New Pro Se Chapter 13 Filer with questions

[BKAttyMI]

My goodness, I've just read through this thread and you need both a bankruptcy attorney and a family law attorney IMMEDIATELY! Stop trying to fix this mess by yourself, if you'd hired an attorney in the first place for either of these issues, they wouldn't be issues! I am not in CA, but here in MI, it is common to accept filing fees only to file a Chapter 13 case for a debtor and then to collect attorney fees through the plan, I'm sure you could find an attorney in CA to do so. I regularly file cases with only filing fees and collect my fees as part of the Chapter 13 Plan, I also offer free consultations for both family law and bankruptcy. Please help yourself and get some real legal assistance as soon as you can, most attorneys offer free consultations.

[Dopey]

This case is your classic Catch 22. I can't hire an attorney because my wages are being garnished. Need an attorney to stop the garnishment.

I don't think I have a defense on the garnishment and yet everything they're collecting is going to interest and the principal is growing. Since Chapter 13 didn't work, I'm going to file a Chapter 7 out of my next garnished paycheck on the 26th instead of paying my rent. I'll write my landlord a letter and let them know. I'm going to file in Riverside again and take my chances with the judge who dismissed my case the same day I filed it.

Child support is the same problem. Everything goes to interest and the principal gets larger each month. I took today off to work on filing a modification in the family law case and also to review the BK filing paperwork. I'm seeking to stop the support since he's living with me, equitable forgiveness for the 5 years of arrears when he actually lived with me, and also a change of venue so I won't have to miss so much work. I'm going to take tomorrow off as well to file it and have her served which will be a challenge in it's self since she lives in a gated community and the family law court does not accept proof of service by mail.

The taxes will hopefully get worked out either in the BK or after with an Offer in Compromise. The child support will be more manageable if the fraud is dismissed. Hopefully everything will work out. If not then I'll just have to see about moving to another country without extradition so I can have my life back. Everything will work out one way or another. I hear good things about Iceland.

[BKAttyMI]

Please don't try to file again by yourself, hire an attorney to help you to make sure it is done properly so that you get a discharge. Save up and make payments until that attorney is paid off, it isn't worth the money, stress and hassle if you file again by yourself only to have it dismissed.

[Dopey]

I really appreciate the advice, but there is no way to save up. What's left of my wages doesn't even provide basic food and shelter. I figure I'll give the courts one last chance. If no luck, then I'll find another country.

I had a good friend I used to know real well. He was in a similar situation as me. He also had a cheating wife, went through a divorce and had his ass handed to him by the family law courts. He was ordered to pay more than he made. The DA's office went after him during the recession in 2008. To get him to pay they suspended his contractors license which put him out of business. Then they suspended his registration on his work truck so he couldn't renew his tags. They also suspended his driver's license so he couldn't even look for another job nor get a job in his field which was electrical work which requires a valid license. Then they went after his credit and dinged it making it impossible for him to do anything. At that point he was upside down on his mortgage and unemployed as well as unemployable. The only thing he had left was an old sail boat his father left him. So in 2009, he set sail literally looking for a better life. He wound up in Cancun. He was white and didn't speak a work of Spanish. He hung out on the beach and fished for his dinner. Then one day an American tourist asked him for a ride in his boat. He gave the tourist a ride and was paid for it. Now, 6 years later, he has 30 sailboats and lots of people working for him and he's doing very well. His son whom he had left behind due to the court orders is now living with him in Cancun and having a great time now that he's 18 and doesn't have to comply with what some mediator thinks is best for him.

I know this is getting pretty far off point. However, he asked me to go with him when he left and I said no. Had I gotten on that boat with him, I'd probably have a much happier life than I do now. The thing is he recognized an un winnable situation and got out of it.If he would have stayed here I honestly believe he would have committed suicide. His ex wife calls him a dead beat dad but his son just calls him dad.

There's a lot more to life than money. Let's face it, it's worthless. It's nothing more than a system. Fortunately I realize that and there is no way I'm going to let it ruin my life. Digging through dumpsters has brought me closer to the homeless culture living right here in my community. The funny thing about them is they're actually pretty happy go lucky. They each have a story. Some of them are addicts or deviates. But a lot of them are parents in the same boat I'm in. They got behind on their court ordered child support and couldn't catch up.

Life is too short to get caught up in some rat race trying to one up each other. When I was younger, I used to like money. But now, I honestly hate it. I've seen it ruin people and destroy families. I've seen people kill for it. And really, can we take it with us?

There's a really good documentary on Netflix called "Happy" It's really eye opening. I'm not saying we should all become hippies and start another back to the earth movement or become communists, or socialists. I'm just saying life is too short to be unhappy.

I'll be happy no matter what happens in the courts. My ex wife is not so happy. She's already attempted suicide, is on anti depressants, and is getting worse. She chose money over her family and she isn't happy. I'm flat broke eating out of dumpsters and I couldn't be happier. It's really not that complicated.

[Drazil65]

The Netflex show "Happy" was an great, eye opening show, amazing. Life is about keeping it simple, the more you minimize the happier you become, we live it everyday and continue to minimize and live well below our means on cash.

I am sorry you feel like you are in a place of no return and maybe you are. I hate that if you just walk away from everything your son will suffer the most I am afraid (unless of course he either goes with you when he is 18 and can leave the country of his own free will, he would probably love Cancun, don't we all!!!). I am sure you do not need to be told to leave the wife behind, from the sounds of it she is a big drain on you emotionally and financially, she will figure it out on her own. You are not responsible for any other adults happiness, she needs to make her own decisions and life at this point. You may want to forget the whole marriage thing in the future as your choices in women may be a big part of the problem, something to think about I guess.

Whatever you do try to base your decisions on what you can do with your life (this country or another) and not who is out to get you, being a constant victim will drag you down. You are nothing more than a victim of your decisions that go way back (children are the only real victims of their circumstances in life cause they have no say as children) so wipe the slate clean, adjust where you can, set the record straight with your son if you are leaving and make a solid, good decision after weighing the facts and move on.

Good Luck in Cancun or wherever you end up, hey Cancun is not a bad place to be!