How do you get sued if you're not there? We're also in DEEP HOCK!!

[debtmonster]

My throat is on fire right now. I just had it out with my wife BIG TIME. I told her we're doing BK. She yelled at me, "You go do it yourself."

I've had it. I want to burn this house to the ground right now. I can't stand it. These possessions are not worth having. I'm not hauling anything anywhere. If a creditor wants anything, they can come here and take it.

I've been going through our on-line bill-pays trying to get all of the account numbers and addresses. It's going to take a while. I have debts from over 10 years ago that I need to dig up.

I will have to wait for all of the statements to come in so I can put the addresses, account #'s and total balance. There's a ton of information that I don't have access to right now.

The way this is looking, it's going to be a bankruptcy/divorce. My hand is probably broken right now from smashing it on the desk and punching walls and doors. I just want to take everything I have and smash it with a hammer. My blood is boiling right now like you cannot believe.

I have no idea what this stuff is worth at flea market value and I'm going to pay any money to drag it any place to try to liquidate it.

The whole thing that spawned this off tonight is when I went to run the reporting on my MLM and saw that my check is going to drop $700-800. When I went to the on-line bill-pay summary and saw that we were at $2400 and counting... and that didn't include the electric, payments to the IRS, the payments on two of the cars, food, gas and tons of other stuff, that's when alarm bells went on FULL BLAST. At this point, BK is 100% inevitable. We don't have a single prayer at paying this stuff off.

It's so bad that I don't even want to keep this house. I'd rather default on it as well and go rent a room some place for $400/mo. What I'm so afraid of is that I go bankrupt, it all clears and then the MLM income tanks even further to the point where I can't afford the mortgage, property taxes and home owner's insurance. The recession is affecting my MLM sales badly. The only way I can live super cheap is by divorce and living like a bachelor by renting a small room and driving a ratty 10+ year old Kia or something.

2002-2003 is happening to me all over again. I'm gonna lose it all.

I told my wife we need to give ALL of it back and start over. She's boiling mad and we've been having a screaming match FOR 3-4 hours now. She's in the WORST DENIAL you could ever imagine. Every time I try to talk to her about this, she keeps trying to change the conversation thinking that this is going to go away. It's not! And in 90 days WE WILL BE WALKING!!! The nearest grocery store is a 12 mile round-trip walk up and down a bunch of hills. Even a bicycle would wear you out carrying a bunch of heavy groceries.

I am so depressed right now like you have no idea. If I could get my hand on a pistol, I would have put it in my mouth and pulled the trigger today. I only see the situation getting worse, even with a bankruptcy. Bankruptcy will only help part of the problem. The rest of the problem is the P.I.T.I. And rent anywhere else for an apartment exceeds what we pay to live here. On top of renting, we lose almost $10,000/yr. in mortgage interest no our taxes. With a 1099, you need all the write-offs you can get.

I don't know what I am going to do now. I wish somebody could come here in person and help out. If somebody knows a credit council place I can go to near zip code 34470, I would love to go.

If I took my check and paid the mortgage only, it would take us forever to buy a reliable used car for cash since I will have next to no disposable income even without paying any creditors other than mortgage-related stuff and basic utilities.

I wish we could sell this house and move, but that's not going to happen in the real world. 3 other houses 600 yards away prove that.

[debtmonster]

Peace... I am done with this thread since as I sit here typing this out Citi Bank is now calling at 5:45pm on a Sunday... <sigh>

Why was Citibank calling you for?

You're preaching to the choir. You haven't told me anything I didn't already know. My wife doesn't seem to see it this way. I told her all the same stuff you told me. She simply doesn't want to talk about money or anything. She wants to ignore it all as if it will go away.

I think we should just let it all go, do a BK and then move back in with her parents for a while and pool incomes together under the same household. The grocery store and other places are bike riding distance away. The Winn Dixie is 18 miles from here. Publix and Walmart are about 25 miles. If we moved back to South Florida, everything is convenient and we'd be close to family. I felt happier then having nothing. We got a taste of what it was like to have money for a while and now it's all gone.

[aachudneymiles]

sounds to me your wife is misled if she thinks she need a 50k car to live. wow there is nothing remotely funny or great about being in debt.. good luck

[aachudneymiles]

<sigh> After reading all these posts I just cant be quiet and my intent is to NOT be mean or overly critical. We all are here for our own reasons.

