Can't stand people that don't understand personal bankruptcy...

[Isobel]

There are so many people in the world that don't have compassion. No matter how much education, intelligence, or experience they may have, they lack an open mind and heart. They will judge you, no matter what. Let them go and make room for the ones that do.

[hopenpray]

Good posts. People who are down on bankruptcy are "drinking the kool-aid". While a lot of them are afluent, born with a silver spoon in their mouth, golden horseshoe up their a$$, etc., I know a lot of naysayers who are only denying the inevitable, living off of credit thinking that some miraculous windfall is coming their way and will get them out of the red. What they do not realize is that bankruptcy would save them if they would get off their high horse and accept their situation rather than looking a gift horse in the mouth. Sure, they may someday be able to pay off the enourmous mountain of debt they have gotten into if they are lucky enough to avoid life's pitfalls, but at what cost to them and their family? Five years and you are done at the most. Why spend 30 suffering, because of your ego?

[espo1357]

Probably a good time to drop in this video:

George Carlin

My favorite part is "its a big club, and you ain't in it"...

good stuff.

[addisonsmom]

Walt Disney, Mark Twain, Thomas Paine, Henry Ford, Milton Hershey, H. J. Heinz, Ulysses S. Grant, Abraham Lincoln, and Thomas Jefferson all filed Bankruptcy. I hardly believe any of these great men were losers. Like you said life happens. Just goes to show you be great after BK. Best of luck and don't listen to those haters.

[catleg]

Probably a good time to drop in this video:

George Carlin

[IamOld]

:-) Sounds like a nice atty!

I agree, catleg. I think if more people were really informed about BK, there would be more filing. Lots know about debt consolidation plans, and feel those are things irresponsible people do, but are forgivable on some level. But BK? Especially Chapter 7? That's a whole 'nuther category of desperate. Hah.

And to BKattyMI, I was pretty matter-of-fact about a 7 once I made the decision (and I reached that with the help of those on this board), but I admit sitting in my attorney's office looking at the line at the bottom of the page which showed the total of exactly how much money I owed...well...it brought me to tears. It's like the reality of every train wreck I'd crawled out of during the last year boomeranged back to me at that moment and I sat there with it, looking at the financial wreck my life had become as the cherry on top. The guy passed me a box of tissue along with an ink pen to sign, and said, 'It's ok, it happens almost every time.'

And it was probably the most cathartic tears I've ever shed.

[Clabbergirl]

I agree, catleg. I think if more people were really informed about BK, there would be more filing. Lots know about debt consolidation plans, and feel those are things irresponsible people do, but are forgivable on some level. But BK? Especially Chapter 7? That's a whole 'nuther category of desperate. Hah.

And to BKattyMI, I was pretty matter-of-fact about a 7 once I made the decision (and I reached that with the help of those on this board), but I admit sitting in my attorney's office looking at the line at the bottom of the page which showed the total of exactly how much money I owed...well...it brought me to tears. It's like the reality of every train wreck I'd crawled out of during the last year boomeranged back to me at that moment and I sat there with it, looking at the financial wreck my life had become as the cherry on top. The guy passed me a box of tissue along with an ink pen to sign, and said, 'It's ok, it happens almost every time.'

And it was probably the most cathartic tears I've ever shed.

[IamOld]

EXACTLY - they have no empathy of the rest of us - the 99% of us who actually have to work for a living!!!

Clabbergirl, You are so right.

A few years ago, my boyfriend and I attended a free seminar, for the alumni of my college, about how to start or succeed in your small business. I'm hard of hearing so Boyfriend sometimes acts as my ears. Afterwards he said, that I sure didn't miss anything, the last speaker was just somebody born with a silver spoon in his mouth. The speaker's parents had left him $250K and he just easily started up a little business. Boyfriend pointed out how things probably would have been different for me, if my father had of left me money, instead of dying heavily in debt, and (though I don't lay blame on anybody) encouraging me to grow my own debt mountain.

I think some people who are born wealthy, or who have been able to retain a nice "cushy" job all their life may never understand. They are able to just go through life in their "little plastic bubbles."

[IamOld]

Catleg, that's the same Calvinist (forgive me)/Puritan impulse that equates wealth with "Godliness" - and the same impulse that makes poor folks identify with the rich.

Can you imagine the horror if people actually knew what bankruptcy was? They'd have to change the law to make it even tougher, or bring back debtors prisons, or have DOE swat teams raiding houses at 6am, oh wait, they've done that last one :-)

[lillymarlene]

Clabbergirl, You are so right.

It is a shame that people tend to be so unsympathetic about things they've never experienced. Self-righteousness abounds.

A few years ago, my boyfriend and I attended a free seminar, for the alumni of my college, about how to start or succeed in your small business. I'm hard of hearing so Boyfriend sometimes acts as my ears. Afterwards he said, that I sure didn't miss anything, the last speaker was just somebody born with a silver spoon in his mouth. The speaker's parents had left him $250K and he just easily started up a little business. Boyfriend pointed out how things probably would have been different for me, if my father had of left me money, instead of dying heavily in debt, and (though I don't lay blame on anybody) encouraging me to grow my own debt mountain.

