So much anxiety. Scared. Depressed

[joshuagraham]

I've been labeled a loser for filing for BK.

I've had a few folks call me a "loser". I simply respond that I figured out how to use the bankruptcy laws to put myself about $135K forward financially (i.e., relative to my situation had I taken the advice of some of my creditors and cashed out my 401K/IRAs to be "honorable", and therefore consider myself to be a true winner, who fought by the system's rules and came out ahead. It seems that a certain high political candidate also feels himself to be winner by successfully navigating BK.

As for feelings of depression, I didn't have them, but I could see how some folks don't understand how nasty & brutish society is and thus feel a huge sense of unease upon it destroying their station in life. I was, however, anxious that the BK would not go through properly, and yes, once the 60 days after the 341 meeting had passed, I felt much happier.

[dgifta]

Leo. I'm sorry for the pain you're in.
It's easy to let your anxiety/worrying get the better of you.
It sounds like you've had a number of painful events happen recently, including losing a child at birth; did I read that right ?
Having a bankruptcy, on top of these other loses, is really a lot to deal with.
Can you think about the future instead of the past ? You need to grieve for the loses you've had, but it's important not to fall
into a depression. There's a difference between healthy grieving and depression. Depression is self blaming, grieving is just feeling
the loss without blaming yourself.
I filed for bankruptcy 3 1/2 years ago. I was very depressed and self blaming. I was really ashamed of my "failure".
Since then I've raised my credit rating to 740 (which is where it was before the BK), bought a house and have no mortgage, I live
within my means, and I now have a new beginning.
Try to focus on how to succeed rather than how you've failed. Learn from your mistakes, and move on with your life. You're going to be fine.
It sounds like you've done a lot of things right and well in the past.
Make a list of what you've succeeded at, focus on repeating those successes, think about how you can repeat them.
Make a list of your failures. Think of what you can learn from those supposed failures. Then burn that list but keep the things to be learned from it.
You're going to be fine. It's just going to be scary and maybe a little painful for just a little while, and then everything will be good again. It's clear you know how to succeed, you will succeed again.
Dennis

[LadyInTheRed]

LEOinblue, you haven't gotten on anybody's nerves. You are welcome to continue to post here and we are happy to give you information and moral support.

[LEOinblue]

Ok. I will probably just remove myself from page. I dont mean to get on anyone's nerves. I'll worry on my own. I posted in two different categories didn't realize it was wrong. Take care.

[LadyInTheRed]

LEOinblue, I combined your two identical threads. Please do not post the same things twice.

And please stop worrying!

[LadyInTheRed]

In the years I've been reading this board I have read hundreds of stories of people getting discharged without a peep from the US Trustee. Stop reading the horror stories. They aren't your story or the stories of the majority of BK cases.

[MD69107]

Hang in there. You are not by yourself. 6 years ago, I went thru the same thing........lost everything...........now.....6 years later........have a decent job.....just bought another house.....credit score is back up to 723............There is light at the end of the tunnel. You are not a failure........Bad things happen to good people.......Just put your head down, dig in, and keep trying to build back up.

[LEOinblue]

Nothing specific i am worried about. I've just read a lot of horror stories where the UST pops up at day 59 or 60 with no previous warning and extends or dismisses the case. That's my only worry. I have not heard from anyine but I guess i am just worrying because of what I have read.

[LadyInTheRed]

LEOinblue, is there something specific about your case that you are worried about that will cause the US Trustee to object? If your income is less than $25,000 per year in the 6 months before you filed (or even in half of those months), then you are well below median in your state. So, that eliminates one big area for objection. If you are just worrying without any real issue in your case, stop worrying. The US Trustee doesn't object for the fun of it. If there is something specific you are worried about, tell us about it and maybe we can address that.

[PANSYFACE]

Unless there is something really strange about your case, which is already declared no asset, I highly doubt that the UST will suddenly object. I have been somewhat in your shoes, lost my career,became deeply depressed for a couple of years, almost did the suicide thing, The friends I lost were not true friends, so good riddance. My spouse was a rock in a really bad time, thank God. It will all be over soon. Please try to relax and think positively. You can and will begin again. I did and so did everybody on this board. Best of luck and HANG IN THERE !

[justbroke]

LEOinblue please don't worry about this as it will pass. Many people worry unnecessarily between the 341 Meeting and the actual discharge. Over 99% of the time, the worry is unnecessary. Typically the UST would have already given you some clue if they were "interested" in the case (such as showing up at your 341 Meeting and/or asking for documentation).

True friends would not label you a loser and would be there for you no matter what you did. That's called unconditional friendship. My brother and father were police officers and I have lots of law enforcement friends. Even some of my friends have gone through very similar issues in their family of law enforcement officers. I hope you can put this all behind you and get that "fresh start" once this bankruptcy is completed.

Best wishes and thank you for your past service to the community.

[LEOinblue]

Thank you my friend. Until last year I loved a great life. I had the perfect job, great retirement plan, great friends, great family. I had a 780 credit core before losing my job. I lost my baby at birth, my wife, my job, my friends and then my great credit. I've been labeled a loser for filing for BK. Earlier this year i was so depressed i just wanted to leave this world tobsee my baby and parents in heaven. I failed at that. Then I decided I was going to fix my life. I filed for BK. However, i worry constantly. Just trying to understand things.

[LEOinblue]

I'm more concerned with the UST objecting. I am not worried about creditors. I am only worried because I have read a lot of messages where the UST tends to wait until day 60 to object or extend with no previous warning to filer as to there being issues.

[Oscarmike]

I don't have any advice on bankruptcy but hang in there and start your life over. Right the mistakes you can and learn from them. The good news is the only way to go from here is up! Life is worth living. Be strong.

[LEOinblue]

I made an error, it was June 6th. I filed on May 5th.