What was your opinion of BK before you got into financial troubles?

[anonymuse]

After 5 months on these boards my perception of bankruptcy sure has changed!

The only thing I ever knew about BK was that people like Trump could file it and still live the high life while maintaining the lifestyle of a billionaire! In the media, we are shown business bankruptcies and I knew very little if anything about personal bankruptcy. I was under the misperception that people that file for BK were either extremely poor (below the poverty level) or they couldn't manage their money and bought frivolous items on credit cards with the intent to abuse the system. Boy, was I wrong!

Even last year when the laws changed, I played absolutely no attention to it. I can only remember a picture on the news of people standing all the way around two blocks from work trying to file in time.

The only time I had thought of BK for myself was when I couldn't afford COBRA health insurance anymore, I said to myself that if something tragic happened, then BK would be an out; however, I still didn't know the details of it.

Around February, my father told me that he was listening to a talk radio show and they said that someone with an income below 40K in Colorado might be eligible for a BK. I was bawling, I was ashamed of myself, and I wouldn't even consider it.

As my prospects for a better job and better health weren't looking up, I started investigating BK.

In some aspects, it almost seemed "too easy" to me since the paperwork (while not exactly clear) seemed do-able. I really thought there would be a lot more documentation required to support everything in the schedules. On the other side, the prospect of gathering and consolidating the paperwork was going to be the greatest challenge.

The one thing that I was really surprised about was there was not any narrative required with the paperwork. I'm not sure what I expected, but I thought you would have to explain what events precipitated your filing and you would somehow be "judged" on whether the reason you got in over your head was "acceptable" to be granted a discharge. Or maybe I thought you'd have to explain what happened in the 341 meeting?

What was your opinion of BK and/or how did you think it would work before you ever got into financial straits?

[lrprn]

After 5 months on these boards my perception of bankruptcy sure has changed!

My perception about bk has turned around 180 degrees too, Anon.

Before we found ourselves here, I thought many of the same things you did - that money mismanagement or fraud was the reason most people filed bk, and that no one who really understood how to handle money could ever end up in bankruptcy. I knew a few people filed because of medical bills, but I had no idea how many others file because of job loss, divorce, spouse's death, etc - reasons totally out of their control.

I'm deeply ashamed now that I was so blindly oblivious to the truth. And I also realize that the majority of people who haven't known someone who filed bk probably thinks just what I did for so many years. With all the money on their side, the credit lenders have done a darned good "psych" job on the American public.

[debtisbad]

Actually, I think BK has totally changed. All of us it seems were raised with decent values and that included ALWAYS paying your bills on time. Thing is, this is a different America today, no steady jobs, nothing is permanent. Here I am in my 40's going back to college. I would never have imagined it. And I have no choice, I have to be re educated. Organic chemistry is about to kick my butt!!! I have been at it all day!!!!!

[lrprn]

Actually, I think BK has totally changed. All of us it seems were raised with decent values and that included ALWAYS paying your bills on time. Thing is, this is a different America today, no steady jobs, nothing is permanent. Here I am in my 40's going back to college. I would never have imagined it. And I have no choice, I have to be re educated. Organic chemistry is about to kick my butt!!! I have been at it all day!!!!!

I feel your pain, DIB! I went back to graduate school in my late 40s - I swear my adult brain just did not want to wrap around anything new. It took me three times longer to learn something compared to when I was in my 20s. Hang in there - organic will come to an end. (Do you have those wonderful little "tinker toy" pieces that get put together to create different molecules? I'm such a visual learner - they really helped me!)

[NowOrNever]

My upbringing was frugal. Not restrictive, but we sure didn't get whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. As a result, my parents were both able to retire comfortably at age 52. They have been going strong in retirement for over 20 years and have a much more active social life than we do. They own 2 homes, 3 cars, a boat and a plane. This was self-made, not inherited wealth. But still, they are vicious shoppers and it can take them a year of shopping around to buy a new car. They don't know the meaning of 'impulse purchase'.

For years, every time we'd make a purchase - car, horse, motorcycle - my folks would always say "Don't live above your means. Plan for the future." I obviously didn't heed their advice. Now we have a Chap 7 in progress and I wouldn't dream of letting anyone in my family know. My brother won't buy anything on credit. Cash for everything - car, house, etc.

We have some good friends who filed Chap 7 a couple of years ago. I remember when she told me, that I felt bad for their situation, but didn't think any less of them. Their's was a medical issue. I remember when she told me they'd gotten their discharge and explained to me what that meant. The only emotion I felt was jealousy at them not having to pay CC debt. Even two years ago we were over our heads.

I'm ashamed of what we've had to do, but by the same token, I'm relieved to be out from under what was an insurmountable amount of debt. I never really understood what BK meant until now. I sure never thought I'd have to find out.

Also, to DIB, good luck with your studies. Some of my co-workers and I had to take some college classes a year ago to learn a new programming language. I was scared to death after being out of college for 20 years. But it was alot of fun. You're going to do great!

[Worried Mom]

I have never felt badly about those who have had to file for whatever reason. You sometimes have no control over things that can turn your life upside down. I come here to bring information back to my son who really needs to file soon. He had everything going for him, made a few poor financial decisions and now he's down on his luck. I'm sorry it happened to him but I don't think any less of him.

I don't think any less of anyone who's posting here. Mr. Worried & I are currently in good financial shape, but who knows what will happen down the road. A loved one in a long term care facility? An under-insured son in need of medical care? An earthquake? Seriously, stuff happens that can just mess up the best laid plans.