I think some people who are born wealthy, or who have been able to retain a nice "cushy" job all their life may never understand. They are able to just go through life in their "little plastic bubbles."

[catleg]

Can you imagine the horror if people actually knew what bankruptcy was? They'd have to change the law to make it even tougher, or bring back debtors prisons, or have DOE swat teams raiding houses at 6am, oh wait, they've done that last one :-)

[BKAttyMI]

Life happens. I meet with many people that are reduced to tears by the time they get to my office, it is a hard decision to make for many because of the stigma associated with it.

Many of the ignorant people you mention above really have no idea what bankruptcy actually is and means, the media does nothing to help this.

[IamOld]

I like teachers though :-)

[espo1357]

It is a shame that people tend to be so unsympathetic about things they've never experienced. Self-righteousness abounds. I especially like Bling's scarlet letter analogy.

I have a friend who is young, still in her mid-twenties, who has been thrifty with her money and is quite ambitious in her earning potential. I casually mentioned my BK one evening and she was shocked - absolutely floored - that I was a) filing, and b) handling it so well. She acted as though I'd just been diagnosed with cancer or something. I laughingly told her there are worse things than bankruptcy, and with all seriousness, she said, 'What is worse than bankruptcy??'

Instead of getting angry, I considered the context from which she spoke, realizing her naivety. She is young and relatively inexperienced in life. She hasn't had many of the kicks and punches life can inflict, and sometimes when you're weakest. She and her husband have no children, they both have well-paying jobs, and she has wealthy parents with a good relationship toward her. She hasn't had 1/4 of the experiences I have - and this isn't her fault. Her ignorance, and her blessings, are evident in what she says, as is probably with most anyone who judges us. In general, we do the best we can. They are blessed to have not been in the same situations we've found ourselves, the sad part is that they don't realize it. If they are ever sitting where we are, or have, they will feel much different.

she reminds me of a friend that I once joked with, telling her that "its your world Sara, and we are all just living in it"...boy, was Sara pissed off about that joke (because I was telling her the truth), because Sara was just was living a life with very little adversity, and couldn't grasp certain ideas that mature people could, imo.

these people living in their bubbles remind me of college kids that go to school to study teaching, because both of their parents were teachers...

well, when these college kids get their teaching degrees and hit the classroom at the ripe age of 22, they are ready to do what they have been groomed to do, teach. And they are generally very good at it by their school districts standards...the model teacher with their "good boy" stickers, and other "tricks" to get the students to do their work. Very effective at what they do, but very limited outside of that teaching environment.

In other words, these teachers couldn't possibly do another job with any effectiveness. They would be lost. They would be outside their little bubble that mommy and daddy and college had created for them.

these "types" tend to be the most unbalanced individuals that one would ever want to meet (my brother is a teacher and he confirms this truth) and are boring as heck. Worse, these youngsters go through life with the same mindset, year after year. And even at the age 88, they still haven't considered the world outside of teaching!

Back to the BK talk...I truly believe that filing for BK was one of the most responsible decisions that I have ever made! Only those of us that have filed, can probably fully understand this. The more I analyze my situation, the more I am convinced of this truth.

And for the "teachers" in this show (the "teachers" could be the financial advisors that say "never file" or it could be the guy with no adversity making good salary year after year, with total job stability, or the man born into massive wealth), you can all kiss my ass.

[IamOld]

Clabbergirl you hit this on the head: a) ignorance, and b) wealth - she comes from wealth, into wealth - simply does not understand the real world of real people.

It is a shame that people tend to be so unsympathetic about things they've never experienced. Self-righteousness abounds. I especially like Bling's scarlet letter analogy.

I have a friend who is young, still in her mid-twenties, who has been thrifty with her money and is quite ambitious in her earning potential. I casually mentioned my BK one evening and she was shocked - absolutely floored - that I was a) filing, and b) handling it so well. She acted as though I'd just been diagnosed with cancer or something. I laughingly told her there are worse things than bankruptcy, and with all seriousness, she said, 'What is worse than bankruptcy??'

Instead of getting angry, I considered the context from which she spoke, realizing her naivety. She is young and relatively inexperienced in life. She hasn't had many of the kicks and punches life can inflict, and sometimes when you're weakest. She and her husband have no children, they both have well-paying jobs, and she has wealthy parents with a good relationship toward her. She hasn't had 1/4 of the experiences I have - and this isn't her fault. Her ignorance, and her blessings, are evident in what she says, as is probably with most anyone who judges us. In general, we do the best we can. They are blessed to have not been in the same situations we've found ourselves, the sad part is that they don't realize it. If they are ever sitting where we are, or have, they will feel much different.