Most "devastating" part of BK??

[nervous1]

I've heard many people describe filing bankruptcy as "devastating," "life-changing," "last resort," etc.

For those of you who have gone through it or already filed and just waiting it out now, what was the hardest part for you?

I ask because at this point (pretty much decided to stop paying cc's and pretty much decided to file), I'm not sure how much more depressing this can get. The stress of looking at your bank account and realizing you CAN'T continue on this path is pretty overwhelming.

From where I sit, BK looks like a welcome solution.

But, it's scary to think that it only gets worse. I mean, if you'll end up with a place to live and enough $$$ to pay your bills, isn't that better?

[dollarshort]

For us it felt like a failure. We had an immaculate credit history...had every intention of paying every penny we had ever owed. We had made it work for a long time, living like paupers, but managing to pay our debts for so long. The realization that we could no longer make it work was the devastating part.

[contest]

I've heard the same thing all my life. We just filed on July 8, and all I can think is 'why didn't I do this a year ago?' It was an immediate feeling of relief when we got our case number. The only thing difficult right now is just the waiting. The devistating feelings, stress, tension were all pre filing and exactly as you said, taking a look at the bank account and feeling hopeless and depressed.

The best I can figure is that it is a case of if you say hear something enough, people start to believe it, and I think that people like Dave Ramsey and such keep saying it because they either had a very bad personal experience, or a vested interest in keeping people from filing. I imagine the credit card companies would have nothing but horror stories to tell about how bankruptcy destroys people, marriages, relationships.

My personal experience so far is the exact opposite. I have feelings of hope and relief that I haven't felt in years.

[HHM]

1. Never heard ANYONE who has actually gone through BK call it "devastating" or "last resort." Those are the FEARS (unfounded fears) people have BEFORE filing BK.

2. The better question is whether there were any unexpected negatives? For the most part, BK has a tremendous positive outcome, financial relief (no more debt), emotional relief (no more financial stress), etc. Any downside to BK usually is associated with improper or misinformed expectations; administrative or practical hassles after BK, (dealing with the periodic junk debt buyer that sends a letter, or cleaning up the credit report). But for the most part, for those that have actually done it, the debtor will ALWAY emerge better off than when they started.

[nervous1]

Thanks for the replies....it's not only helpful to have other people in the same situation (misery loves company;), but to also read the experiences of those who have already gone though it.

I should have added that while I hoped to hear mostly "positive" experiences, I also would appreciate knowing what I'm in for....

RE: Dave Ramsey. My husband and I talked about him this morning. He is one of the biggest opponents of BK that I know of, yet, I can't quite equate my situation with his since at the time of his BK, he still emerged with his head above water, right? And, sorry, but he makes his "living" now on people who are having financial problems and want to avoid BK. (Which I would like to do too, but BK seems to offer the "fresh start" that I feel I need.)

[nervous1]

For us it felt like a failure. We had an immaculate credit history...had every intention of paying every penny we had ever owed. We had made it work for a long time, living like paupers, but managing to pay our debts for so long. The realization that we could no longer make it work was the devastating part.

I can TOTALLY relate. My credit score (which I'm starting to care less and less about in today's world) is excellent. (today...just wait a few months ;). I have NEVER missed a mortgage, car, cc payment.

But, when taking your kid's to the dollar store is an outing (and they're 9 and 12, so it's not like you're fooling them anymore ;), it's time to do something.

[DebtHater]

BK can be "devastating" to those that all they care about is their credit score.

BK can be "life-changing" in good ways and bad ways. It is all what you make of it.

Last resort? Some are quick to say "let's file and take the easy way out". For others use it as a last resort. Since you mentioned Dave Ramsey I don't think he's blatantly against BK. His take is exhaust all your other options. He doesn't want people to file BK and not learn how to manage their money and be back in the same boat a year from now.

How would I describe it? It was life-changing for me. To date it's been over 7 months since I filed and about 4 months post discharge and I don't regret it. I've put the creditors behind be and can save now. I don't worry about not having a credit card as I now have an emergency fund and budget money every month into it.

The hardest part in the whole process was admitting to myself that filing was the best alternative. Once I filed a great deal of stress was gone and the discharge was anti-climatic. I was never one to be stressed about (or even track) my credit score so that aspect doesn't effect me.

[frogger]

From where I sit, BK looks like a welcome solution.

That's what it was for me. It was hard to make the decision because I felt like a failure, but once the decision was made, it was all good.

Failure would have been to keep on doing the same thing. BK was a huge step in our financial recovery plan.

