Forced to go bankrupt

[Angie]

Hello. I'm new and I trusted my husband by making him authorized user on some of my credit cards. HUGE MISTAKE.

Skipping details {which I can provide later}, he maxed out my cards to the point that I cannot re-pay them. He hid every bill from me and made all his transactions via web and phone.

I have tried to get information about making him liable for all the charges he solely made, but I'm not getting anywhere.

I went to see a bankruptcy lawyer and he said that if I listed him a co-applicant, that the companies would go after him. Is this so?

I have since asked the companies for detailed bills and have received the horrible charges he had made w/o my knowledge, some even have his name of them.

We are getting divorced and this debt is being viewed as "ours" and it just seems unfair that after he did this, he can simply get away with it.

Do you think it's correct that I file bankruptcy or is there anything I can do to prove that he is the one responsible for this. I have never had bad credit until now and my own personal cards have NEVER been late. Honest.

Please reserve your ill comments about how stupid I was not to check my credit b/c I've heard enough of those. I honestly didn't feel I needed to do anything b/c I trusted this man wholeheartedly and he screwed me... bad!

Lesson to you all: CHECK your credit report anyway... whether you trust your spouse or not.

Thank you if you've read this far.

Angie

[justplaintired]

Well that does suck totally. Being married to someone it's natural you would have trusted him. I guess you can count this as a lesson learned. Far as getting him to be solely responsible for this, I seriously doubt it. If he's a deadbeat, even if you can get him to take these and pay them, seriously do you think he would? I doubt seriously you have any way to get your name removed.

I had an acct with my ex-DH which he borrowed and blew on his girlfriend while we were married and guess who they came after when he quit paying? ME. So if I had known what I know now, I would have filed, instead I dealt with years of harassment from this loan co. and even made some payments to keep them off my back. I almost got garnished because of this. Anyway, BK would eliminate this debt for you and you could get a fresh start and be away from him quicker. It would be kind of funny if you could get his name on this acct somehow and then file, he'd be stuck paying them then. Evil I know but kind of funny in a way!

[millerc507]

More than likely, if he was just an authorized user, they won't go after him. If he is a co-applicant that could be a different issue. Your best bet is probably to file--assuming you qualify.

[almost]

That sucks, that happened to me in the 80's with a girl, I had now idea until the creditors started to call. I had to get a lone from a friend to pay off the cards. Now it's my own debt. too mush to get a lone so BK it is.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Angie, if he's an authorized user, he's not legally responsible no matter which way you slice it, even though he ran them up without your consent or knowledge. Your consent was implied when you authorized him to use the cards. If any accounts were applied for jointly, then yes, creditors will go after him when you file bk, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here: most if not all of this was done with him as authorized user if I'm reading you right.

I think bk might be a very good option for you, but do yourself a favor and talk to more than one atty (most consults are free) before you decide. You will also want to ask specifically about how to time your bk in regard to your divorce, and start gathering your documentation (tax returns, pay stubs, etc.)

Also be proactive about getting complete statements from the credit card companies, because you REALLY need to know what he charged and when. This is VERY important. Do it now, while you're still on speaking terms with the credit card companies. Get at least the last six months worth of transactions, if not the full year. Also clarify, if necessary, which accts are held jointly and which are held in your name with him as authorized user.

Close those credit card accounts completely. Anything he had access to and ran up, close. The sad fact is that once you add someone as an authorized user on an acct, even if you have them taken off it's kind of dicey because of that whole implied consent thing. I would not put it past him to try to social engineer a new card out of the credit card companies, even have his girlfriend call in and impersonate you to get added back on (I'm assuming he knows all your info, like DOB, SSN, etc.) so go ahead and just close the accts. Bankruptcy will colse the accts anyway, but if you have to wait to file -- even just a few weeks -- go ahead and close them. It will also help your filing to show that you closed them as soon as you knew that you couldn't pay them.

Also change the password on each account to something else entirely. If they want mother's maiden name, keep in mind that that is still just a password: my mother's maiden name for credit purposes is someone she never even met. I mean, pick a city in Europe that you've never been to, or a character in a show you never watch, something completely unrelated to you. You don't want to leave any possibility that he could have his gf call in as you and *reopen* the accts you just closed.

Also, if you still live in the same town as this guy, and he was all about getting to the mail before you did and hiding your bills, etc. then a mailbox rental would be a VERY good investment for you right now. You can't afford to trust that he is not still hiding debts from you, and that there are still bills and creditors you don't know about. Get a mailbox and change every single creditor to go to that new address.