I bet all of you have done the best you can with your situation. I'm willing to bet that this nice group of people has helped to make this process a bit more bearable.

[SinkingFast]

Actually, I think BK has totally changed. All of us it seems were raised with decent values and that included ALWAYS paying your bills on time. Thing is, this is a different America today, no steady jobs, nothing is permanent. Here I am in my 40's going back to college. I would never have imagined it. And I have no choice, I have to be re educated. Organic chemistry is about to kick my butt!!! I have been at it all day!!!!!

That hit the nail on the head!!

My Dad worked the same job for the same company for 29 years. He was gonna retire with full benefits and 30 years on the job at age 57. He died 6 months before he was scheduled to retire.

Hubby's Dad retired with full benefits at age 62 and a half after 35 years working the same job with the same company.

Since we've been married, Hubby's had 7 jobs with 7 different employers. Make that 11 employers if you count all the mergers, buyouts, and name changes at one location. That doesn't include the jobs during college to pay for school.

We'd already known a couple of people who'd filed BK.

One couple, the guy took a Civie job after several years in the Navy. The "pay" was the same, they lost bennies and perks. No commissary to shop in at reduced cost. No free medical. Not that military medical had been great, but it was free. Lost several other military perks. Needless to say, a few years out of the military and they were in deep on their CC's for every day expenses.

Another gal we knew filed after a long, nasty divorce and custody dispute.

We never thought any less of them. Just good people who fell on hard times.

In our case, it was very much Lemony Snicket. Definitely A Series of Unfortunate Events.

[GoingUnderInNV]

I always thought it was an easy out of debt for anyone that filed. Now that I have some experience with it, I have a newfound respect for Chapter 13ers. We're not really getting out of anything: it's more of a court-ordered repayment plan (in my case a good thing, since schmuck MBNA didn't want to work with me on repayment).

[miss puff]

my misconception of BK was always on the other side of it. I didn't think I would be able to get any kind of credit, house, car ANYTHING for 10 years. That we would be in some type of poverty level. I didn't know you could "re-build" after a BK. That you would have options after BK. Just thought it was BK and BK final and you had to live with it for 10 years flat.

We are one of the BK filers that didn't have a major catastrophe to file. We were poor savers and even worse spenders. We managed to always get by with minimum payments and then they would send those checks in the mail for jeez, like $4,000 and when your feeling broke all the time it was like "WOOHOO". So we got to the point where we were paying minimums and then recharging gas, groceries, anything and everything. It spiraled very quick. Started looking up CC services and BK and saw that there WAS a life after BK and started investigating more thoroughly BK.

And here I am now. Filed with stomach in knots about my 341 on Monday wondering, still, if we did the right thing.

[Credit Hater]

I never gave much thought to it until I couldn't make cc payments anymore. Then as the cc companies wouldn't even try to work with me, I said the heck with it and started researching bk.

[CATCHMEIFYOUCAN]

More power to the peop's who survive BK, new laws or naught!

I'm had my 341 meeting and am waiting to see the judge to confirm a payment plan

I don't like what I foresee, but Bk13 is there for a reason. We don't pay good money for nothing.

Catchmeifyoucan

[JusticeForAll]

I couldn't agree more! They always say if you can't pay to call, but when you call they do nothing!!! Jacking up the interest rates to 30% on someone who is already in trouble doesn't make sense to me.

So instead of working with me on paying it back, they got nothing but dust in their pockets!

Back on topic:

I never had a preconceived notion of BK. I've worked in the accounting field my whole life so I've always understood what it meant. I always knew there were people who really needed it and those that abused the system.

My thing is that even knowing about BK Laws for many years, I'm still astonished that it's legal and our right as American's to file. (doesn't mean we'll get discharged, but it's our right to try!)

We are lucky to have a system that allows us to do it. Although I must say that with the new laws (I was old law Ch 13 converted to 7) being in a Chapter 13 seems like cruel and unusual punishment. I feel lucky that I filed before the new laws came into affect and commend anyone who is paying back a 13 without going insane! That's got to be stressful, being under the thumb of the trustee for how ever many years.

Oops, run on, I'll shut up now!

I never gave much thought to it until I couldn't make cc payments anymore. Then as the cc companies wouldn't even try to work with me, I said the heck with it and started researching bk.

[ekelly4200]

[QUOTE=miss puff;65090]my misconception of BK was always on the other side of it. I didn't think I would be able to get any kind of credit, house, car ANYTHING for 10 years. That we would be in some type of poverty level. I didn't know you could "re-build" after a BK. That you would have options after BK. Just thought it was BK and BK final and you had to live with it for 10 years flat.

We are one of the BK filers that didn't have a major catastrophe to file. We were poor savers and even worse spenders. We managed to always get by with minimum payments and then they would send those checks in the mail for jeez, like $4,000 and when your feeling broke all the time it was like "WOOHOO". So we got to the point where we were paying minimums and then recharging gas, groceries, anything and everything. It spiraled very quick. Started looking up CC services and BK and saw that there WAS a life after BK and started investigating more thoroughly BK.

QUOTE]
This is us as well. Just wayyyy over extended. We made very stupid and unwise mistakes. Whats one more min CC payment right? well those add up quickly! And once the CC companies started playing games like increasing fee's, deliberately not posting payments=late/overlimit fee's there was no getting out of it. Also several of them would not go into the DMP. That was the final nail in the coffin. I tried in good faith to repay but they left me no choice. At this point I am more worried about where I am getting lunch money for the kids than CC mins.

[razorguns]

circumstances beyond my control forced me into bk. primarily medical. I'm like the poster boy for bk.

r