Wife in a mess

[outsidetool]

I had a ch 7 in 2008; wife refused to file with me, felt her credit and situation wasn't all that bad.

Now fast forward to the present: my finances are in good shape, 690 credit score, have a few cc's, but I live within my budget.

Wife, however, is in deep on cc debt of about $8k, nice car, about $4k of medical bills, and is in financial stress. I don't take in enough to help her out much.

As u can tell, we have our finances very separate. We do file taxes together the last two years.

The house is in her name only. She alone makes the payments. But she got behind a month last year and went her credit union to get a "modification." The mod was a 5-year refi with a giant balloon payment at the end. I just found out the terms today.... And it looks to me like the cu basically screwed her over.

She's talking filing now, a 13 or 7; but do any of you forum folks think there is AnY way she's able to save the house in a bk case?

[dmc-2008]

I think she can save it in a 13. You should talk to a bk lawyer too!

[tobee43]

where's the fun??

these "new" financial arrangements amaze me between spouses, although i understand times have changed. for some...not for me.


what's mine is MINE and what is HIS is MINE.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I just noted this marital situation. Admitting it is none of my business, but these two may as well not be married. His account, her account, here stuff, my stuff, etc.

What happened to OUR House, OUR financial problems, OUR car? When I married, I married for life. All my property belongs to my spouse, all her property belongs to me. We both call this arrangement "WE" as in "WE have a problem with OUR budget.

Only my opinion, no disrespect meant. 'Hub

Edit: If this situation existed with US I believe that a 13 would help them both but to file together, use both paychecks and combine both creditors. The payments would be less and both the husband and the wife could work it out in a 36 month 13. Again, my opinion.

[tobee43]

seems hub due to so many financial woes in the world even matrimony is viewed differently. shoot i should have come with a dowry. of course mine would have been filled with golden nuggets LOL!

[magic13]

I have to agree with the above posts. The wife is in "financial stress" but the husband is doing fine? Whatever happened to a happy wife means a happy life

[frogger]

I have to agree with the above posts. The wife is in "financial stress" but the husband is doing fine? Whatever happened to a happy wife means a happy life

If mama ain't happy, nobody is happy around my pad........

[pamkev]

where's the fun??

these "new" financial arrangements amaze me between spouses, although i understand times have changed. for some...not for me.


what's mine is MINE and what is HIS is MINE.

Yep same rule we live by in our house

[AngelinaCat]

I have gotten 'skunked' already on my opinion about this, but here goes one more try at getting people to understand this:

When 'Hub and I wanted to marry in my Church, we had to attend a pre-marriage counseling session that lasted a weekend. Every presenter was very good and focused on many aspects of the relationship.

But the overriding theme throughout the seminar, no matter what the seminar's title was, is this:

THE WAY THE COUPLE HANDLES MONEY, OR DOES NOT HANDLE IT, IS WHAT BREAKS THE MARRIAGE!!!!!

[outsidetool]

I have gotten 'skunked' already on my opinion about this, but here goes one more try at getting people to understand this:

When 'Hub and I wanted to marry in my Church, we had to attend a pre-marriage counseling session that lasted a weekend. Every presenter was very good and focused on many aspects of the relationship.

But the overriding theme throughout the seminar, no matter what the seminar's title was, is this:

THE WAY THE COUPLE HANDLES MONEY, OR DOES NOT HANDLE IT, IS WHAT BREAKS THE MARRIAGE!!!!!

Well, thanks, I guess, for the replies so far. Imteresting
That few replies actually dealt with the question of
My wife utilizing BK and holding the house, but rather
Comments reflecting our overall marriage/finance arrangement.
Yes, I know it is a little different, but, that's where we're
At!

[AngelinaCatHub]

Well, thanks, I guess, for the replies so far. Imteresting
That few replies actually dealt with the question of
My wife utilizing BK and holding the house, but rather
Comments reflecting our overall marriage/finance arrangement.
Yes, I know it is a little different, but, that's where we're
At!

Yes my friend, and you do have a valid point. I was probably the guilty one to get this thread off topic, and there is a saying "different strokes.........". Now, that being said, in all honesty, your situation is quite different for most who need a 'friend' to rely on in the normal stress of bankruptcy.

Not knowing where you come from in environment, nobody here was criticizing your reasons, only remarking about the remarkable difference in the "norm". Perhaps it is a generation difference of those who are aiding you. I still stand by my opinion that you would be better off in your BK as well as your marriage if you both leaned against each other for support. In fact it might even pay off in a better situation for both of you.

I guess I'm old fashioned but that is my take on your questions. 'Hub

[AngelinaCat]

Outsidetool,

No one can answer your questions at this time. There is very little information you have given us that we can work with.

Since you and your wife are very separate, and apparently non-communicative, about your financial matters, I suggest that you have her sign up for an account and ask questions.

With 8K of CC debt, and 4K of medical debt, filing BK at this time, may not be in her best interest. She will have to provide information about the house for any one of us to be able to advise.

In any case, if she DOES file, your income will have to be included in the paperwork, so at some point the two of you WILL end up discussing the finances whether you like it or not...

ETA: Dear Wife needs to schedule four or five free consultations with different BK attorneys--and not different people in the same law firm--but separate people, independent of each other.

Have her read through the various 'stickies' on board here and make up a list of questions to ask when interviewing prospective attorneys.

[keepsmiling]

If she got a 5 year refi, does that mean she was close to paying off the mortgage?
And that there is substantial equity?
I don't see how bk is the answer. It doesn't seem to me that a 13 would change the terms of the refi, and if there's too much equity a 7 will cause loss of the house.
Someone will correct me if I am wrong.
I do agree that she needs to come here and post herself. We ALWAYS recommend this for anyone posting for someone else.