You and your wife have a problem…an addiction and you wont admit it. You can’t stop buying. You talk about how you “were able to pay all your bills in 2007” wow…one whole year of paying all your bills <bravo>. But yet you made over $100K and do not have more than $100 in the bank. Well you know what its time to face reality. If you needed the “cars” so badly, and you don’t, get rid of them. You talk about how you don’t want to buy used with 100K but yet all most all your cars have 100K on them already. Makes no sense! So you stop paying on the CC’s and the cars. Now you have cash to work with and buy used vehicles. Your wife doesn’t want to give up her car…great tell her to pay for it and the gas, oil, maintenance and insurance then and she can keep it. If not then let the cars get repo’d . Stop acting like little spoiled kids. You are big spoiled kids. You brag about how you were evicted before, how you racked up a ton of debt in 2003 and never paid it, how you were able to buy not one, not two but three 07 cars with a repo and made over $100K and have no reserves at all. But yet you don’t have dime one to pay anything and you make $2-3K a month. You need help period. You and your wife need to pull your head out of your butt’s and realize what you have done. I doubt anyone gives a crap that you bought $1600 worth of stereo equipment and don’t want to lose it, but yet you run out of gas because you have no money. It plain out makes no sense. So the next time your sitting on the side of the road in your 07 car with no gas just think of when you get home how you can sit in front of your TV and listen to that $1600 stereo system. Or maybe while you walk home it will be a nice reward after walking 30 miles to be able to relax and listen to it.

Second Florida down in the Keys is the scooter capitol of the world. I know this since I buy scooter parts from a place in the Keys. You can buy a decent used scooter for less than $500. Not some new $5300 scooter….geezus…this is part of the pull your head out of your butt thing!! You don’t need nor can your afford a $5300 scooter and why in the hell would you spend $5300 on a scooter when you could buy a used Kia with 30 or 40K on it for that price with the remainder of the 7/100K warranty?

You just don’t get it. At the rate your going your not trying to save anything or yourself you just want a place to whine and brag. Well soon the parties over and you will lose the cars, get judgments and liens on the house and most likely lose the house. You need financial counseling and an attorney. Stop paying the CC’s and car payments and in one month you can afford an attorney and buy gas.

For me, I had a business fail, I had an almost 800 credit score and I did pay all my bills for the last 25 years. I was a big spoiled kid and I racked up $120K in CC debt and an upside down mortgage in a rehab house. But reality hit and I had to make the decision in December what to do. So I stopped paying everything, use the CC to buy living items and household items until they were cut off. I have sold off everything I don’t need and continue to sell of stuff so I can to put money in my cookie jar and always try to maintain no less than $4K and I haven’t had reportable income since 06. I sold all my cars with payments and bought used cars. I own six cars out right and only make payments on my new 5th wheel that I live in. Most of the cars and other business equipment is encumbered with a personal loan and a UCC filing to make me judgment proof. I pay my medical, utilites, and the basics. I know I am going to get sued but so what. Just have to deal with it as it comes. A BK in the future and will take care of any judgments so why worry.

Point is YOU have to decide what YOU need to do. No one else can tell you what to do. Stop the poor me, if I only had $XXXX more per month I could do this or that. Either go out and get more per month or cut out that much per month. At this point worrying about being sued is the last thing you need to worry about if your running out of gas. That alone to me is a sure sign of someone who is oblivious to everything. I mean I doubt the gas gauge on your car is not working. And you know how far it is to get home or the next gas station. Really, your running out of gas and being stuck on the side of the road is the reason you are where you are. Take a few minutes to think about what I said and you will realize what I mean. If you still don’t get it it means this. If you cant prepare far enough in advance to make the same trip you usually do in your car and you run out of gas and sit on the side of the road with no way to help yourself, doesn’t this mirror the rest of your life? Either that or you learned what the E means on that gauge. Just like the in life…the Big E mean you ran out! You have to deal with NOW...TODAY and what you need to live on. If it means selling things, sell them with no gas, food or power it really wont matter if you have an 07 car, a new moped or anything. Maybe rent the movie Fun With Dick and Jane...LOL Gives a good perspective on what happens.

Amen!!!! I posted before reading everyhting but going back BIG you took the words out my mouth!!!!! your beyond help- sound like your wife may need a doctor or therapist or something.

