I'm so scared and so ashamed

[Panacea]

Thanks for the replies! I know I'm too emotional and have to calm down. I'm trying. If I give up the house and car, I don't have anything. Nowhere to go. Nothing to drive. I'm sorry, I'm on my own with this...haven't told anyone in the family. I keep thinking there is a way out (been doing that for about 2 years now but kept convincing myself it wasn't that bad) and I finally realized this weekend there isn't.

[momofthree]

What is your home worth and what will your payments reset to in 5/6 years?

[backtoschool]

Of course you deserve help.

The situation you describe is no different than the situation that most of the middle class is finding themselves in. (Except that your credit card debt is lower than a lot of people's)

The first step to getting the relief from the crushing burden you are under is to deal with the emotions and forgive yourself. Once you take the emotions out of picture, then you will be able to see clearly what to do.

I made a high income, and worked on Wall Street before I filed for bankruptcy. Amongst the people I hung around with, it was inconceivable that someone would file for bankruptcy. Those simply were not the values of my "crowd". I avoided dealing with it for awhile (a year) and then when I lost my job, I had no choice but to do something. The shame was the first emotion I had, and the strongest emotion I felt, and the hardest emotion for me to get rid of.

I dealt with the shame by realizing that there is no point looking backward. The bankruptcy laws exist to give you protection. Use them to your advantage and give yourself some blue skies and breathing room in your future.

We have all been through what you are going through and you can find help and support on this board.

[keepmine]

If you've been reading for a week, you know you very likely will keep your house and car depending on the equity exemptions in your state.
No bk lawyer is going to call you and idiot and undeserving of help.
Since you have a meeting scheduled with a lawyer, be prepared. Start by deciding is, your home worth saving. Do you have negative equity and what sort of loan terms do you have once the IO period of the loan expires. What is the equity picture with the car? Just because you can afford the payments doesn't mean it makes sense to keep them.
BK is all about a fresh start and nothing is fresh if you drag assets with negative equity through the bk.
Try and stop being so emotional and look at this as a business decision and make that decision with your best interest in mind.

[seekingpeace]

I'm not smart enough on all of this yet to help you but wanted you know I'm thinking about you! I think we'll find answers soon enough and we'll deal with them then as best we can. Stay strong!

[Panacea]

Hi everyone. Been reading for about a week now. I'm absolutely petrified to the point of not taking action because I feel like I don't deserve help.

Quick view of what trouble I'm in.

280,000 mortgage - 1800 a month. IO only loan - 6 more years IO
25,000 HELOC - 80.00 month. IO only - 5 more years IO
25,000 CC debt - 600.00 approx - for the rest of my life.
15,000 Car payment - 460.00 - 3 more years
3,000 medical - haven't paid in months
misc household bills.

The credit card debt is for no reason except for my stupidity.

I do have a full time job, but the overtime has stopped.

I really had no idea how bad it was till the overtime stopped. I was basically working alot of it to pay my bills, and charging what I could not afford. I was "happy" being able to make the minimum payments on the CC's and not looking at what I was racking up. I don't know what world I was living in.

I tried to re-finance, but they said no, check for a loan modification.

When giving all the details to the loan modification person, is when I broke down. I had no idea what my finance mess really was, until they told me I don't even make enough to pay my bills. (They denied me btw as well) With the overtime, I was able to pay, but still was charging. THEY suggested bankruptcy.

I'm on my knees and can't seem to get up after that. I hate me and what I've done. I did contact a BK lawyer and am meeting him Wed morning.

What if they say forget it, you're an idiot for living the way you have and you are not worth helping?

I want to keep the house and car, but am scared they'll take that as well. My full time job will cover those payments (including HELOC) with money to cover home expenses.

I have been ON TIME and actually was told by my mortgage company I have an impeccable record with them. The one thing I made sure of was that my mortgage, car, heloc, and cc bills were paid on time. But by doing that, I was putting myself more in debt with the CC's. Now with now overtime, next month will be the beginning of the end of paying these on time or if at all.

I'm a single mom, and way over my head and can't do this anymore.

Thanks for listening and sorry for rambling.