Most "devastating" part of BK??

[ladyjenn]

We tried very hard to payback our Debt's, We did debt management plans we tried consolidating. we paid on our debt management for 2 months and then all of the sudden AMEX wanted almost triple what we had agreed to initially. Thats the day I stopped the plan and called an Attorney. I figured we made a good attempt and they didn't want to work with us so we needed to be protected by the law. I have no issues with any of it but my wife was terrified someone was going to find out about us. Our 341 is tomorrow and I cant wait to start living again.

Best of luck to you tomorrow. We were hoping to turn in our paper work and have the atty paid off this month, but we aren't going to make it until the beginning of next month. I REALLY need to get this over with! This
pre-filing period (2 months so far) has been emotionally devastating. I am now taking anti-depress/anxiety meds to help me cope. I pray that what people say is true, and this IS the worst part of filing BK.

[JackBondLove]

I was like many here, very, very high credit scores hovering around 800 last summer. Hearing all my life how important it is to build your score, and keep your score high.

The day before I missed my first payment, my score was 731.

We had a rude awakening late last summer when I actually tallied up my debt and it was over 100K! I never consciously accepted that thought before. That was an eye opener. I mean of course I knew I had the debt, but didn't realize (or didn't want to realize) it was that high.

When I had gotten to that point, it was $140K.

All of our cards only had about 1/2 of the available credit available used, so they helped keep our Credit rating high. That and a perfect payment history no matter what the cost.

I was at about 100% utilization. Of course, the one thing that the credit reports would say is that I could increase my score by paying off my high balances!

I think that the old credit scoring model of having perfect payment is starting to be seen as not very indicative of avoidance of BK. Up until recently, a score of 700 would be indicative of a default rate of only 3%. I think once the actuaries look at the data (i.e., the ones that are still employed), they will have to adjust their models accordingly.

I have a feeling that a lot of us here have had pretty good credit (because up until now we have had pretty good careers), and thus great credit history. But with the destruction of the American middle class finally taking root in this recession, along with the deflation of the housing market, there is going to be a steady stream of folks who did everything they were supposed to, and who had been having success in their careers, to be suddenly poor, many having invested in vastly overpriced real estate, now with the earning capacity of not much more than minimum wage.

Then the banks got their bailouts. (I wonder if that was devastating to the banks to have to ask and accept that......) And they started dropping all the available credit I had and the funny thing is, my credit rating started dropping. Now, I had almost 100% utilization on my cards.. Nice.

The banks seemed to take the bailouts with glee. They were so happy, they gave all their executives bonuses because of the great job they did in getting the bailouts.

I can't tell you how hard it was, mentally, to not make that first payment. I felt horrible.

It was easy as pie for me, but then again, I am incredibly cynical

[JackBondLove]

We tried very hard to payback our Debt's, We did debt management plans we tried consolidating. we paid on our debt management for 2 months and then all of the sudden AMEX wanted almost triple what we had agreed to initially. Thats the day I stopped the plan and called an Attorney. I figured we made a good attempt and they didn't want to work with us so we needed to be protected by the law. I have no issues with any of it but my wife was terrified someone was going to find out about us. Our 341 is tomorrow and I cant wait to start living again.

AMEX was OK. For me, it was Chase that went from having me pay 1.5% per month to 6%! I got that scaled back to about 3%, but a month later, I just threw in the towel.

[newbegin]

The worst part of filing for us was before we filed,
had no ideal how vicious these co's and the collectors could be.
That no matter how long and how good a customer we were "it did'nt matter",

Filing for bankruptcy for me was like having the trustee put the pitbulls that were attacking us in a cage, so at least we could breathe.

[IBroke]

or cleaning up the credit report.

Hmm, I'd say that the clean up and the re-building after discharge is actually the fun part. Finally, some changes on the report in your favor after all the late-payments...

[rmhesq2]

I am a bankruptcy attorney and I have many clients who are scared or ashamed or feel like failures or all of the above. The crash of our economy devastated a lot of people and forced those who would normally pay their bills to file. There is nothing horrible about it and no need to feel devastated. With respect to credit scores, in about 2 - 3 years, if you work on rebuilding your credit, your scores will recover. Time is a great healer in this situation. It is not the end of the world and will not have permanent impact on your credit. In fact, in ten years it will fall of your credit report entirely.

[IBroke]

I am a bankruptcy attorney and I have many clients who are scared or ashamed or feel like failures or all of the above. The crash of our economy devastated a lot of people and forced those who would normally pay their bills to file. There is nothing horrible about it and no need to feel devastated. With respect to credit scores, in about 2 - 3 years, if you work on rebuilding your credit, your scores will recover. Time is a great healer in this situation. It is not the end of the world and will not have permanent impact on your credit. In fact, in ten years it will fall of your credit report entirely.

If your credit is trashed already, filing BK can actually improve your score.

[mrskal]

I am a bankruptcy attorney and I have many clients who are scared or ashamed or feel like failures or all of the above. The crash of our economy devastated a lot of people and forced those who would normally pay their bills to file. There is nothing horrible about it and no need to feel devastated. With respect to credit scores, in about 2 - 3 years, if you work on rebuilding your credit, your scores will recover. Time is a great healer in this situation. It is not the end of the world and will not have permanent impact on your credit. In fact, in ten years it will fall of your credit report entirely.

Totally agree with you! Thanks for posting that.