[debtmonster]

Because I had a business venture fail and I have over $120K in CC debt that I stopped paying on in December, a rehab house thats gutted out that I cant get any money to complete thats is now 3 months behind that I am letting go back to the lenders since its not worth trying to complete since the market is in the toilet and the area was just declared a flood zone by FEMA. Plus I am a general contractor and there is no work right now. I lost over $100K of my own cash on this deal and it left me broke. I even sued the seller and netted about $30K after the attorney from what should have been almost a $90K settlement but the arbitrator missed something.

I am judgment proof at this time and so I am in no hurry to file BK might as well wait until I "need" to file. So will probably file sometime in 09.

On average I get from 3 to 15 calls per day from creditors. I tell them the same story and thats all I tell them.

Like I told GE Money (the worst) if and when I have the funds to pay you I will period end of discussion. First is my 5th wheel payment (my home), car insurance, food, basic needs and health insurance. I have been selling off as much as I don't really truly need. There are some other tactics I have employed to use up available credit buy food, prepay health insurance etc.

That is one of the other reasons why I am waiting a year or more to file. Want to avoid any fraud claims etc. Besides when you don't have anything you don't have anything to lose. So sue me and I will answer the summons and complaint and give anyone their run for their money in court. Why make is easy for them.

Sounds like you're having a lot of fun with that. At least you had $100k of your own money to try something. I only put $3k down on my house and it took a long time to save that as it was.

I've been talking with my wife about going bankrupt all day and night. She wants no part of it. She told me, "If you want to go bankrupt, then go do it yourself." So I guess I will just do what I did in the past when I couldn't afford a bankruptcy attorney... just let it all go and wait it out for 4-5 years. That's all I can do for now. We need to make an effort to get out of this house and go live with somebody else for a while so that we're never here to get a summons.

I remember when we tried to sue somebody. Like I said in another post, the guy never answered the door when the cops came. The court in South Florida told us there was nothing we could do if he could not be served. On top of that... this guy was a relative of a major celebrity!!! He didn't want to pay the hospital bills and ambulance bills that were coming in for my wife.

After dealing with the legal system, I no longer believe in it. I truly believe if you want money from somebody, you need to get physical and go there Mafia style. I was almost ready to do that.

We just won't answer our phone or the door for a few years. We don't get phone signal out here anyway. We have to drive 20-25 miles away to get a cellphone signal. Speaking of that, both cellphones will be turned off in 30-60 days from lack of payment.

We live so remote that we get absolutely NO VISITORS whatsoever. If anybody knocks on the door unexpected, we will know not to answer. Most people can't even find this place. When Rooms To Go came, they were 3 hours late. We played phone tag with the delivery guy. He had to keep driving back to an area with cell coverage just to get my voice mails for information.

Anybody doing a repo or summons would NOT want to come all the way out here. It's very costly for fuel, especially if they have to make multiple trips if there are no answers at the door.

If anyone has to drive out here a few times, it could easily cost them $40-50 in fuel after making a few trips, if not more.

Right now, paying the mortgage, home owner's insurance, property taxes, fuel for cars, food and money for the IRS is more important than a bunch of money doing a bankruptcy.

I don't understand why bankruptcy is not like a $100 dollar thing. Why does an attorney have to charge so much money for doing nothing more than data entry into existing forms that he has? People are broke to begin with. They shouldn't have to spend $1300-2200 for a bankruptcy. That's just ridiculous. What does it take them, 30 minutes of data entry? I mean, c'mon, please. How difficult could it possibly be? It's not like they are making the forms from scratch every single time. They have them made as templates or they use software which takes them no real time at all to do.

[Flamingo]

Debtmonster; if you are so broke and cannot afford an attorney, investigate Legal Aid in your State which is available for hardship cases. You can obtain the phone number by calling your State Bar Assoc. or looking in your phone book under the State section in the social services listings. Attorney's charge fees for their services as do doctors, plumbers, electricians, etc. Bankruptcies involve a lot of paperwork, time and legwork to complete. While people think attorney's fees are outrageous, they are not for the time involved. In a Chapter 13 an attorney represents people over a 3 to 5 year period for that amount of money. That money also includes the filing fee to the Court which is usually around $500 or more.