[Morgon64]

I think the hardest part was making myself stop hating on the trustee everytime she filied another objection.

She could totally ruin my day.

[Exployer1234]

For me it was a "last resort". The hardest part for me was finally saying to myself you have no other choice but to file. I had worked hard to try and pay the bills, but just could not do it anymore. About a year prior to filing I could not even pay my CC's. I even looked into settlement offers from CC's and could not get them down enough.

I think what the hardest part for me was letting my guard down and saying I am not perfect. I am a perfectionist and it took a lot to say that I finally could not pay my bills anymore.

[stormy]

I'm in the process of gathering paperwork and paying my lawyer's retaining fee; I'm filing Chapter 7 Bankruptcy hopefully by August/September. My divorce was final in January 2010 and my Ex-hubby has done nothing to get my name off the mortgages/vehicles that he possesses. He's struggling with the mortgage as he has made the last few month's payments late.

I was left with $20,000 CC debt of my own along with my car; I'm going to reaffirm my auto loan and wipe out the rest. I ran my credit report and when I added everything up that is either in my name or was held jointly with my Ex my total was around $290,000!! Quite an eye opener to say the least.

Do I feel like a failure? Hardly. I feel 110% better after I talked to the attorney and stopped making the $600/month payments on my CC debt; I sleep better at night knowing that I will now have enough money to survive each month.

I'm looking forward to filing my paperwork and getting my case rolling :0).

Sue
Illinois

[brokejoker]

We thought bankruptcy was devestating too. Until we filed that is! No more incessant phone calls, no more sheriff's deputies knocking on our door with summons, no more intent to accelerate letters from our mortgage company, no more threatening letters, and no more money disappearing from our bank account because the credit union CC payment is late. That was the devestating stuff, filing is power and control of your financial life!

[BobWang]

The creditors are the ones who want you to feel "devastaed".......

[JackBondLove]

By declaring BK, I would be giving up on being able to get a very low interest rate loan (2.7%) for the replacement for the home I lost in a natural disaster. However, once I looked at my total situation, the fact that I could wipe out so much unsecured debt (and debt that I had kept rolling over at teaser low interest rates, which were becoming unavailable because of the financial crisit) yet keep assets (a super cheap home, my piano, all of my stuff with a few $K to by it back) just made it good business decision.

My only worry was that because a lot of debt had been made (or rolled over) while I technically had low income (although I only had low income because my business could not get any clients after a long period of semi-retirement!), that the debt would be considered as fraudulent. (I learned that so long as the debtor believed to have a reasonable chance to pay back the debt, the debt is not fraudulent, so certainly believing that my business could get back to where it had been is reasonable.) When I decided to pull the plug, I basically just realized that my business has failed and that I no longer have the ability in this economy to generate a certain level of income. I think that a lot of professionals will come to this conclusion and do the BK as well, and just go one being a poor schlub.

Did I feel like a failure? Hell no! I feel like my country is a failure for allowing a person like me, who played by the rules, to be unemployable, while letting outsourcing and foreign technical workers flood the labor market. I actually feel like I got away with something. I ended up spending $100K more than I had (and mostly not on frivolous stuff), and did not have to pay it back (I lost another $35K in the stock market.) I feel just like the swindlers on Wall Street who bet the farm, lost, and still got bonuses! Heads I win, tails the bank loses, and gets bailed out by the taxpayer! I basically used credit to live instead of working. Had the economy not failed, I would have been working and earning for the past few years, and would have been able to pay the debt back. I consider it to be my golden parachute in this economy.

[kartoons19]

During the past year or so, the hardest part for me has been wondering if I am going to be able to keep a roof over my head. I always made good money and never had problems finding a job. So two years ago I quit a job for a full-time contract position that was supposed to last for over a year, but ended after 6 weeks. I was ineligible for unemployment, so I was on my own. Then the recession hit and I couldn't find a full-time job.

I have had credit for almost 30 years and had never once been late. Was I proud of that? Sure. So it was very difficult to stop paying my CCs. It has now been five months and I have learned a lot about bk and place a lot less emphasis on my credit score. To be totally honest, even before the job loss I wasn't the best with money, but I have learned my lesson. Once I realized that I had no other choice but to file, I felt relief. I will be filing by the end of the month and can't wait for the fresh start. I do wish I had done this sooner.

While I don't think people should rush out to file, I do think that there are so many myths around BK that people are afraid to file, when it all it does is provide a fresh start. Good luck to you.