[researchnerd]

The hardest part for me was not so much the BK but the situation leading to it. DH was laid off more than 2 years ago, cutting our income in half. He's been actively looking for work, and we had hope for the first year or so, but so far he hasn't found anything.

By far, the most emotionally difficult part was the realization last December that we weren't going to be able to keep our house. The house itself wasn't that great (typical 1980s construction, in so-so condition) but it was on 5 acres of land where we'd created a small farm. We had a barn and chicken coop, 40-odd chickens, and a big organic garden; goats and a tractor were next on the list. The farm was a lifelong dream for both of us, my son loved living there, and walking away from that was incredibly hard. We moved out in March and I still can't go back -- I will drive out of my way so I don't have to go past it. It's in foreclosure limbo and it breaks my heart that our farm is sitting there unloved and empty, when we gave it so much of ourblood, sweat and tears. We truly thought we'd retire there, that DS would grow up and bring his kids to visit and maybe inherit it someday...but no.

That said...in my heart, I know it was our only realistic option. We'd burned through our savings and maxed out our CCs to keep paying the mortgage, and couldn't do it any longer. We're now paying less than half in rent than we did on the mortgage. The first night after we moved out, I slept better than I had in months. After all that, the act of filing BK was more of a relief than anything. The process continues to be a challenge, but I'm really looking forward to having a clean start.

[lulabelle]

For me, it was pretty devastating...at least at first. I'm from a different camp than some - I don't look at filing bankruptcy as a "business decision". It was a personal failure, plain and simple. The guilt I feel over it is tremendous. I know in my heart that if we wanted to basically live in poverty, give up what we've worked towards, and stretch ourselves even more thin, we may have worked our way out of debt. It would have taken several years and there are some things (like our home) that we would never, ever get back again (rural property is all but impossible to buy around here). My kids would have had to go without braces, any activities, anything recreational as a family and would have been on their own a lot while we both worked extra jobs. I just couldn't do that to them. I feel terrible that our bad decisions and then the sucky economy led us down this path. We had days and weeks and months filled with unbelievable stress prior to filing. There were creditors calling night and day and I had to fight to do my best to act "normal" for my kids. Prior to this, I had never missed a payment.

We were an asset case, and also unusual in that we have equity in our home. That added much additional stress as I worried about buying back assets and reaffirmation agreements. My name and our bankruptcy case shows up on a Google search. I hope and pray every day that no one I know is bored enough to Google me.

So yes, I completely get why people classify bankruptcy as personally devastating. It was by far one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through.

Now for the good news. Our case discharged in May, but won't close until all of our assets are settled. We now have money in savings and I don't hold my breath every time I swipe my debit card, hoping it will go through. We are taking a couple of vacations this summer (simple, close to home type trips) and I can do so knowing that they are paid for. I no longer dread the trip to the mailbox or stay up late at night trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to rob Peter to pay Paul.

In the end, was it worth it? Yes, for us it was. As far as the guilt goes, it's still there, but I have to move past it; it is what it is.

[tigerm]

The most devastating part of bankruptcy was the waiting and the unknowns. Now that the bankruptcy is over, I feel nothing but relief!

Case Closed 7/20/10 (insert happy dance here!)

[cantwait]

The hardest part for me was knowing that our "perfect credit" (Which actually wasn't perfect. We were never late on any payment, but because we were overextended our credit score wasn't really that high) was going to be a thing of the past. However, as soon as we decided there was no other way out - it has been FANTASTIC! the only bummer part is although we're not in debt, my husband's salary was eliminated and he is now on commission only. So, if we would have done this earlier, we would have had money saved. Now we are still basically living paycheck to paycheck - but it feels soo much better to know that everything we buy is paid in cash. It's a great feeling. No regrets

[penniless]

I just wish that I had filed years ago. I made minimum payments on bills that were never going to be paid off for a long time. The worst part of the whole experience was my wife had creditors call family and her work.

We were discharged last month and it feels great. We have lived without cc's for 2.5 years and I don't think we will ever need one again. We were also able to have another child. We didn't think we could ever afford to have a second child under our old situation.

Life is good again. Stress level is way down. Our financial future looks great. In the beginning, I didn't want anything to do with Bankruptcy, but I see it totally different now.

[Pandora]

hardest part? Hmmm... Probably waiting to get confirmed and to know if our 2nd will be stripped - and reading all the horror stories of "after the facts.."

Other than that - nada.

[ladyjenn]

I just wish that I had filed years ago. I made minimum payments on bills that were never going to be paid off for a long time. The worst part of the whole experience was my wife had creditors call family and her work.

We were discharged last month and it feels great. We have lived without cc's for 2.5 years and I don't think we will ever need one again. We were also able to have another child. We didn't think we could ever afford to have a second child under our old situation.

Life is good again. Stress level is way down. Our financial future looks great. In the beginning, I didn't want anything to do with Bankruptcy, but I see it totally different now.

We should have filed years ago as well. We even took all the equity in our house out to pay debt down. Now we have no equity and a 40 year mortgage at 9.63%. I really wish there was some way to re-fi before we file. This is still hard, but I know once we file and the atty tells us everything will be ok, I will be so much better!
Edited to add: maybe we should take the next two years to do improvements to the house, and have the appraisal come back higher so we have more equity. I just hate to pay that interest rate for 2 more years! Ughhh