People who went through bankruptcy

[debtmonster]

Wow... I NEVER thought I'd ever hear of Dave Ramsey telling anyone to go bankrupt. That's a first. Times must be really, really bad for this.

[bkmaggster]

As a 'newbie' I have to let 'Hub and some of the other senior members know how much I appreciate this forum and their information. It has made my journey so much easier and has helped me prepare. Unfortunately, I can't talk to many friends or family about it, as most others here can probably relate. You're still a bit of a pariah for filing BK in today's society.

Yeah, I told my best friend and she told me that "most people who file for bankruptcy planned it out and are committing fraud."

Really? Really?

sigh.

[debtmonster]

Yeah, I told my best friend and she told me that "most people who file for bankruptcy planned it out and are committing fraud."

Really? Really?

sigh.

Yep! I planned on spending $40,000 on my house and racking up a $40,000 dollar hospital bill so that way I could just say, "Pooooof" and lose everything I put into the house and what not because I wanted to do fraud. Yep... Back in 2005 I was thinking, "Hey... I'll just spend a lot of my hard earned money on a place and then file for bankruptcy so I can trash my credit for fun." Yeah... that's the ticket.

[backtoschool]

Yeah, I told my best friend and she told me that "most people who file for bankruptcy planned it out and are committing fraud."

Really? Really?

sigh.

What's really interesting to me is that for the first time in years, I CAN be honest about my finances, since so many people are in the same boat. During the boom times, especially in high-flying nyc, it was not socially acceptable to talk negatively about finances. (It was ok to brag and posture about having money though... )

I have been totally honest to my family and my friends about filing for bankruptcy and abandoning my career for a new one, and no one has judged me. In fact, they all sympathize and some are even asking for info and referrals for themselves.

I thought EVERYONE would judge me, and it was very hard for me to admit I was insolvent so the acceptance has been a huge relief.

Also, I LOVE this board! It's great to have people to talk to about the nitty gritty aspects of bankruptcy.

[bkmaggster]

What's really interesting to me is that for the first time in years, I CAN be honest about my finances, since so many people are in the same boat. During the boom times, especially in high-flying nyc, it was not socially acceptable to talk negatively about finances. (It was ok to brag and posture about having money though... )

I have been totally honest to my family and my friends about filing for bankruptcy and abandoning my career for a new one, and no one has judged me. In fact, they all sympathize and some are even asking for info and referrals for themselves.

I thought EVERYONE would judge me, and it was very hard for me to admit I was insolvent so the acceptance has been a huge relief.

Also, I LOVE this board! It's great to have people to talk to about the nitty gritty aspects of bankruptcy.

You are lucky. I don't think this is the common reaction.

[backtoschool]

You are lucky. I don't think this is the common reaction.

Well, I live in Michigan now, where bankruptcy is becoming very common. Maybe that is the difference.... In nyc I think the reaction would have been more negative.

[debtmonster]

You are lucky. I don't think this is the common reaction.

People need to make it a common reaction. If you find somebody who doesn't, you need to get people to scold them.

[backtoschool]

I've decided I am not going to be ashamed of filing for bankruptcy. It's all part of a major life overhaul, and it's bringing me much needed peace.

Maybe someday I will be able to help someone else who is scared and feeling hopeless, by having gone through this process myself.

[bkmaggster]

I've decided I am not going to be ashamed of filing for bankruptcy. It's all part of a major life overhaul, and it's bringing me much needed peace.

Maybe someday I will be able to help someone else who is scared and feeling hopeless, by having gone through this process myself.

Oh absolutely, that's how you should feel, and that's how I feel.

I'm not going to lie and say I haven't been hurt by the few close people I told being incredibly petty/judgmental about it, though.

[backtoschool]

Oh absolutely, that's how you should feel, and that's how I feel.

I'm not going to lie and say I haven't been hurt by the few close people I told being incredibly petty/judgmental about it, though.

It's like telling them you have cancer or something. They are just afraid that it is going to happen to them or that it's contagious. Don't let it get to you too much, it's just their fear, and has nothing to do with YOU.

[liz417]

It's like telling them you have cancer or something. They are just afraid that it is going to happen to them or that it's contagious. Don't let it get to you too much, it's just their fear, and has nothing to do with YOU.

LOL!! So true. I didn't tell anyone about our bk because I was/am too embarrassed. My "lovey husband" decided to confide in his sister and told her about our financial problem...I was SO MAD AT HIM, but he said she promised not to say anything...., well, needless to say, our "family gatherings" are awkward and I can tell people try to avoid us like we are going to ask them for money or something! They didn't even call on our birthdays this year...my SIL "claims" she didn't say anything....yeah right.

[debtmonster]

You really don't need to tell people at work. It's none of their business. There would be no benefit in telling them that you did it, so you might as well keep it to yourself. It could potentially add unnecessary controversy.

[backtoschool]

You really don't need to tell people at work. It's none of their business. There would be no benefit in telling them that you did it, so you might as well keep it to yourself. It could potentially add unnecessary controversy.

I would not bring it up at work, I agree. But in these days of online databases and google, it probably will come up to any one who wants to google me in depth.

I only bring it up with family and close friends, and only if it is relevant to the conversation.

[debtmonster]

I don't think a bankruptcy will jump out at you on a Google search. Somebody would have to pay for a background check to get that information.

[backtoschool]

I don't think a bankruptcy will jump out at you on a Google search. Somebody would have to pay for a background check to get that information.

It depends on if the court publishes dockets, etc, or if the trustee publishes a report. It could pop up. Some courts put their room number assignment and dockets on their website, which could be picked up by a search engine. It's not inconceivable, but I am not going to worry about it. What is done is done, and since it's a public record, I won't have any control over the info propagating.