Please don't bash me for asking this

[freedomnow7]

Not to sound snooty or anything, but when I walked into that bankruptcy court today, I have to admit that I was expecting somewhat of a soup line of folks. As I mentioned in a previous post today, there were business people there, people who looked as if they could be my neighbor, friend or colleague.

When my brothers and I were growing up, we would hate for our parents to take us to the thrift stores, Kmart, Payless (remember ProWings?) and Pic N Save. Why? Because (gasp) we might see our friends there and lord knows a rumor would spread around school. It was only after my mom explained to me that if THEY were there too, then THEY must be in the same boat as me. That quelled the embarrassment.

Hey, look, it's your right (or priviledge) as a US Citizen to throw your hands up and say, "I f'd up"...give me another chance".

Life is a continum. Stuff happens. Would you rather sit there and stress about your bills, your house, your car and wonder where the money is coming from to save your butt, OR go through a designated process that millions of others have gone through for situations just like yours, and have the peace of mind knowing that things will be taken care of?

You're NOT a deadbeat, low class, or anything negative because you're taking this step. You can always pay back your creditors, if you so desire. There's no harm in that. In fact, the only way that you should feel shamed or embarrassed is if you are not being true to yourself---or you tried to "work the system".

But, there's no shame in filing for Bankruptcy. This is the bailout for us hardworking Americans that just need a second chance. That's all it is. It's there for you, if you can take advantage of it and use it as a survival tactic, as someone mentioned above, than more power to you!!

Bottom line, it's a strategic move. Companies do it all the time. And, if you've gone through the process, how helpful can you then be to a friend or family member who is struggling with their debt and haven't considered filing BK? This experience makes you stronger...not weaker.

[bluemartini]

but does anyone else feel "low class" for filing or thinking about filing BK?

If it helps, you're not the only one.

Imagine my shame -- I filed Chapter 7 eight years ago this summer when I was out of work. Now here I am running around the same mountain eight years later due to a messy foreclosure and tax situation on a rental property (long, sordid story).

I never dreamed I would be doing this twice. It is mortifying.

I also did something similar to you -- ran up the charge cards trying to hang onto the house when it was a losing battle.

Today I finally swallowed the lump in my throat and dragged myself down to the lawyer's office to pay the retainer fee and get started. I've been dragging my feet on this because I didn't want to admit failure for the second time.

But we have to be practical. The smart thing to do is resolve this legally rather than continuing to bury our heads in the sand. I was tempted to let the statute of limitations run out but then this could haunt me for years -- I mean the potential for a judgment against any future assets I may acquire.

So today I paid half, $875, and now I have to scrounge up the other $875 over the next two or three months by cutting corners at the grocery store, shopping at Goodwill, etc. (UGH)...

It's only 1:30 and already I feel like I need a drink!!!

[ja181]

I feel higher-class now that I've filed.. does that help? =)

last few years have felt like financial prison..that felt pretty low.

[ja181]

If it helps, you're not the only one.

Imagine my shame -- I filed Chapter 7 eight years ago this summer when I was out of work. Now here I am running around the same mountain eight years later due to a messy foreclosure and tax situation on a rental property (long, sordid story).

I never dreamed I would be doing this twice. It is mortifying.

A friend's parents have filed 4 times during their long, troubled marriage. I don't know how I feel about that.

[Delav3]

I kind of feel "low class" right now and the whole situation is putting a strain on my new marriage (filing alone).

Reading this thread kind of cheered me up though, it is always comforting to know you are not alone. I really like this quote from the thread, Hey, look, it's your right (or priviledge) as a US Citizen to throw your hands up and say, "I f'd up"...give me another chance". Strange how it made me feel better.

All I can do is bear through the bankruptcy and make sure it NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

[pepperoncini]

Looking at my second time filing as well.

I'm partly angry to be in this situation and partly relieved to have the chance to start afresh with my eyes WIDE open this time.

My daughter died in a drowning accident in 2003 and we had twins in April 2004. We had a consult with an atty in May 2004 when the medical bills from a twin birth started coming in. Filed BK7 in August 2004,

The next few years were filled with drama after drama...and here we are again.

The good thing is that I'm not steeped in depression or grief this time. I can approach this and see what has/is happening.

DO I feel like a loser. Yep. Especially when I'm accused of being a "serial filer". But life isn't easy and I'm not alone.

Neither are you...

[anime-chicka]

It does pass. I felt the same way when I came to the realization that I'd have to file. My husband couldn't help me since his money was tied up with the mortgage and his own credit cards. I didn't have anyone to turn to and when I ended up in the hospital stressing over it, I knew it was time to finally do it.

Aside from the fact that I felt so worthless telling my manager, since I'd need to take time off to go to the 341 meeting, it did pass eventually. I was able to finally get back on my feet.

I've been doing well, and paying my car payments with no problems. I was even able to afford a flight out to California a couple of months ago when my mom passed away. I don't think I'd have been able to do that without a contribution from my husband or another family member had it been a couple of years ago.

It's a stressful time, so yeah, you do feel a bit low class. But once you see that light at the end of the tunnel and that things can get better, it's not so bad. And besides, unless you live somewhere where everyone knows your business, the only people that will know you filed will be you, your attorney (if you have one) and anyone you choose to tell.

[nervous1]

Looking at my second time filing as well.

I'm partly angry to be in this situation and partly relieved to have the chance to start afresh with my eyes WIDE open this time.

My daughter died in a drowning accident in 2003 and we had twins in April 2004. We had a consult with an atty in May 2004 when the medical bills from a twin birth started coming in. Filed BK7 in August 2004,

The next few years were filled with drama after drama...and here we are again.

