What do you tell friends and family

[BearChaser303]

I'm just curious, when you are facing foreclosure and you dont want your friends and/or family to know about it what do you tell them? Do you tell them you sold your house, or what?

I have certain close friends who know about it, but I don't want family such as parents, brothers, sisters, etc to know because they have their own problems. I am perfectly fine with the foreclosure and actually cant wait for it to be complete but dont want them stressing over it which will in turn stress me out.

[One Half Full]

I have a strange take on this: My family is the type that will never tell you what is going on when it is going on. Seriously. "Oh, by the way, I won the Pulitzer prize." "Didn't you know I got married last year?" Stuff like that... I personally don't like being treated like it is not my business, and yet, it really is not my business. While it is good to bring people into the loop, it is also good to keep your private business private. I suppose whether you tell or not depends on what their reactions have been in the past to other unfortunate revelations. Since you worry about them stressing, obviously, they stress more than provide you with a foil or a support network. I told my brother about the "possible" BK when it was still just a thought. He freaked. He sent money (which I sent back) he ended up insinuating that I was a dummy, and that ended the conversation for me. I found out that he considered people who go BK as no better than shop-lifters. I never told him another thing. Maybe you can just talk about "all the people losing their houses" and gauge whether they are sympathetic or not. That might at least tell you what reaction you might get if you told.

[woohoogirl]

I'm not going through a foreclosure, but I thought about what I would say in that case. You could say that you and the bank have come to an agreement and you are giving them the house since you are tired of making the payments and with the housing market being what it is today, you'd were more than happy to take this "arrangement" with them. You're not really lying, just painting a prettier picture for those people to see.

That's my 2 cents

[Minnymouth]

Unfortunately, bankruptcy and foreclosure is on public records......
AND eventually you won't be living there...... so what will you tell them then?

Tell them nothing, till they ask..... when they do tell them you made a financial business decision.... especially if you owe more on the house than it will sell for in todays market.

Kind of hard to avoid them if their family, just DON'T TELL THEM YET....... wait till its all over or they ask..

[yak411]

I can understand not wanting everyone to know about the home. I would not worry about them finding out about it in the local paper or at the courthouse (unless they work there). Most people do not learn of foreclocures like this. The best thing to say is that you have decided to downsize and are making arrangments for the move. Unless you are asked specific questions then this should suffice. Not to mention you are not lying. In the event that you are asked about the sale of the home before moving just state that the sale is in the works. I mean it will be sold again once you move out. If by chance family members find out the truth just let them know that you did not want to worry them. After all you have discussed this with an attorney and made the decision that it was the best thing to do! Good Luck!

[lovescats1956]

We told our family we "sold" the house. It was just too embarrassing to tell anyone the truth.

[cool33097]

That is what we are telling everybody............Our house is on the market.

[Flamingo]

I'm just curious, when you are facing foreclosure and you dont want your friends and/or family to know about it what do you tell them? Do you tell them you sold your house, or what?

I have certain close friends who know about it, but I don't want family such as parents, brothers, sisters, etc to know because they have their own problems. I am perfectly fine with the foreclosure and actually cant wait for it to be complete but dont want them stressing over it which will in turn stress me out.

There is no need to tell anyone you don't want to know about your personal life. Only if you tell someone about your situation will they know. With a foreclosure, your name does not appear publically in the newspaper as it does with bankruptcy filing listings so unless someone would go actually snoop in the property records or works for the bank or lender handling your foreclosure, thre is no need to worry about someone finding out without you or one of your friends/family who knows telling them. If asked for some reason, just be honest and state your family got caught up in the sub prime mess as millions of others and you just had to get out and start fresh. Or you can just tell them your family had a life event and you got out of it, are recovering, and leave it at that.