how much do they check

[keepmine]

My hubby's companies only direct deposits. Should I go and mac out 100.00 every few days? I want a little nest egg. I am panicing because my neice is getting married and both of my kdis are going to be in the wedding. so i need money for gowns and tux etc. and then a good wedding gift. How will i do that> I do not want anybody in my family to know about the BK. How will my kids go to birthday parties? I feel like I am going to be poor.

Reality check time. You very likely will be poor. In a Chapter 13, all disposable income will go to unsecured creditors. You are going to be on a pretty strict budget. If you can't handle it, you're going to be in worse shape than your are now.
You are asking the same questions over and over. Have you not seen an attorney? Have you filled out schedules I and J and roughed out a disposable income?

No need to draw down bank accounts in a Chapter 13. That's one reason a 13 exists-to keep assets that would be seized in a Chapter 7. Honestly, schedule a few appointments with bk lawyers and get an idea of what sort of payments you're going to be looking at for the next 60 monts.

[itneverends]

My hubby's companies only direct deposits. Should I go and mac out 100.00 every few days? I want a little nest egg. I am panicing because my neice is getting married and both of my kdis are going to be in the wedding. so i need money for gowns and tux etc. and then a good wedding gift. How will i do that> I do not want anybody in my family to know about the BK. How will my kids go to birthday parties? I feel like I am going to be poor.

By signing up to give the Trustee all your disposal income, you will not be poor, but you are going to have to adjust your lifestyle. What you are struggling with right now is how do you go through BK and still maintain your current lifestyle. You need to come to terms with the fact that you are going to have to make adjustments or you will fail.

You need to give a wedding gift you can afford in your current situation instead of what you think is a "good" gift based on whatever dollar amount everyone else is spending. Same with your kids going to birthday parties, give what you can afford. Shop the toy clearances and by gifts ahead of time when you see a good deal and have one or two on hand. You can get a nice gift for $15. Anyone that would look down on you based on what you spent on a gift has bigger issues than you do, so you can't worry about it.

I would be willing to bet that worrying about what others thought and trying to keep up has a lot to do with you getting into your current situation (I know it did in my case). If you try and continue to do that during the course a 13, it is gong to be very difficult. When it comes down to all theses decisions, start with your budget and what you can afford, not with what you think will impress people.

You don't have to tell everyone about your situation, but on the other hand you can not pretend nothing has changed either.

And just as side note, when I suggested to my adult siblings that we stop buying Christmas presents for each other, and only buy for each others kids, they were probably happier than I was to stop.

[rrockinggramma]

amen. Lifestyle change is the key to success here, not still trying to keep up with everyone else.

[liz417]

Hi Suzy,

The previous posters had some good ideas, pay mortgage earlier, pay insurance primiums for the year, etc. Good idea on the cash out while grocery shopping Berrymom Our attoney advised us to pull $$ out slowly, buy a safe and keep a nice nest egg until we are ready to file (easier said than done for us!).

Good luck!

[Tromploi]

amen. Lifestyle change is the key to success here, not still trying to keep up with everyone else.

Thing is, "everyone else" is probably here too, or will be, or has been. Nothing is as it seems.

[rrockinggramma]

So true, but aren't you glad you have already made the decision. Sometimes that is the hardest part.

I bet you would be surprised how many of others in your own circle are in the same mess and just haven't faced the music yet. But it is coming. BK filings are up big numbers and will continue so for a while yet.

[laurannm]

Very well put, itneverends.

To the OP, key term is lifestyle change. If you know you have B-Day parties coming up or tuxes for a wedding or other one-time expenses, then you have to figure out in your budget how to come up with that money. Maybe you find a way to cut back on groceries that month or something along those lines. You may even find that whatever you come up with adjustments are something you can live permanently. Also too, I think most budget to allow a modest recreation expense.

I have never been in a Ch 13 so I can only base what I am saying on what I have read, but it seems like there the two keys to a successful Ch 13: having an experienced lawyer who knows how to put together a solid budget, and the debtor being able to adjust to their new lifestyle. You won't be living the lap of luxury, but it's not the end of the world either.

[Flamingo]

By signing up to give the Trustee all your disposal income, you will not be poor, but you are going to have to adjust your lifestyle. What you are struggling with right now is how do you go through BK and still maintain your current lifestyle. You need to come to terms with the fact that you are going to have to make adjustments or you will fail.

