Can't stand people that don't understand personal bankruptcy...

[Clabbergirl]

It is a shame that people tend to be so unsympathetic about things they've never experienced. Self-righteousness abounds. I especially like Bling's scarlet letter analogy.

I have a friend who is young, still in her mid-twenties, who has been thrifty with her money and is quite ambitious in her earning potential. I casually mentioned my BK one evening and she was shocked - absolutely floored - that I was a) filing, and b) handling it so well. She acted as though I'd just been diagnosed with cancer or something. I laughingly told her there are worse things than bankruptcy, and with all seriousness, she said, 'What is worse than bankruptcy??'

Instead of getting angry, I considered the context from which she spoke, realizing her naivety. She is young and relatively inexperienced in life. She hasn't had many of the kicks and punches life can inflict, and sometimes when you're weakest. She and her husband have no children, they both have well-paying jobs, and she has wealthy parents with a good relationship toward her. She hasn't had 1/4 of the experiences I have - and this isn't her fault. Her ignorance, and her blessings, are evident in what she says, as is probably with most anyone who judges us. In general, we do the best we can. They are blessed to have not been in the same situations we've found ourselves, the sad part is that they don't realize it. If they are ever sitting where we are, or have, they will feel much different.

[espo1357]

One of those "holier than thou" people used to be in my life a couple of years ago. She worked as a bookkeeper for a couple of places. She was full of all kinds of advice, "You should take out a home equity loan to pay off your credit cards. Do whatever you can to preserve your 'good name' , etc."

Luckily I didn't listen. Then she found out from a family member that I filed BK and no longer speaks to me. What a small loss. disconapper, you are so right, some people just don't get it.

What a loser this woman must be, living in her own little world.

You didn't lose anyone good in your life here lily, just a moron that doesn't get it.

As for those of us in chapter 13, when we all get those discharge papers, we have actually accomplished something, because most people could not endure the stress and obligations that a chapter 13 requires.

And we will suceed, and hold our heads up high regardless of what the idiots in this fallen world will say.

[lillymarlene]

One of those "holier than thou" people used to be in my life a couple of years ago. She worked as a bookkeeper for a couple of places. She was full of all kinds of advice, "You should take out a home equity loan to pay off your credit cards. Do whatever you can to preserve your 'good name' , etc."

Luckily I didn't listen. Then she found out from a family member that I filed BK and no longer speaks to me. What a small loss. disconapper, you are so right, some people just don't get it.

[IamOld]

I agree. Hold your head up high. You have not done anything wrong. But, I agree I have never mentioned my bankruptcy to friends or family. I think it is like walking around with a scarlet letter on your chest if you tell the world. Best wishes.

BLING perfectly said, perfectly said.

Unfortunately, I don't see our numbers getting smaller....

[bling32]

I agree. Hold your head up high. You have not done anything wrong. But, I agree I have never mentioned my bankruptcy to friends or family. I think it is like walking around with a scarlet letter on your chest if you tell the world. Best wishes.

[frogger]

Just never forget that Karma is always lurking around the corner. And, she can be a real interesting lady.

[IamOld]

Exactly - these are the people who think everyone in life has "choices" and everything that happens to us is due to these "choices." Many folks don't really have "choices" - oh sure, don't get laid off right? This is simply a result of self-loathing, and it simply makes them feel better to hate those who are "worse" off then they are...frankly, a sign of a sociopathological personality.

[disconapper]

Thanks for the post espo13357. I couldn't agree with you more, the BK laws are in place for a reason and some people just don't get it.

[andy158]

I work with one such type that thinks bankruptcy is the easy way out for people that can't "manage" their money. He says he is tired of supporting the "losers" that file through hgher interest rates, higher prices, etc. He is triple dipping. (i.e. collects a full pension ffrom his last job, works full time now and collects social security). Never had any kids and has NO bills. He says he can't understand how anyone could let themselves get into the situation where they would have to file bk. Those people are stupid he says. You know the type. Never happy and always complaining. I cringe when I have to deal with this individual in the work place.

[espo1357]

you all know the type, they never have had too much bad luck (like buying a home that lost about 75 percent value in less than 2 years, never lost a job due to downsizing, no health problems, etc)...

well, when they hear of others filing for BK, they just go up in arms about how they (with their great work ethic and intelligence would never be in a position to file for personal bankruptcy) have to foot the bill for us "losers" that have to file for BK due to "life".

I just have to vent on this because I have been downsized 3 times in 10 years, despite being a dam good employee, and I lost about 75% of the value of my home, and to hear from "friends" that filing BK is bad, well, it frigging annoying...

But, when corporations do it, its ok, right?

I had a good friend, who is very intelligent and who I respect, say that there is a big difference between a personal bankruptcy and a corporate bankruptcy. And he was on the side that the personal BK is much worse! This guy is just out of touch with reality, as we see all the breaks our wonderful government gives these corporations (tax breaks), yet some major corporations have still filed.

And, don't forget the flipping bailouts that these corporations got from our tax dollars, its absolutely amazing and annoying has heck that people are that supportive of these companies that could care less about their employees and could care less about integrity.

I am so glad that there are intelligent people on this site that post and share their experiences, because you all validate my thoughts that I am NOT a "loser" because "life" happened to me...

Now I am a strong believer that you make your own luck in life...

but when "life" happens, you have to make adjustments, and I want to encourage all you "pull yourself by the boot straps" types, that when "life" happens, you either make the necessary adjustments and learn, or you are going to get buried with your "fuzzy" thinking...not only short term but long term, when your creditors are going to be up your butt looking for their money.

And another thing to consider is that the laws are changing to back up creditors (student loans not dischargeable for example), so do it now when you can (especially more so if you qualify for a chapter 7).

In short, if you have to file, then file. Do what is best for YOU, and F everybody else that LIES to you about the truth about BK. The truth is, is that BK is a powerful tool to get your life back on track, and don't ever forget that!

Sorry for the rant, but I am fed up with these type of people that have had all these breaks in life, and don't even know it.