I found this forum on goggle, and would just like to throw my story out there. I'm 42 years old, and my wife is 40. We've been together 16 years, and have two sons, 7 and 13. We live in a modest home that we bought for 140k, that is now valued at 300k. We have 401k holdings of about 98k. I earn 50k a year, while my wife makes 45k.
What brings this tale of happy middle class living to halt is the fact that my wife is a compulsive gambler. For the 16 years we have been together, she has repeatedly snuck around a gambled. When I met her she was 15k in the hole. We worked through that. Throughout our years together, up until 2003, she had run up a total of 39k in gambling debts at various times. Everytime came the promise that she would stop. In 2003, she actually went to 15 therapy sessions. I kept VERY close tabs on her finances, but it wasn't good enough. 10 days ago she dropped the bomb. She had run up another 88k in gambling debt. What she had done is used our excellent credit to open personal lines of credit at banks, that I don't bank at. Basically unsecured loans. These are all in her name alone.
I have had enough. I love her, and she is the mother of my 2 boys, but this insanity has to stop. We have done some serious talking this last week, and she admits to me that she can not stop gambling, and infact, to use her words at one point: doesn't really want to.
This will destroy our boys, but I'm going to divorce her. I still love her, but I have put up with this behavior for to long. She said to me that her plan is to file for bankruptcy. I told her she needs therapy. When she called a bankruptcy lawyer to arrange for a free consult, he told her we had enough equity in our house to pay off her loans. I don't want to refinance my house, pay off her debt, and then cut her loose just to gamble some more.
She told me she would give me an uncontested divorce, and give me child support. I doubt I'll see many payments. If we do get divorced, is she even capable of going bankrupt if she gives me the house? How will she live? All she has is her car, that's paid off. She's planning on moving into her mother's house.
This is harder to write then I thought.
Any thoughts or advice would be welcome.
What brings this tale of happy middle class living to halt is the fact that my wife is a compulsive gambler. For the 16 years we have been together, she has repeatedly snuck around a gambled. When I met her she was 15k in the hole. We worked through that. Throughout our years together, up until 2003, she had run up a total of 39k in gambling debts at various times. Everytime came the promise that she would stop. In 2003, she actually went to 15 therapy sessions. I kept VERY close tabs on her finances, but it wasn't good enough. 10 days ago she dropped the bomb. She had run up another 88k in gambling debt. What she had done is used our excellent credit to open personal lines of credit at banks, that I don't bank at. Basically unsecured loans. These are all in her name alone.
I have had enough. I love her, and she is the mother of my 2 boys, but this insanity has to stop. We have done some serious talking this last week, and she admits to me that she can not stop gambling, and infact, to use her words at one point: doesn't really want to.
This will destroy our boys, but I'm going to divorce her. I still love her, but I have put up with this behavior for to long. She said to me that her plan is to file for bankruptcy. I told her she needs therapy. When she called a bankruptcy lawyer to arrange for a free consult, he told her we had enough equity in our house to pay off her loans. I don't want to refinance my house, pay off her debt, and then cut her loose just to gamble some more.
She told me she would give me an uncontested divorce, and give me child support. I doubt I'll see many payments. If we do get divorced, is she even capable of going bankrupt if she gives me the house? How will she live? All she has is her car, that's paid off. She's planning on moving into her mother's house.
This is harder to write then I thought.
Any thoughts or advice would be welcome.
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