I'm so scared and so ashamed

[LadyInTheRed]

daglo,

From this response, you can scroll to the top of the page. Find the blue hypertext links that look like this:

Bankruptcy Form > Before the Discharge > Chapter 7 > I'm so scared and so ashamed

This series of links tells you where you are in the forum. Click Chapter 7 and you will go back to the top level of the Chapter 7 section of the forum.

Daglo, since your question has to do with Chap 13, click "Before the Discharge" instead of "Chapter 7", then click "Chapter 13" and find the "new thread" button.

[empowered]

daglo,

From any section of this "forum" or bulletin board (now you're in the Chapter 7 forum), click the New Thread button on the left side near the top.

If you don't see the button, you're not at the top of the section.

From this response, you can scroll to the top of the page. Find the blue hypertext links that look like this:

Bankruptcy Form > Before the Discharge > Chapter 7 > I'm so scared and so ashamed

This series of links tells you where you are in the forum. Click Chapter 7 and you will go back to the top level of the Chapter 7 section of the forum.

Then you should be able to click (press) the New Thread button.

And that shows a screen that looks similar to the screen you've been using to reply to this one.

Good luck. You'll get the hang of it.

[backtoschool]

We do not qualify for a Chapter 7 I found out due to our income. We did not pass the means test. We have a decent income, but ALOT of debt. How do they determine what you can keep?

I've got things that were my grandmother's that are sentimental things, not worth anything to them, but can they take anything away after my exemptions? How do they determine that? I also read on this site that alot of people wouldn't go through a CH 13 because it is so hard. We are living hand to mouth now, and budget shop, buy nothing, etc, so I guess it wouldn't be too hard to do!!

In a Chapter 13 the trustee does not take your unexempt property into the bankruptcy estate like in a chapter 7. In a chapter 13, you simply keep your assets, but end up with a trustee approved payment plan based on your salary, that will go to pay off your creditors over a period of time. Your expense and income schedules will determine how much money goes towards paying your creditors. Secured creditors get paid first. Second mortgages can be stripped in a chapter 13 as well.

[brokejoker]

We do not qualify for a Chapter 7 I found out due to our income. We did not pass the means test. We have a decent income, but ALOT of debt. How do they determine what you can keep?

I've got things that were my grandmother's that are sentimental things, not worth anything to them, but can they take anything away after my exemptions? How do they determine that? I also read on this site that alot of people wouldn't go through a CH 13 because it is so hard. We are living hand to mouth now, and budget shop, buy nothing, etc, so I guess it wouldn't be too hard to do!!

Exemptions go by state. Just look yours up and you can see what you'll be working with. Remember that the value of your items is going to be garage sale pricing. How much is a used toaster worth at a garage sale anyway? 50 cents? If you have true antiques from your grandmother that are worth realmoney then you may have to pay the difference between the value of the items and your exemptions into your plan but as long as you can do that you will most likely keep the items. Trustees don't really want storage sheds full of other peoples stuff that needs to be sold for a few bucks!

[daglo]

daglo, I've been through a Chapter 13 with an attorney and am now doing a Chapter 7 pro se. A period of unemployment led to the Chapter 13; another period of unemployment has lowered my income to the point that Chapter 7 is the logical thing. I made installments to the Chapter 13 plan for about a year before it was dismissed, without prejudice, when I stopped paying into it.

Chapter 13 is tough, especially if you're an older debtor whose ability to buy a house will be put off for a good 7 years (usually two years after completion of a Chapter 13) plan and who needs to prepare for retirement. The plans may mean that while you have protection from your creditors, every extra cent of disposable income that you have goes to paying back your creditors. But this depends on how much you make and other family circumstances.

You should look at the exemptions for your state. Attorneys and the Nolo press book on bankruptcy (whichever you want, 13 or 7) will tell you to generally use the price you'd get if you sold something used. My Chapter 13 attorneys used the word "bargain basement" to refer to estimates of value.

For some reassurance you can find the link that provides exemption information for your state. Note that these are not always current so you should take them with a grain of salt. But they'll let you know how much room you have to maneuver. See the link: http://www.legalconsumer.com/.

You might want to open up a separate thread to discuss your problem. Your information is lost inside this thread, which was originated to discuss Panacea's situation.

Good luck.

Thank you so much. I do not know how to open a new thread?

[empowered]

About daglo's situation

daglo, I've been through a Chapter 13 with an attorney and am now doing a Chapter 7 pro se. A period of unemployment led to the Chapter 13; another period of unemployment has lowered my income to the point that Chapter 7 is the logical thing. I made installments to the Chapter 13 plan for about a year before it was dismissed, without prejudice, when I stopped paying into it.

Chapter 13 is tough, especially if you're an older debtor whose ability to buy a house will be put off for a good 7 years (usually two years after completion of a Chapter 13) plan and who needs to prepare for retirement. The plans may mean that while you have protection from your creditors, every extra cent of disposable income that you have goes to paying back your creditors. But this depends on how much you make and other family circumstances.

You should look at the exemptions for your state. Attorneys and the Nolo press book on bankruptcy (whichever you want, 13 or 7) will tell you to generally use the price you'd get if you sold something used. My Chapter 13 attorneys used the word "bargain basement" to refer to estimates of value.

For some reassurance you can find the link that provides exemption information for your state. Note that these are not always current so you should take them with a grain of salt. But they'll let you know how much room you have to maneuver. See the link: http://www.legalconsumer.com/.

You might want to open up a separate thread to discuss your problem. Your information is lost inside this thread, which was originated to discuss Panacea's situation.

Good luck.

[daglo]

That is absolutely untrue. I am surprised he is trying to scare you like that! Definitely do NOT go to that attorney if you file.

