I'm so scared and so ashamed

[IBroke]

As long as there are CEOs in this country who bankrupt companies AND collect a multi-million $$ bonus for their "work".....

NOPE, no need to feel ashamed..

[daglo]

I've been reading these posts. I would LOVE to file for BK and rid myself of this terribloe burden we are under after an income cut and job loss. Our attorney told us if we file for a Chapter 7, it is a possibility that a sherfiff would come to my door and tag anything of value- a toaster, couch, TV. We do not have anything that is worth much (except to us) and is this true? He said they will tag anything they think they can get a dollar for

[backtoschool]

I've been reading these posts. I would LOVE to file for BK and rid myself of this terribloe burden we are under after an income cut and job loss. Our attorney told us if we file for a Chapter 7, it is a possibility that a sherfiff would come to my door and tag anything of value- a toaster, couch, TV. We do not have anything that is worth much (except to us) and is this true? He said they will tag anything they think they can get a dollar for

That is absolutely untrue. I am surprised he is trying to scare you like that! Definitely do NOT go to that attorney if you file.

You are allowed exemptions for household goods, car, home equity, etc. The exemptions vary by state but they will cover your household goods in most cases.

[joh]

I've been reading these posts. I would LOVE to file for BK and rid myself of this terribloe burden we are under after an income cut and job loss. Our attorney told us if we file for a Chapter 7, it is a possibility that a sherfiff would come to my door and tag anything of value- a toaster, couch, TV. We do not have anything that is worth much (except to us) and is this true? He said they will tag anything they think they can get a dollar for

That the is the most foolish thing i've heard. Get a differant attorney

[BKDebby]

Panacea, do not be ashamed. I am just like you, but I'm single with no kids, and I used my cc too much for silly things. Since October 2008 I've been robbing Peter to pay Paul, so to speak, since my health insurance skyrocketed so that was essentially a cut in my income. I had been living so close to the edge, a big increase in my premiums sent me over the edge.

I still managed to pay my cc's up until June (I even had a credit score of 780) when my old car bit the dust and I had to get a new one. The new car payment really put me in the spot where I will have to file next month (I retained an attorney in June 5 days after I bought my new car).

I was so ashamed it was hard for me to make a phone call to set up an appointment with an attorney.

The kind people here told me to not feel ashamed, it was purely a business decision. I am finally able to get some sleep at night instead of worrying about making my cc payments and where the money was coming from.

My only worry will be my 341 hearing! After that, it's smooth sailing and a fresh start for a new life free of cc debt.

What made me come to terms is the new info they put on the cc statements. My Discovercard would have taken me 40 years to pay off if I paid the minimum each month. At my age, I would have never seen the day it was paid off.

[UpaCreekinCA]

i blame citibank and chase ........ i am actually a pretty sharp guy . Seriously, to each their own. They say hind-sight is 20/20 for a reason. Probably just about everyone on this forum would have done things differently if they knew what was ahead for them. You make the best choices you can at the time and chalk everything else up to life long learning. If the banks were willing to work with people a little more and the job market wasn't crap, BKs wouldn't be up 30% this year and 20% last year.

[Panacea]

Thanks again everyone! I feel a little bit better each time I read (minus the breakdown in the car when I had to run out this evening). My dad is aware, and very supportive. I told him Saturday about the issues but didn't mention bankruptcy. He called today after he spoke to an accountant friend, and he suggested it...not knowing I had scheduled the appt with a lawyer Wed morning! Now, I'm feeling better till my thoughts go to issues I will have daughter (15), her dad and his family. She will be crushed having to move if I let go of the house. My dad has said I could move back in (thats what I broke down about in the car. (46, living with dad) single and a LOSER! My daughters father is a good man (we are not together) but totally has his shit together, and despises people who can't keep their finances in order. So that would be me. I'm considering, when it comes down to it, if I let the house go, she could live with him and I could do weekends and still handle most extra stuff with her. She would never want to live in my dads house.

I'm sorry again. This is all just too much for me to handle right now and I can't help but breakdown the more I talk about it. I don't mean to treat you all like you are therapists, but I'm just so scared about how this is all going to go down and the respect I'll lose from my daughter, her dad and his family.

Thanks again for listening. I'll try to keep the emotions at bay.

PS - I still couldn't say the words "25,000" cc debt to my dad, I said 11,000, not the he would've judged, maybe just bigger fatter gasp than I got! WTF did I spend 25,000 on??????? What a waste.