The good thing is that I'm not steeped in depression or grief this time. I can approach this and see what has/is happening.

DO I feel like a loser. Yep. Especially when I'm accused of being a "serial filer". But life isn't easy and I'm not alone.

Neither are you...

So sorry about your loss. Money problems are bad, but cannot even begin to compare with the loss of a child. Take care.

[espo1357]

but does anyone else feel "low class" for filing or thinking about filing BK?

The last 4 years have been the hardest in my life. Three years with dealing with (primary caregiver) for my mom and her cancer battle. Losing her last July. One of the consequences of focusing so much attn. on her (which I DON'T regret) is that I wasn't paying close attn. to our financial situation. Love my husband, but he is HORRIBLE with money. A few years ago, we had enough to live comfortably the rest of our life if we just sat on it....nope. Made bad investments, trusted the wrong ppl, etc.

So..here we are, up to our ears in cc debt., sitting in a house we won't be able to pay for much longer. DH has no job, can't find one and we're paying for essentials with Ebay. And, like a fool, I thought "essentials" were cc payments. Thanks to THIS forum, I've finally figured out I was basically throwing away good money putting off the inevitable.

Someone tell me this too shall pass.

no.

IN fact, its quite the opposite. While I am not proud of having to file, filing was the smartest business decison that I have ever made.

BK 13 was the responsible decison to make. I keep my home, and in a few years, my credit will be restored.

Its not my fault the real estate market too the plunge it did AND I lost my job and had to take a 50 percent pay cut, is it?

Besides, look at all the corporations that file. I would say that have some smart people running those joints.

[KAKRN97]

I'm not ashamed of having to file. I was at first but a LOT of othet people have filef and now I'll get my bail out too! Have to convert to Ch 7 thougj since my husband was laid off again after being back to work for 12 weeks after a 15 mo lay off. Wont be able to make the Ch 13 pymnts now for sure! It's almost a relief that hubby got laid off to allow me to convert to a 7

[cyndbird]

I'll admit, I used to think that people who filed bankruptcy just wanted an easy out, but that all changed when the economy tanked a couple years ago and my eyes were opened to the corruption of the banks & government! The banks all got bailed out, but they didn't use that money to help those of us who owed them. Instead, they raised our rates, even if we were not in default & had been paying on time the past 20 years! I have no sympathy for Big Biz and they've pretty much forced us to choose between the necessities of providing our families with a roof over our heads, food in our bellies & clothing on our backs, or to pay them and get further and further behind due to the fear of screwing up our credit! I finally filed for BK the beginning of this month, but I wished I would have done this a year ago when I began a debt management program instead, hoping to save my credit.

So no, don't feel "low class" when big companies like GE make 14.9 billion in profits and don't pay any taxes, yet fire 5% of their workforce, or insurance companies give their CEOs multi-millions in bonuses when all of our insurance rates continue to climb for less and less service!! Just be happy that you came to your senses and re-prioritized your life to what really matters!!

[lillymarlene]

Early last Fall when I signed the Chapter 13 papers with my attorney, my stomach was in knots for about a week after. I was horrified. Like mostly everyone else here I was brought up to pay my bills. But then I got to thinking, this really is a second chance. There was no possible way, that I could clear up the kind of unsecured debt I had, even if I lived to be 200.

It's taken bk for me to realize that only certain things like friends and family really matter, and to know who really are your friends. It's nice to know, too that you're in the company with many rich and famous people.

[espo1357]

Early last Fall when I signed the Chapter 13 papers with my attorney, my stomach was in knots for about a week after. I was horrified. Like mostly everyone else here I was brought up to pay my bills. But then I got to thinking, this really is a second chance. There was no possible way, that I could clear up the kind of unsecured debt I had, even if I lived to be 200.

It's taken bk for me to realize that only certain things like friends and family really matter, and to know who really are your friends. It's nice to know, too that you're in the company with many rich and famous people.

Rich and famous people lack common sense. For these types to file is very silly, when you consider the income they usually have.

Personally, I took a 70% loss of value in my home (I bought at the peak, good move) and took about a 40% reduction in pay. So, I don't think I made bad moves, but I think I just got very unlucky, the perfect storm, and BK was the right move. What the hell was I supposed to do? To NOT file would have been very irresponsible.

And of course, you have your few that commit fraud, these are the scum that give honest folks who file BK, a bad name.

[lillymarlene]

Rich and famous people lack common sense. For these types to file is very silly, when you consider the income they usually have.

Don't know how much "common sense" some people have, and there are some "fraudsters" out there, but I think most people who file are just honest hardworking people who made a few mistakes or got caught in this last economic downturn.

Items and services from my small business are not considered necessities. I'm trying to keep this going, since jobs are not that plentiful when you're pushing 60. I took a big hit with this last recession. My income is now about 1/4 of what it used to be. I am however, determined to live within my means. I'm not ashamed and I do not consider bankruptcy the easy way out.

[sscott4775]

I never really had any qualms about filing for bankruptcy. I knew that in my financial past mistakes were made. Some of the problems were due to my irresponsible handling (or mishandling) of credit, and a lot was due to medical bills because I had to visit the hospital several times at one point. I was under water and needed help and BK offered the solution I needed. It's a shame that in our society, there are people who make BK filers feel ashamed of what they are doing, but I believe that most who file are honest people who gave it their all, tried their best to stay above water, and eventually did what they had to do in order to make life better for themselves and their family. It was the best decision for me and I'm thankful that their are laws in place that give people a chance to start over.

Only wish I could've gotten rid of those darn student loans! lol