You also need to pull your credit report, and make sure you know what's in it: if he's run up your credit cards, there's every chance he applied for credit in your name that you still don't know about right now. Find out.

I know that everything I just suggested is going to hurt like hell, but you have to find out the worst of it, the whole picture, before you can file bankruptcy because you don't want to leave any debts off your petition. Even if you don't file bk, you still have to plug up any credit holes you may not know about, and the only way you can do that is by being courageous and looking at *everything*.

If there is ANY chance he can still rack up ANY debt in your name, if there are ANY jointly held accts he could possibly use or reopen, I would wait on bk. I would also carefully consider the dates and nature of any charges he made, because there are bk rules regarding the time that has to elapse from the dates of cash advances or luxury purchases. Make sure you mention the nature of his charges and their dates to the attys you consult with, because they may well tell you to wait to file bk.

It may not seem fair to you that you would have to wait bcz of what someone else did to you, but bankruptcy law sees it as YOUR debt when you file, so you have to file just as if YOU incurred the charges. If you were to file right away, even if he made cash advances or obvious luxury purchases within the last few months, it is quite possible that your creditors could file successful objections and you would end up having to pay these debts anyway. So make sure that you ask the attys about how long you may have to wait, and be prepared to tell them if your ex made any cash advances or luxury purchases, and when they took place.

As unfortunate as this is, I think you should also be prepared to live credit-free for a while and make whatever changes you need to make in your own spending habits in order to ensure that during and after filing, you don't run into new financial crises. This is not a judgement on my part, and I know it is very unfair, but once you file bankruptcy (or get into a position where it's feasible, like you are now) your options are very limited, and it no longer matters who did what: unfortunately the mess is all yours to clean up. Make sure that you are fully informed so that the cleanup is as painless as possible, and you are well positioned to rebuild your credit in due time. No matter what hubby did, this part is all on you, so don't resent it. See it as an opportunity to make some necessary changes and reclaim your financial and emotional well-being.

Good luck!!! Be wise in your decisions, get all the info you can, and I wish you well.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Ooops! I just re-read your original post to make sure I addressed everything, and you already got your credit report. Sorry 'bout that. Good luck!!!

[southernbelle]

Sorry to hear about your situation with your ex, I can relate because I am in a similar situation. I'm filing bankruptcy because I had a business and my (thank God) recently divorced ex. was supposed to help me run things. Long story short, he stole, didn't pay taxes, charged up all kinds of stuff on my business debit card, took out loans in the business name without my knowledge, you name it, he did it.

Like you said, you just trust these men to do the right thing because you said vows that should have meant something, but I found out the hard way you can't just blindly trust anyone.

First, the money he stole can't be traced and even if it could, I'd have to prove it then sue him. I'm broke so that's out.

Second, the taxes he didn't pay has caused me to have several liens on my house and the local taxing authority as well as the IRS threatening me. I'm hoping to deal with them after the BK is discharged (hopefully).

Third, he can't be held legally liable for the money he charged up on the debit card because it was all in my name so I'm stuck. The bank didn't call him once even though we were married when it all happened, and even though lots of the charges were for stuff in his name. They called me (not him) and when I explained the situation, they didn't seem to care one bit. There was even a loan he took out without my knowledge in the business name and the guy had the @@lls to call and start harassing me. He's even contacted a lawyer to send me nasty letters threatening to sue.

Anyway, everything he did has fallen into my lap and I now have to deal with it the best way I can. I'm sick and tired of not answering my telephone, being scared to deal with creditors on the phone while at work because I need my job and not being able to sleep at night. I'm filing bankruptcy because I can't take it anymore. The stress is killing me.

Angie, take it from me, before I got involved with my ex, my credit score was about 740. I am now afraid to find out what it is because of late payments, liens and you name it. I agree with you when you said, check your credit report anyway whether you trust your spouse or not. I trusted mine and look where I am. I know not everyone is evil and that's just the way I was raised, but hindsight is always 20/20. This was a BIG wakeup call.

I don't know how much money we're talking about in your case, but if you have to file BK, do what I did. Come to the realization that if you can't get them to find him liable, consider your alternatives and if BK is one of them, do it. When the divorce is final, just forget him. People like him usually get theirs in the end. I know mine will.