You need to give a wedding gift you can afford in your current situation instead of what you think is a "good" gift based on whatever dollar amount everyone else is spending. Same with your kids going to birthday parties, give what you can afford. Shop the toy clearances and by gifts ahead of time when you see a good deal and have one or two on hand. You can get a nice gift for $15. Anyone that would look down on you based on what you spent on a gift has bigger issues than you do, so you can't worry about it.

I would be willing to bet that worrying about what others thought and trying to keep up has a lot to do with you getting into your current situation (I know it did in my case). If you try and continue to do that during the course a 13, it is gong to be very difficult. When it comes down to all theses decisions, start with your budget and what you can afford, not with what you think will impress people.

You don't have to tell everyone about your situation, but on the other hand you can not pretend nothing has changed either.

And just as side note, when I suggested to my adult siblings that we stop buying Christmas presents for each other, and only buy for each others kids, they were probably happier than I was to stop.

Excellent posting ItNeverEnds...The questions are numerous before going into a Chapter 13...prior to filing, we either utilized credit cards constantly and never denied ourselves anything; then it all has to stop. The ones that can make the major lifestyle change and adjust to that will sucessfully complete their Chapter 13 plan; those who cannot adjust will not be successful, or maybe squeak by and get back into the same situation. A financial class should include a stint for everyone to go on a Chapter 13 plan for a few months as part of a class. While it would be only a short time compared to 3 to 5 years of an actual plan, it would be an eye opener just for those few months as to how you need to change your lifestyle and adjust to life without credit.

An old trick we were told about as to saving for gifts during a Chapter 13. Save your change in an old big bottle or container at the end of each day from your pocket or wallet. Don't touch it for anything. You'd be surprised as to what you can save each year for someone's birthday, wedding or Christmas presents. Saving $1.00 per day gives you $365 for Xmas. Family and friends will know you are in a financial bind and will not or should not expect anything from you. If your family is large just say that you decided this year with the high cost of everything to make it a policy not to give gifts and that you do not expect anything in return. Get personal - bake cookies or cakes or if you are telented in a craft, make a personal item for a gift. If you work in an office and get stuck with the Pollyanna situation, the Dollar Store can be your savior for putting together a nice basket of personal items or assist with items to make something personal. We created our own greeting cards on line adding personal photographs from times past with that family member or friend and they always turned out to be a hit and much more personal/satisfying over a generic regular storebought card.

Bankruptcy is a fresh start. While it gives those in Chapter 7 an immediate fresh start those in Chapter 7 don't have the years of payments and many get stuck back quickly in the credit trap. Chapter 13 is the best financial teacher in the world to show one where the mistakes occurred and how not to allow them to occur again. Most people surviving a successful Chapter 13 do not want to see a credit card again and if they do get one or two, are vigilant over those cards and as to what they purchase.

[berrymom31]

Thats what I do, like I said, I'll go to the store to get milk and if I need to pull money out I'll get 100 cash back...this looks like a grocery purchase on your bank statment...not on the receipt of course, but on the bank statement at least......groceries are getting expensive. You can even do cashback at aldi now, which is where I get most of my groceries. Even 50 here and there will put aside a nice nest egg for you in case of emergencies.

[bmrigs]

When you use your debit card at the grocery store get as much cash back as the store will allow...it's usually at least $100 or more. This will make your grocery bills look higher too and will allow you to pull cash out to save. This is what we have been doing. We bought a firebox and every time we can get cash back we do. Also, my checks are hand written because I am a contractor and I take them straight to the bank they are written from...get the cash and then only deposit the amount that I want shown on my bank statement. Either that or when you make a deposit, keep some out as cash. It's very easy to control and manipulate your bank statement.

I like your strategy

[MajorMike]

Ok, so they are not going to nit pick if there see 40.00 for pizza and then the next day or two 35.00 for burger place? Ok, i was going to start drawing out 100.00 - 400.00 every couple of days. Will that look fishy to them? How am I supose to only have alittle bit of money in my checking if i am not paying on the cards? SHoul i start drawing money out graually an if so how much? How much is acceptable in my checking?

How can you even afford to do that each day?
wow...