Retained a lawyer today...

[delphinus317]

Hi All,

I've been lurking around the boards for the last few weeks trying to decide whether or not to file. The information found within the posts has been so helpful & after speaking with the attorney, I decided to take the plunge.

See, my husband was incarcerated in late July on a parole violation (drinking - he's a bad drunk, an alcoholic even & causes chaos that gets him in trouble) and it's impossible for me alone to pay the household expenses & continue to pay on the consumer debt that we have. With his income, it was no problem, but now that he's no longer contributing & I don't even know if our relationship will survive this, for my own wellbeing, I'm forced to file. I'm in Pennsylvania.

My attorney says I'll be eligible for Chapter 7, most everything is in my name only so I'm filing alone. I filled out the questionnaire & paid the retainer this morning. I probably won't actually file until November, after I'm able to pay the rest of the fee. Until this is all over though, I'll be nuts. So, I wanted to introduce myself & thank you for all of the great information. Hopefully, I'll be able to contribute with my experiences too.

[IamOld]

Just want to say - much good wishes to you...FAR easier say than to do - but this too shall pass. There are SO many kind, wonderful, and smart people here. All best wishes to you!!!!

[LadyInTheRed]

Welcome to the board, delphinius317. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. It's so sad what alcohol can do to a life. The good friend who introduced me to my husband is serving a 1 year sentence after being convicted of DUI for the 6th time. He went through a long dry period, but then decided he could have a couple of beers. Wrong! He quickly was back to his pickled self. He now writes in his letters about wanting to become a counselor to young people with alcohol and drug problems. He's sounds so positive now that he's sobered up, even while sitting in a cell. It may be that a year in jail is the best thing that could have happened to him. Hopefully, the sobriety sticks this time. I hope your husband's incarceration can somehow turn into a positive for him that helps him turn his life around. Whether it does or not, please keep doing what is right for you!

[delphinus317]

Thank you IamOld & LadyInTheRed. He says he wants to stay sober, but he's in jail... He has no choice right now. So, I'm kind of stuck in this limbo, waiting for him to get out & see if he really means it and/or is capable of doing that. Since he's been locked up (sobered up), he tells me everything I wanted to hear before he got busted. So, while it would be easier for me to just move on without him & get my life together... I'm still holding on to a slim thread of hope, why, I don't know... Only time will tell if he really wants to change. All I do know is that I can't do it for him. I can only do my best for myself & my boys. Unfortunately at this point, it means going through the bankruptcy process. We'll see how the rest falls into place. Thanks!

[btbeme]

Unfortunately at this point, it means going through the bankruptcy process. We'll see how the rest falls into place. Thanks!

Like any difficult journey - financial, marital, sobriety - taking the first steps is the toughest part. Starting a new financial life with a clean slate will make a world of difference to you and help relieve a lot of the pressure you have been under. Being backed into the Bankruptcy corner is unfortunate; however, I see filing for BK as a step toward the cure.