[southernbelle]

Oh, one last thing. If the account is still active, CLOSE IT NOW!!!! My ex was still using mine until I closed it and I had to pay for those charges as well.

Talk to some atty's before you decide. The initial consultations are free and you will probably have to meet with a few of them because some really know their stuff and others just don't want to work too hard. They will help you to figure it out. Just lay it all out for them.

This is the best place in the world for great advice and moral support. I wouldn't have been able to get this far without these guys. They are the best. Keep coming here, it'll get better.

[Flamingo]

Your hubby either has a shopping addiction or ran up all that stuff on purpose to get you. I don't know what state you live in but get yourself a good divorce attorney and make him responsible for half of that debt. If you file BK the BK will show up on his credit report as him being an authorized user on an account on which another filed BK for whatever accounts he had authorization to use. There is a large class action out there right now concerning that by people who are authorized users on accounts and having BK show up on their credit reports even though they didn't file BK. I don't think that class action has been settled as of this moment so there is a good chance the BK will hit his credit reports making things even harder for him. He deserves it.

File, regroup, recover and reorganize and there are better guys out there, believe me. Best of luck to you.

[Angie]

Wow. Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I'm so glad I posted here and to see that I'm not the only one in this predicament. In a way, I feel so 'alone' in this and it's so hard not to beat myself up for being so stupid.

To address some of what you've all suggested... yes, once I learned he had done this, I pulled my credit report and found all the cards with unknown balances and I called them and asked for the statements dating back two years.

As one of you said, it is clear he did this on purpose. He met some one with great credit and took everything from these cards. The debt exceeds $50K and he also took all cash advances and transactions called "check to cash".

He literally LIVED on "MY" cards... gas, food, barber shop, clothes, medicine, even presents for ME. LOL. Oh man, there HAS to be a God up there...

I'm so sorry you are all going through this as well and trust me, I know the feeling.

Thank you all for your advice, and yes, I will consult other attorneys as well, but if you don't mind, since you are all so great... I have a few more questions... and please note that this is all very new to me. I know nothing about debt b/c I have always paid my bills on time.

If I have removed him as "authorized user", will it still account if I try to make him liable for this debt during our divorce?

There are a few transactions which have his name on them. For example, on my American Express card, it states, "Activity for A**hole" and then for myself. His has all the things HE did. On another card, there is a "transfer balance made by A**hole". Would I be able to get him on those?

How about if I call the credit card company and give them his information so they can contact HIM for the transactions which are clearly his?

Lastly, what about my own personal cards which I pay on time? If I file BK, would I lose them too? Can I call the company and explain what has happened so that I can keep my cards?

I personally feel embarrassed about telling these companies who trusted me that now, I cannot pay them. Man this sucks. I truly am not like this and it kills me to know that these companies will get a note saying, "I took your money and I can't pay you back."

I know he will get his... I just hope it's soon. He's also asking for spousal support b/c I make more money than he does. What a loser. Ok, I'll stop now.

Thank you so much for taking the time to help me. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.

Angie

[Angie]

OH, and FreshLD, you are so right. Once I ran my credit, I discovered two cards that I know for a fact I haven't applied for. I sent their fraud departments letters to find out when they were opened and how. I pray I get an application with my 'false' signature on it. That will really make my day.

Thanks again all for taking the time to reply to me.

Angie

[justplaintired]

Your hubby either has a shopping addiction or ran up all that stuff on purpose to get you. I don't know what state you live in but get yourself a good divorce attorney and make him responsible for half of that debt. If you file BK the BK will show up on his credit report as him being an authorized user on an account on which another filed BK for whatever accounts he had authorization to use. There is a large class action out there right now concerning that by people who are authorized users on accounts and having BK show up on their credit reports even though they didn't file BK. I don't think that class action has been settled as of this moment so there is a good chance the BK will hit his credit reports making things even harder for him. He deserves it.

File, regroup, recover and reorganize and there are better guys out there, believe me. Best of luck to you.

My ex was ordered to pay certain debts in our divorce. When he didn't they came after me. I was told it didn't matter what the divorce papers said my name was on the loan so I was still responsible. My only course of action was to take him to court to get him for contempt. Well, I didn't have money for a lawyer, nor money to pay the debts. So I couldn't do anything. The creditor pursued me for years. My ex they claimed they couldn't find. I gave them his address, it didn't matter they still came after me, they actually made my life a living hell. Finally they did garnish his wages, but that literally took years.