I knew you were in for a showdown with your wife when you posted early on that your wife did not want to give up your new luxury car. As you have discovered, she and you were both in denial over your entire situation and you were scrambling to figure out a way out and keep everything. I would also suggest seeing your family doctor and tell him what is going on and how you feel. While emotions run high during financial problems (I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown prior to our filing), rage and harm thoughts as you are having are not normal and not worth it over material items. Also it might be of help for both of you to see a marriage counselor if you decide you want to save your marriage. All the problems you are experiencing are the result of both of your doings and will just continue on if you don't find the root of the cause.

[debtmonster]

Seeing a doctor is out of the question. We don't have insurance or any money to pay and doctor visits are not free.

Bankruptcy should be paid for by the state. When you're broke, you're broke! Squeezing more money out of you when you have none makes no sense.

There's a TON of stuff that won't go away even after a bankruptcy. That's what I need help with. The mortgage, property taxes, gas, electric, phone, food, the on-going payments to the IRS, buying a used car once they take the ones we have away, etc. This is all big bucks. The MLM only only pays the absolute minimums. It could be a year or so before we find jobs again, if that. If this recession lingers into a depression and haunts us for 3-10 years... then I don't know.

I'll try looking in the phone book for what you said and see if I can find anything. At least that is helpful advice.

[chpxiii]

We got a taste of what it was like to have money for a while and now it's all gone.

That's because *YOU* never "had it." It had *YOU.*

Good luck!

[qwertysue]

I've been talking with my wife about going bankrupt all day and night. She wants no part of it.

I hate to break it to your wife, but you guys are already bankrupt and from the sounds of it have been for a while: (n) bankrupt, insolvent (someone who has insufficient assets to cover their debts)

Bankruptcy on the other hand is to actually take responsibility for those debts in some legal manner.

There are a whole bunch of issues here, a lot of which, in order to lead a happy, fulfilling life need to be dealt with. If your wife is satisified with your current lifestyle and you're satisified making up a ton of excuses then do nothing.

If you are unhappy, then you are responsible for changing things--and make things happen (believe me, if you want something, you will find a way past those excuses).

.

[unsecured]

Is it possible to rent someplace cheaper then your mortgage,if it is just the 2 of you, that would save that amount + insurance and taxes...and if you get something closer to work, fuel cost.

Why do 2 drivers have 3 autos...if you stop paying for the house and autos..dear wifey will have to do something,,,,like it or not

[Flamingo]

Seeing a doctor is out of the question. We don't have insurance or any money to pay and doctor visits are not free.
Bankruptcy should be paid for by the state. When you're broke, you're broke! Squeezing more money out of you when you have none makes no sense.

With no income, you can investigate welfare and food stamps and you would be eligible for free medical care also. Since your debts so outweigh your assets and you have no income, you are insolvent (bankrupt). What are you going to do if you or your wife get ill with all the debt you have and no insurance? When you lost your jobs were you not offered COBRA benefits? Again, there is Legal Aid to help you out - all you have to do is open the phone book or call information for the phone number. Also, the state should not be responsible for anyone who runs up debts that they know they cannot pay. It's not like you had a heart attack and incurred $100,000 in medical bills - you went and bought vehicles and household items you really coudn't afford. Many people who are broke and have to file get the money somehow either by not paying their bills prior to filing (as you were previously advised by another poster) or borrowing from family/friends if at all possible.

There's a TON of stuff that won't go away even after a bankruptcy. That's what I need help with. The mortgage, property taxes, gas, electric, phone, food, the on-going payments to the IRS, buying a used car once they take the ones we have away, etc. This is all big bucks. The MLM only only pays the absolute minimums. It could be a year or so before we find jobs again, if that. If this recession lingers into a depression and haunts us for 3-10 years... then I don't know.

Again, there is public assistance and food stamps. It's there for a reason just like bankruptcy. The only person who can help both you and your wife right now is you cause your wife just does not want to face this mess but will soon see the repo man coming to your door.

I'll try looking in the phone book for what you said and see if I can find anything. At least that is helpful advice.

I feel really bad for you in this situation but after going back over your original postings, realize you have more going on here than debt problems. I hope you see that - none of it is going to go away on its own. I hope some of these reponses you have been receiving will give you the incentive to actually investigate your options before you get further down that black hole that is enveloping your financial house.

[debtmonster]

That's because *YOU* never "had it." It had *YOU.*

Good luck!

