for a massive child support increase from 350 a month to 1300 a month, which I'm trying to fight. Not that i don't feel i owe what I owe, just i deserve to be able to survive as well. (also, I want my kids half the time, but have never been allowed to have them more than 1/3) With the BK pending, and not having to pay the debts, such as cc's, car loan, I can just get by, no extra for clothes, gifts, going out, even a hair cut. Not sure what I'll do when I have to surrender the car, I have no way to buy another car. With any increase in CS I won't be able to keep my house, and then i may lose my kids completely. I'm turning 42 soon, and am having a lot of job stress to boot. (how do you focus on a job, with all that other stuff?) I'm also dealing with piling up legal fees, and owe 3K in taxes for 2016. I fought for years to get more time with my girls but the judge never saw it my way, and kept taking away time, and now all of sudden first wife wants more $$ and is asking for back pay on top. Even if I can get the increase to half what she wants, I'm ruined. I've lost my wife, barely get to see my kids, and won't even have a car in just over a month. This is not where I saw my self 10 years ago. very discouraged, not sure what I'm going to do.

  • #2
    You do have a lot on your plate, but many, many of us have the same pile of dominoes (mine- divorce led to foreclosure, then BK and interspersed in all of that is child support/custody stuff). For me, stopping and realizing I could be way more in control of all of this than I was helped immensely. Letting it all happen TO you is discouraging and digs the hole deeper. I found that I was, and am, a better attorney for myself than the one I sunk thousands into for my divorce. Although it's still playing out and likely will for the next 3 years, I know my situation better and care more than anyone else will. There's tons of excellent information here about BK and along with the NOLO book, you may find it empowering to forge ahead pro se. It's definitely cheaper. Likewise, there's lots of good info out there for representing yourself in divorce/child custody/support matter. Take it all one step at a time. As I'm sure you know, nothing in the court system moves quickly so take each piece as it comes and get yourself organized, disciplined and educated, even if you are able to secure representation. Literally the day I took control of my situation, everything has gone uphill. I was successfully discharged from Chapter 7, my ex will likely be paying me child support (he should have been years ago), my credit scores are respectable and climbing, and my next step is to buy a house. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

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    • #3
      This is not who you are, the situation of life that we go through are not what determines our worth. You'll get through this and gained wisdom to pass on to some else. One thing that I've learned from my experience, is to NEVER get married again!!!

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      • #4
        Kberly69, tm0101, thank you so much for the encouragement! I took a break from all my worries this last weekend, didn't think about anything other than that moment as it came.

        I also read the book, the Alchemist over the weekend. What an uplifting story. Thanks for the support!

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