just starting and scared to death

[mymare]

Hello,
I have never felt more helpless (sound familiar?) My husband has taken care of me and all expenses (I have worked - became a realtor as the bottom fell out) now that our assets are gone with the stock market ( a fact I didn't know until our money was gone!) I must face this harsh reality. I am most worried about getting a "job" (which may not be that simple since I'm not in my 40's) Though I wish I could disappear I have to muster strength I once possessed when I was young. I know this may sound silly - but I have jewelry inherited from grandmother and intended for my daughter. What to do? Should I give to her for mother's day? I don't want to do anything illegal, but these simple pieces have been in family looooong time. Also I have a dining room suite from my aunt? Other than that I just don't care and want to crawl in a hole - but I won't and with the help of this forum I plan to come out on the other side of this nightmare. Thanks very much for any advice! Oh - how do you find a "good" bk attorney?

[OhioFiler]

I would suggest you take a deep breath first. There are estimates of as many as 1.8 million BK filers this year. You are not alone. Worrying yourself to death will not help.

You need to interview several attorneys in your area before you settle on one to retain. After a few interviews you'll know who you feel most comfortable working with.

Those items you list may well have much more sentimental value than asset value in BK. Don't worry about losing them just yet.

Over 40 is not a disqualification to getting a job. Be positive and knock them out at an interview and your age is not even noticed.

You'll make it.

[queenfluff]

Don't worry, you are in good company here. We are all going through this.

Being over 40 should not be a factor in getting a job! (it better not be because I will be 40 in a few months! ) I have talked with a lot people who are hiring managers and they say they like to hire older persons because they are often more reliable and have stronger work ethics. I guess maybe those managers have had some younger people bail on them that were not so reliable. So, don't worry, if you are good worker you will get something eventually. The economy is really bad right now - people with PHd's are working at Pizza Hut! So don't feel bad.

Right now, my entire life is on hold during the bankruptcy process. I can't have my income increase at all. I am unemployed (and highly qualified to do many careers) but I have to wait until this whole thing is over to get a job. So, I can do nothing else but play the waiting game. It is quite strange. Of course, in a way, what does it matter - there are no jobs right now anyhow, right?

Bankruptcy cases are skyrocketing right now so don't feel bad. You can only do so much and you just got to do what you need to do. There are so many things alot of us can't control right now so isn't all our faults.

I think the hardest part is deciding to do this. I spent many sleepless nights crying myself to sleep thinking "I can't believe it has come to this". I like to be control of things and I can't be in control right now and I hate that. I am not used to failing.

But just taking the first step in doing this makes me feel in control of something. Have you talked to a lawyer yet? The lawyers are on our side right now so you will feel better once you talk to one.

If you need recommendations for a lawyer, you might want to mention what state (or city) you live in. People on here might have suggestion for you. I would happily recommend the lawyer I have right now to any one who lived in my area. Even those my case isn't done at all - things are going very well so far.

I found mine through a friend of my bf's. So far, I am happy with my choice.

For your jewelry, I would talk to a lawyer but it sounds like it has a lot of sentimental value for you and you would like to keep it in the family. I wouldn't see any reason why you could not just gift it to your daughter early. You have to be cautious with the timing of it though - right now BK is all about timing. Are you worried because it is worth alot?

[AngelinaCatHub]

Queenfluf and Ohio filer is right. The hardest part of any journey, is the first step. You have made that by accepting the decision to bk.

Old jewelry is just that, junk jewelry. No one will wish to appraise it. Same with old furnature. That is what it is.

You will find the process is very easy. If it were meant for your children, it was never ever given to you anyway. You were just custodian of the items. Give it to them now and have no conscience about it.

Stop worrying. We lost millions and are still happy people. We did what we wanted and as you, I was amazed at what happened to us. So it goes, first your money, then your clothes. Get over it, and enjoy the ride. It gets better and you will learn a lot and become free er. 'Hub

[ready2puke]

I really wish I could know you Hub and your honey in real life...I think your the best kind of humans...

[OhioFiler]

I really wish I could know you Hub and your honey in real life...I think your the best kind of humans...

Aw geez...are you going to get all mushy here?

[Kkole425]

I really wish I could know you Hub and your honey in real life...I think your the best kind of humans...

I agree Hub you seem like the kinda person I want on my side and be my friend. You always see the sunny side and make people feel better with you wisdom. (in life more so than in bk)

[mymare]

Thanks to all of you. When we lost everything in the stock market I looked at my husband and said "well, we are about to embark on another adventure". I am a gutsy woman and don't quite understand why I feel like a deer in headlights. This too shall pass. I live in Virginia near Roanoke if anyone has attorney suggestions. Yes, my concern about the jewelry is whether to give it to her now and how would that appear. I play by the rules, a little ocd there. Well that's good I guess when running down this road. Thank you again for just being there!!! Take care

[fltoo]

List your jewelery on the BK forms as costume with a value of 50-100 bucks.
That's really what it is if you say they are humble pieces.

The problem with giving it away now is............
You cannot give an asset away before filing for BK even if it is innocent.

If you are the type of person who is really nervous about something that has even the hint of not being done properly, then you are going to be nervous at your 341 meeting where they ask if you gave anything away. (even if it is a 50. piece of old jewelery). So, I would recommend that you wait until after your 341 meeting to give it to your daughter, just so you have a clear head and are not nervous.

If you truly believe it has only sentimental worth, give it now and put it out of your mind.

Another option, exempt it as the value of costume jewelery and give it now.

[mymare]

Please forgive me - when I said "simple" I implied more than I intended to. These pieces are very valuable. Well, what will be will be. Thanks to everyone - I'll be back soon to vent or ask questions!

[Recessionist]

Many people overvalue their assets. Keep in mind, in most places, you get to claim yard sale value for such items. And in our current economy, even that value has gone down.

[roozterdvx]

If there is no way to trace the jewelry to you, other than your word, you could give it to your daughter and never mention it to your lawyer, never list it in your petition, never mention it to the trustee.

Of course you have to understand that you will be filing a petition and answering questions under oath so I am not saying that you should "lie".


Just an option...

[LuciluS]

I inherited two old matching pieces of Diamond Jewelry. My dad (retired as a Jeweler) said he paid about $11,000 for the two pieces about 30 yrs. ago.

I went to Ebay and found the Exact same ring listed for $389. It was listed under Antique Diamond Ring. Printed the page for backup if Trustee asks. Will list the necklace for $100 more.

Inherited a lot of old furniture, china & canister sets. I found all the pieces either at Ebay, Craigslist (with a picture) or using Google. It was disheartening to see the prices, but Economy is not so great.

Luci

[mymare]

Thank you SO MUCH, that is exactly the information I needed. Now, to find a good lawyer!

[Bankruptcy20]

I'm curious on this thread of jewelry... I cannot see the trustee (outside of having a raid done on your home) find out what things are actually in your home.

Outside of lying (which is a big issue, which we all know is a big no-no), has anyone run into a real experience of when a trustee tracked down purchase receipts and then asked, "geez, what happened to this or that jewelry or whatever that you bought 20 years ago???"

I'm not recommending lying, but I was just curious as to any experiences out there, if you something was overlooked on your asset listing.