So making your ex responsible for half the debt is no guarantee he will actually pay. If he was creepy enough to run all this debt up without any regard for you while you're married do you think he will all of sudden do the right thing and pay these bills? And since they are in your name, they will come after you plain and simple. They will hound you, garnish your wages, whatever the law will allow to collect this money.

BK will end any chance of them coming after you, no matter what the divorce papers say. Now far as cc going after him, do you really care? He made this mess, and if it's legal for the cc do go after him as an authorized user, then so be it.

[justplaintired]

Wow. Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I'm so glad I posted here and to see that I'm not the only one in this predicament. In a way, I feel so 'alone' in this and it's so hard not to beat myself up for being so stupid.

To address some of what you've all suggested... yes, once I learned he had done this, I pulled my credit report and found all the cards with unknown balances and I called them and asked for the statements dating back two years.

As one of you said, it is clear he did this on purpose. He met some one with great credit and took everything from these cards. The debt exceeds $50K and he also took all cash advances and transactions called "check to cash".

He literally LIVED on "MY" cards... gas, food, barber shop, clothes, medicine, even presents for ME. LOL. Oh man, there HAS to be a God up there...

I'm so sorry you are all going through this as well and trust me, I know the feeling.

Thank you all for your advice, and yes, I will consult other attorneys as well, but if you don't mind, since you are all so great... I have a few more questions... and please note that this is all very new to me. I know nothing about debt b/c I have always paid my bills on time.

If I have removed him as "authorized user", will it still account if I try to make him liable for this debt during our divorce?

There are a few transactions which have his name on them. For example, on my American Express card, it states, "Activity for A**hole" and then for myself. His has all the things HE did. On another card, there is a "transfer balance made by A**hole". Would I be able to get him on those?

How about if I call the credit card company and give them his information so they can contact HIM for the transactions which are clearly his?

Lastly, what about my own personal cards which I pay on time? If I file BK, would I lose them too? Can I call the company and explain what has happened so that I can keep my cards?

I personally feel embarrassed about telling these companies who trusted me that now, I cannot pay them. Man this sucks. I truly am not like this and it kills me to know that these companies will get a note saying, "I took your money and I can't pay you back."

I know he will get his... I just hope it's soon. He's also asking for spousal support b/c I make more money than he does. What a loser. Ok, I'll stop now.

Thank you so much for taking the time to help me. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.

Angie

This guy just sounds like a real creep. Don't feel bad, you didn't do this he did. You can't afford to pay back his debt and that's what you would be doing. Spousal support? I hope they rule against him on that. Maybe your lawyer can fight that one with the cc debt he ran up as proof of what a creep he is. Anyway, good luck, it will all work itself out!

[Flamingo]

Angie, you don't state how long you were married but what you stated above (as to using you for your good credit), did you ever do a background search on him to see if he ever did anything like this before with other women? There are some slick con guys out there who do this stuff and move on to the next woman, or have multiple wives. Not that you need anymore stress to worry about but if you couldn't trust hiim with credit cards during a marriage, what else could he/can he be up to? He drained you and will probably move on to the next victim. Protect yourself....get a good divorce lawyer, bring all this up, see if he forged your signature on anything and have him checked out....looks like there is more to this than meets the eye and I believe you suspect it or suspected it prevoiusly.

[Angie]

I was married for 5 yrs & knew him 2 yrs prior to that. You make great points Flamingo. I have thought about the same thing and I wish I would have done a background check on him, but who would have known? I mean, who does that?

"Oh, you wanna marry me? Hold on for two weeks while I do a background check on you to make sure you are not going to take my credit cards when they come in the mail and activate them and create an online acct so you I won't get statements and find out what you are really doing."

I do assure you that he will probably get some other sucker and TRY it on her. LOL... I say "try" b/c every chick I see near him, I will warn.

As far as the lawyer, that's a tough one too. I mean, how do you know who is a "good" one or not? Before appearing in court, everyone in my family kept telling me not to worry b/c no judge was going to approve what he did. Well, the debt wasn't even mentioned... actually, the judge said, "yes, I see so many people charging more than what they can afford to pay, so that's not new."

He made it sound like the debt belonged to both of us. Sick... just sick b/c I swear I had no idea.

I'm online reading and trying to find out as much as I can. I cannot believe how this "authorized user" crap works. They are not held responsible AT ALL for what they do. Man, some laws have to change.

So, anyone have answers to my 'good credit cards'? Can I keep them?

Thanks again for the replies...

Angie