Forum Rules (Everyone Must Read!!!) (updated: 04/28/2015)

Welcome to the Bankruptcy Forum. Bankruptcy (BK) Forum is known as and will be referred to as BKF hereinafter. In order to ensure a long term success of our vibrant community, we have established certain rules and guidelines to which everyone must adhere to. Please take your time to carefully read our rules, before you start to participate in the community.

Things you agree to do: (BKF) users agree to use the search function before starting a new thread. This prevents duplicate discussions and allows for better organized topics.

All BKF users agree to read the sticky posts which may be available at the top of a forum page. These Sticky posts often contain valuable information. They may also outline more rules and guidelines specific for that particular forum, stickies are put in place by that forums moderator(s) or admin(s).

Things you agree not to do:

All BKF users agree not to call people names or write a post simply to make a personal attack, or get a negative reaction; this behavior is not allowed on our forum. The use of derogatory language aimed at anyone will be severely dealt with. There is no need to agree with each other, or to even like each other. However, by signing onto you agree to treat each member and guest with the respect they deserve. No threats or personal attacks will be allowed.

All BKF users agree not to discuss, engage, or encourage any behavior or activity which violates the law. Discussion of drugs, violence, murder, theft, vandalism, fraud or any other issue which could be used to help individuals break the law is strictly forbidden.

All BKF users agree not to "bump" old threads, unless there is a specific benefit to the community by doing so. But in most cases, please don't post in very old threads, instead start new threads.

All BKF users agree not to attempt/use another members account. It is against BKF rules to use any account other than your own. Impersonating another member will result in an immediate ban. It is also against the rules to open more than one account in your own name without permission from a moderator or administrator. If you have been banned for any reason, it is against the rules to open another account. If you were banned temporarily and you are caught using another account you will be banned permanently. Choosing a moniker which is similar in either sound or spelling as a moderator or administrator is strictly forbidden.

All BKF users agree not to private message any moderator, admin, or other member with questions related to their personal circumstances (Questions about the forum or issues with the forum are ok). This forum only works when members share their experience and insights with everyone.

Things you agree not to post:
All BKF users agree not to post any derogatory/racist/or sexist remarks. This includes attachments, links and all information contained within posts, signatures, and avatars, failure to comply with this rule will result in a permanent ban.

All BKF users agree not to post any copyrighted or trademarked information without the express written permission of the owner(s) / proper citation of source.

All BKF users agree not to post any real names, addresses, telephone numbers, email addresses, social security numbers, or any other personal details (their own or other people's).

All BKF users agree not to post links, pictures, attachments, videos, or the like of pornographic content, objectionable material or extreme violence, whether cartoon or real.

All BKF users agree not to use BKF for advertising purposes without a written contract between yourself/company/agent and the administration of BKF. Blatant advertising will result in a ban.

All BKF users agree not to spam the forums. Spam includes but is not limited to posting erroneous, non-relevant-useless, off-topic, or meaningless posts. Spam may also include posts which contain no text, or large areas of blank space between lines. Simply posting emoticons without text is considered spam. BKF is the largest bankruptcy message board and all the content is intended to help other users. Please help us improve the quality of our forum by making sure that your posts are well-worded, spell checked, grammatically correct and syntaxed.

Regarding actions of moderators and administrators:

The forum is no place to air out your opinion or be judgmental of our staff and its capabilities.

All BKF users agree not to abuse or mistreat moderators or administrators. It is against BKF rules to post any information regarding bans or any other action taken by a member of the moderating or administrative team. If you wish to discuss bans or warnings please do so via PM. To place a complaint against a moderator, send a PM to a super moderator. All Moderators are equal, any decision made by a moderator must be adhered to. If a moderator tells you something you do not like, do not go to another moderator looking for a different answer. If you are caught doing this you will be banned. The moderators work as a team and respect the decisions made by their peers and will help enforce them unless an administrator tells them differently.
If you have an issue with how the forum is run, then notify one of our administrator and we will look into the situation. We have in the past and still do appreciate any input that you offer this forum. But critical input and/or judgmental postings towards the staff will result in you getting banned.

Should you find a thread offensive or out of line, then notify a Mod in a PM so they can evaluate the situation and do the action deemed necessary.

All moderators do have active "other" lives outside of the forum and help moderate this forum in their spare time throughout the days and weeks.

If you have a problem with a member or Mod follow the proper channels of reporting it.

BKF reserves the right to delete any posts which contain anti-BKF comments or discussion. Any bashing of moderators or administrators, or any of their discussion or actions will also be deleted, and the responsible posting party(s) will be banned. Any public anti-BKF advertising, communication, or posts on another forum will result in permanent bans as well.

All warnings and bans are decided by individual moderators and administrators. Warnings are preferable to bans however, for serious offenses and repeat abusers bans will go into effect. The length of the bans can vary from several hours to permanent.

All messages posted or sent including through PM are the property of

All BKF users agree not to advertiser on the forum (Niether by posting, private messaging or using your signature). If you are a company/attorney/legal adviser wishing to advertise on the site or sell a product, you must contact the head administrator and inquire about our advertising packages.