[empowered]

Panacea, I'm so glad you wrote so that you can hear from others in your position, especially drowning123 and BKDebby. Listen to UpACreekinCA too. What has happened isn't just about you and, in fact, your blaming yourself for "stupidity" is going to make it harder for you to get through this.

Please try to work through this self-blame. Obviously you must recognize the state of the economy -- when the economy is bad, things get worse for everyone and credit lenders have been allowed to run wild and set unreasonable terms. Lots of people are in the same situation as you and the way things are set up people must increasingly have or use credit in order to have the good credit necessary to find a place to live and even to find a job.

You need to work through this for your sake and the sake of your kids. Keep reading the posts in this forum and you'll see -- you're no more stupid than anyone else who is trying to survive.

Give yourself a break. Do something nice for yourself and use your legal privilege to bankruptcy to start fresh if it looks like it will help. But be sure you have a good lawyer -- make sure that your feelings about this situation don't end up with you finding an attorney who is a lousy advocate for you. You need someone who will help you, not beat you up more.

Best.

[drowning123]

I agree with empowered. And also, to add, Pan. Think about your daughter's future. What about college? You don't want all this debt hanging around when she graduates high school, right? Talk to her about that. Tell her you're doing it for a better life for her. Next time she asks, "Mom, can I get Uggs?" You can say, "Yes, honey." without fretting. Ultimately, filing chapter 7 is a relief from the stress, the sleepless nights and the tears. Don't worry, my dear. This is why you're not with her father anymore. He used to judge you. But at this point, who cares? Thankfully your Dad is very supportive. Husbands, boyfriends, wives, girlfriends all come and go. Keep that chin up. You're just going through the motions. It will all work out.

[Panacea]

Thank you! I do need to get a grip, and I do think I will. Alot of just fessing up to the dept and inability to pay was like I entered a whole new universe. I'd been playing tricks with my mind and finances, then when the overtime stopped, I realized how bad it was and it knocked me to my floor.

I will talk to this lawyer and keep hanging here. You guys are awesome!

[drowning123]

Thank you! I do need to get a grip, and I do think I will. Alot of just fessing up to the dept and inability to pay was like I entered a whole new universe. I'd been playing tricks with my mind and finances, then when the overtime stopped, I realized how bad it was and it knocked me to my floor.

I will talk to this lawyer and keep hanging here. You guys are awesome!

At a girl!

[Panacea]

And....one thing my dad told me the accountant said. When ever your getting a home loan, and you have to say "I can make this work, it'll be tight, but I can do it" DON'T DO IT! That sorta made me laugh, because THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT! I've been working my life away to get the overtime to make my payments, which made my credit card debt higher, which made me work more overtime.........WHICH MADE ME LOSE MY MIND!!!!!!!!

[BKDebby]

My dad is aware, and very supportive. I told him Saturday about the issues but didn't mention bankruptcy. He called today after he spoke to an accountant friend, and he suggested it...not knowing I had scheduled the appt with a lawyer Wed morning! Now, I'm feeling better till my thoughts go to issues I will have daughter (15), her dad and his family. She will be crushed having to move if I let go of the house. My dad has said I could move back in (thats what I broke down about in the car. (46, living with dad) single and a LOSER! My daughters father is a good man (we are not together) but totally has his shit together, and despises people who can't keep their finances in order.

You are not a loser! I broke down several times when I was just considering BK. Now my mind is finally at ease. There are a LOT of people who do this.

Why would your daughter's dad even have to know anything about the BK? You don't have to tell anyone - I guess you've already told your dad, but you don't have to broadcast it to the world!

Just tell him you are downsizing and your home is too much for you to take care of.

[empowered]

And though after talking to this one lawyer you may decide that bankruptcy is the best course of action, do not engage one attorney without interviewing several of them.

There have been some recent good threads on how to find an attorney. Be sure to find these and read them so that you can carefully select an attorney. You deserve the best.

[daglo]

That is absolutely untrue. I am surprised he is trying to scare you like that! Definitely do NOT go to that attorney if you file.

You are allowed exemptions for household goods, car, home equity, etc. The exemptions vary by state but they will cover your household goods in most cases.

We do not qualify for a Chapter 7 I found out due to our income. We did not pass the means test. We have a decent income, but ALOT of debt. How do they determine what you can keep?

I've got things that were my grandmother's that are sentimental things, not worth anything to them, but can they take anything away after my exemptions? How do they determine that? I also read on this site that alot of people wouldn't go through a CH 13 because it is so hard. We are living hand to mouth now, and budget shop, buy nothing, etc, so I guess it wouldn't be too hard to do!!