You are allowed exemptions for household goods, car, home equity, etc. The exemptions vary by state but they will cover your household goods in most cases.

We do not qualify for a Chapter 7 I found out due to our income. We did not pass the means test. We have a decent income, but ALOT of debt. How do they determine what you can keep?

I've got things that were my grandmother's that are sentimental things, not worth anything to them, but can they take anything away after my exemptions? How do they determine that? I also read on this site that alot of people wouldn't go through a CH 13 because it is so hard. We are living hand to mouth now, and budget shop, buy nothing, etc, so I guess it wouldn't be too hard to do!!

[empowered]

And though after talking to this one lawyer you may decide that bankruptcy is the best course of action, do not engage one attorney without interviewing several of them.

There have been some recent good threads on how to find an attorney. Be sure to find these and read them so that you can carefully select an attorney. You deserve the best.

[BKDebby]

My dad is aware, and very supportive. I told him Saturday about the issues but didn't mention bankruptcy. He called today after he spoke to an accountant friend, and he suggested it...not knowing I had scheduled the appt with a lawyer Wed morning! Now, I'm feeling better till my thoughts go to issues I will have daughter (15), her dad and his family. She will be crushed having to move if I let go of the house. My dad has said I could move back in (thats what I broke down about in the car. (46, living with dad) single and a LOSER! My daughters father is a good man (we are not together) but totally has his shit together, and despises people who can't keep their finances in order.

You are not a loser! I broke down several times when I was just considering BK. Now my mind is finally at ease. There are a LOT of people who do this.

Why would your daughter's dad even have to know anything about the BK? You don't have to tell anyone - I guess you've already told your dad, but you don't have to broadcast it to the world!

Just tell him you are downsizing and your home is too much for you to take care of.

[Panacea]

And....one thing my dad told me the accountant said. When ever your getting a home loan, and you have to say "I can make this work, it'll be tight, but I can do it" DON'T DO IT! That sorta made me laugh, because THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT! I've been working my life away to get the overtime to make my payments, which made my credit card debt higher, which made me work more overtime.........WHICH MADE ME LOSE MY MIND!!!!!!!!

[drowning123]

Thank you! I do need to get a grip, and I do think I will. Alot of just fessing up to the dept and inability to pay was like I entered a whole new universe. I'd been playing tricks with my mind and finances, then when the overtime stopped, I realized how bad it was and it knocked me to my floor.

I will talk to this lawyer and keep hanging here. You guys are awesome!

At a girl!

[Panacea]

Thank you! I do need to get a grip, and I do think I will. Alot of just fessing up to the dept and inability to pay was like I entered a whole new universe. I'd been playing tricks with my mind and finances, then when the overtime stopped, I realized how bad it was and it knocked me to my floor.

I will talk to this lawyer and keep hanging here. You guys are awesome!

[drowning123]

I agree with empowered. And also, to add, Pan. Think about your daughter's future. What about college? You don't want all this debt hanging around when she graduates high school, right? Talk to her about that. Tell her you're doing it for a better life for her. Next time she asks, "Mom, can I get Uggs?" You can say, "Yes, honey." without fretting. Ultimately, filing chapter 7 is a relief from the stress, the sleepless nights and the tears. Don't worry, my dear. This is why you're not with her father anymore. He used to judge you. But at this point, who cares? Thankfully your Dad is very supportive. Husbands, boyfriends, wives, girlfriends all come and go. Keep that chin up. You're just going through the motions. It will all work out.

[empowered]

Panacea, I'm so glad you wrote so that you can hear from others in your position, especially drowning123 and BKDebby. Listen to UpACreekinCA too. What has happened isn't just about you and, in fact, your blaming yourself for "stupidity" is going to make it harder for you to get through this.

Please try to work through this self-blame. Obviously you must recognize the state of the economy -- when the economy is bad, things get worse for everyone and credit lenders have been allowed to run wild and set unreasonable terms. Lots of people are in the same situation as you and the way things are set up people must increasingly have or use credit in order to have the good credit necessary to find a place to live and even to find a job.

You need to work through this for your sake and the sake of your kids. Keep reading the posts in this forum and you'll see -- you're no more stupid than anyone else who is trying to survive.

Give yourself a break. Do something nice for yourself and use your legal privilege to bankruptcy to start fresh if it looks like it will help. But be sure you have a good lawyer -- make sure that your feelings about this situation don't end up with you finding an attorney who is a lousy advocate for you. You need someone who will help you, not beat you up more.

Best.

[Panacea]

Thanks again everyone! I feel a little bit better each time I read (minus the breakdown in the car when I had to run out this evening). My dad is aware, and very supportive. I told him Saturday about the issues but didn't mention bankruptcy. He called today after he spoke to an accountant friend, and he suggested it...not knowing I had scheduled the appt with a lawyer Wed morning! Now, I'm feeling better till my thoughts go to issues I will have daughter (15), her dad and his family. She will be crushed having to move if I let go of the house. My dad has said I could move back in (thats what I broke down about in the car. (46, living with dad) single and a LOSER! My daughters father is a good man (we are not together) but totally has his shit together, and despises people who can't keep their finances in order. So that would be me. I'm considering, when it comes down to it, if I let the house go, she could live with him and I could do weekends and still handle most extra stuff with her. She would never want to live in my dads house.

I'm sorry again. This is all just too much for me to handle right now and I can't help but breakdown the more I talk about it. I don't mean to treat you all like you are therapists, but I'm just so scared about how this is all going to go down and the respect I'll lose from my daughter, her dad and his family.

Thanks again for listening. I'll try to keep the emotions at bay.

PS - I still couldn't say the words "25,000" cc debt to my dad, I said 11,000, not the he would've judged, maybe just bigger fatter gasp than I got! WTF did I spend 25,000 on??????? What a waste.