All bankruptcy related opinions expressed on are those of their authors and not necessarily of BKF, its staff or representatives.

You agree not to copy any material/post/content from BKF without written permission from our head administrator .

By posting on this forum you agree to these terms and conditions, including any punishment deemed appropriate by moderators or administrators in the event of an offense.

Administrators/Moderators can change these rules at any time without prior notice.
See more
See less

My sister

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • My sister

    She is 30k in CC debt, new house, missing payments on utilities (4 of them this month she is behind on) regularly. Can't pay or save for anything.

    I didn't intend to tell my family about my Chap 13 but i really felt bad for when she disclosed this (when saying how she doesn't have any money for even a decent bday gift for our nephew..). I explained to her that it is the 'working mans plan' and you will build up your credit again - not to worry. She said she will wait until she can't pay her mortgage. (insert eye roll)...

    She didn't think her amount was enough to warrant such a "drastic action". How can i get her to understand that once she does this - she will wish she had taken this step a year ago?

    She can't get ahead of her interest rates - she is chasing her tail on them yet she is concerned that she won't have credit to get a new car when she needs one.


  • #2
    When you're to the point of not being able to pay your utilities because you're so worried about sending money to credit cards... That should be a real eye-opener. Unfortunately, for many, it isn't -- and they keep up this game longer and longer, hoping for it to somehow magically get better. Is there any magic in her foreseeable future? An inheritance? A new job with a crazy raise? Does she have some magical way to sweet-talk these credit card companies into being nice and bending over backwards to help her out?

    If the answer to this is "D" -- none of the above -- well. Guess what.

    If she needs a new car, she should get one now, before she misses a mortgage or credit card payment, and her credit starts to tank.

    And I see you are suggesting a Chapter 13 for her -- but are you sure she would not pass the means test for a Chapter 7? If her house is new, meaning she has no real equity, and she doesn't actually own much of value -- she may qualify for a Chapter 7 and have this debt wiped out completely.


    • puppiesrock
      puppiesrock commented
      Editing a comment
      Great reasoning. Thank you. I will try with her one more time. I know her reaction because it was my own husbands reaction. Maybe she feels shame - doesn't understand it.
      but you raise all legit points here. thanks!

  • #3
    I don't know if she would qualify chap 7. She makes a decent income - she is just in over her head. They bought a new house 2 years ago, made bad $$ mistakes (one being clearing all the trees in her backyard for 20k as well as having no down payment for the house - but using her 401k for that). so i'm thinking this is why she's in bad as she is. I remember right after she bought her house she was talking about going on a very nice extravagant vacation with her hubby's family. i think they were enjoying the influx of extra cash she had from her 401k loan without thinking of the consequences down the line. her step daughter file for 7 and has bad credit. but i tried to explain to my sister that everyone's situation is different. she has no reliable form of income. that could be why she's never gotten better.


    • #4
      My husband makes what we consider "a decent income", as well. This comes down to what the median income is for a family of their size, in their state. Then the means test. Tell her to check out the means test calculator at legal consumer. It is not as accurate as speaking with an attorney -- but will give her a general idea of where they would stand (7 or 13) and can be done in the privacy of her own home. It costs nothing to look & costs nothing to speak with attorneys. No commitment to any of this until you spend money and start signing papers.


      • #5
        I sent her more info. I hope i am not annoying her since she's already told me yesterday she won't consider it until she can't pay her mortgage. Let's see how she responds...


        • #6
          Tell her that while BK may damage her credit rating, it will improve. The better her credit is at the time she files BK, the quicker it will improve later. Waiting until she can't pay her mortgage just delays the inevitable and will likely result in a more difficult recovery.

          Don't push too hard and allow for the possibility that she does have room to change habits and turn thinks around without BK. She is right that filing BK is a drastic solution and it is good she takes it seriously. But, just because it is a drastic solution doesn't make it a bad solution. If she can't make ends meet without using credit cards, she is bankrupt. Delaying drastic action doesn't help anything.

          I hope you send her a link to this thread and encourage her to register and ask questions, or at least read and learn a bit.
          LadyInTheRed is in the black!
          Filed Chap 13 April 2010. Discharged May 2015.
          $143,000 in debt discharged for $36,500, including attorneys fees. Money well spent!


          • #7
            She is dead set against it. Says she will wait until she can't pay her mortgage. She has actually stopped talking to me for a while, which was odd. I think she was tired of me talking about it...

            I am not sure why she wouldn't consider this...


            • #8
              You can provide her information but you can't live her life. Everyone has to come to this decision on their own. The one thing you hear more than anything on this site is I wish i had one it earlier. Giver her space and llet her make her own choices.
              Filed Chapter 13 - 07/20/12
              Discharged 8/2/16


              • #9
                This is true. And it's exactly how i feel now after all is said and done. I was thinking about it but never pulled the trigger until i was completely under water. I regret that so much.


                Unconfigured Ad Widget