We only got to look at it. Man, it will SUCK going back to a used car. I have no way to rebuild transmissions, change CV joints and all that crap. That's why I got new cars in the first place. I got tired of being broken down on the side of the road and it takes way too many years to save up $17,000 to $25,000 for a new car. The only good thing is that by 2010, stability control is supposed to be standard on a lot of cars. So if I lose the cars I have, I won't mind the wait.

[debtmonster]

Is it possible to rent someplace cheaper then your mortgage,if it is just the 2 of you, that would save that amount + insurance and taxes...and if you get something closer to work, fuel cost.

Why do 2 drivers have 3 autos...if you stop paying for the house and autos..dear wifey will have to do something,,,,like it or not

Our mortgage is $821/mo. 2 and 3 bedroom apartments will cost a hell of a lot more than that. If they would lower the prices back to what they were years ago making it $500-600/mo., I would do it.

Everything in my life is so complex. You'd have to be here in person to understand. Reading text on a web site doesn't give you the entire picture.

[debtmonster]

Oh no you have to go back and read the post about why they cant rent since he had an eviction back in 03 or something. There is an EXCUSE for everything. There is an excuse as to why his wife is in denial, why he cant sell any useless assets, why he cant pay for gas, why he cant get medical (should be able to get assistance from the state or at least a hardship case from the hospital) crap who cares go to the ER and be seen for anxiety and include that in the BK. But no there is an excuse for not being able to get legal help, excuse for running out of gas, excuse for why his MLM business is losing money, excuse for why hes not saving for taxes (be the last thing I would ever want to go through again was to go round with the IRS they will take all your crap!) excuses as to why no one would dare drive out to serve them (even though it could be done with a summons by publication) and lets not leave out the repo man...they never make multiple trips and waste gas (that you pay for) to do a repo. I owned a repo company for almost 15 years and I would camp out near your house all night if I had too if I knew you were home. But lets not forget that with a replevin I can just bring the Sheriff along and have them force the garage open to take the vehicle.

You see the Sheriff will only make a few attempts to serve people a process server or PI will get the job done. Also you don't have to open the door to be served. The server just has to slip it under the door or even attach it the door of your residence to make service (yes I used to also serve papers). So then you say...wait I wasn't properly served!!! So you show up in court and say "Judge they didn't serve me correctly you need to throw the case out" Judge says " if you weren't served properly how did you know to be here to contest the service of process?" Sorry you lose!!

Well just keep making excuses I am sure your lenders, the repo man and everyone else will agree your screwed and just give us a call when you unscrew yourself...LMAO ....NOT!

As for your wife...first car I would get rid of is hers, she not working she doesn't need it...or tell her she wants to keep it...pay for it. Its really that simple!

Personally if it was me...and I knew what needed to be done I wouldn't let even my spouse stand in the way of self preservation. Also not sure I would want to be married to someone who was not working as a partner to resolve the issues.

So you need legal advice (AKA legal aid) you might file for a legal separation to protect yourself so she cant create any more community debt. Then you can file BK alone and be free as a bird and stick her with it all.

Bottom line is ....grow up act like a man, stop making excuses and deal with what is inevitable. Not answering the phone or the door wont stop what is going to happen. Its only changes the rules of the game and the new rules are really not in your favor.

OK as I said once before I am done with this thread I cant stand all talk and no action with a dog pile of excuses.

I'd be happy to go with you to the apartment complex and apply and you can watch them turn me away.

Where do I come up with $2,000 to move in to pay for first, last and security? You guys fail to explain where I will be between all of the months I have no house and car to save up the thousands needed to put a roof and car in the yard.

Your posts are not helping matters in the least.

[debtmonster]

Also, we can go to the E.R. and they will just send us a $2,000+ bill for diagnosing my upper respiratory problems. The problem I have is that they won't pay me the $212/mo. I need for Advair since inhalers don't work. And they won't pay $60/mo. for the Prilosec for my acid reflux. There's an excuse for everything because what you have posted HAS BEEN TRIED ALREADY!! You have not posted anything I didn't try or know already. Insulting my hardship is just making it worse. Why don't you do what you said and bring a gun so I can end it. I'll give you my camera so you can post the pictures of my brain fragments on the roof. You can put the camera in video mode so that the cops won't think you did it. The proof will be in the video that it was self-inflicted. My friend in school did this. Another good friend of mine's friend up in the northeast recently did this last month. He had an MBA and everything.