New Here and really needing input

[dover]

Okay, here is my story. Got divorced in March. Husband became addicted to a precription drug and began running up my credit cards (all in my name) and pretty much cleaned me out. He now sits in jail for multiple charges. I can't explain how the divorce papers are worded BUT my bankrupcy attorney said they are not sure I will be able to even file but they will try.

My real question is, in order to pay off my debts of about $20,000plus a car that I owe $8,500 (only worth about $5,500) and pay my mortgage all on my own, I would have to at least get a second job as I do not make enough to survive. I have played the credit card transfer game, I've gotten a roommate and have even gotten a second job but the second job was only temporary and ended and my roommate moved out to live on her own. I am up a creek and frankly I am very tired of pulling this weight.

It isn't really a ton of debt compared to some on this board but it is a lot for me. Another big issue is my mother told my siblings about what I was thinking and now they are all trying to give me money here and there but they have their own lives and I don't want to be borrowing from them. But it would help not to have to pay something back with interest.

I think about this on a constant basis and I am can't tell you how overwhelmed and embarrassed I feel on a daily basisl. I just want it to go away but am I taking the easy way out? Should I just let them help or just make a clean break from it all. I guess what still scares me is the way my divorce was worded. I pretty much waived my ex-husand off because I wanted him out of my life and I knew he would not be able to pay. It worked when I had my partner but when I lost him to drugs I lost a lot. I am planning on holding onto my house but can't do it with all these extra bills. It is making me crazy. Any input, insight would be greatly appreciated. Whew!

[keepmine]

What is it about the divorce decree that is causing your lawyer some concern?

[lrprn]

Hi Dover and welcome to BK Forum! Glad you found us!

Sounds like you have had quite an ordeal. Life can really dish out some bad times - you've had more than your share

We can help you more if you can share a little more information:
- What state are you in?
- Looking back the last 6 full calendar months, how much income have you made from all sources?
- Do you have any other children or adults living with you now?
- Did you purchase your car more than or less than 910 days ago?

Also like Keepmine, I'm wondering what your lawyer is seeing in your divorce decree that blocks you from filing bankruptcy?

Hang in there, Dover, and hang around here with us for awhile. We've all been where you are financially - not enough money to pay our bills and other obligations, and tired to the bone from trying. Bankruptcy is just financial decision, not a judgment of your worth as a person. It's not worth your sanity or your emotional well-being to keep pounding your head against an ever-increasing mountain of debt. Ask questions, vent as needed, and share the joy of good days - that's why we're here!

[dover]

I live in Colorado, I have no children and no other adults living with me. I probably made 22k the last six months. I bought my car about 4 years ago.

As I stated earlier, my family wants to help but I don't even want to have to pay them back. I just want to be done with it all but they are having a harder problem with whole bankrupcy thing than I am. When I say my family, I am talking about my three brothers. I just don't want my family involved in my financial affairs. Does it sound like I am being irresponsible by not accepting the help they want to offer? Or the fact that I only have credit card debt for about $20,000 plust my car. Seems less than so many others on this site. Just confused about everything which is why I am glad I found this site.

Again, I am at the very beginning of all this. I think that is what makes it so hard. The actually going through with the filing. I need to go and fill out all the paper work still but I have talked to a bankrupcy attorney who said I could try and file a Chapter 7.

I know if I got a second job I could pull it off but again, I am tired of "having" to work so much. This has been a hard year me, lost my father to ALS, miscarried and lost my husband to drugs. I am just tired tire tired...It is hard because I am usually such a fighter but in this case I just want to give it up. I have great credit, never late on anything, but again, without my second job and/or roommate it will not be possible to keep up because I make less than I owe.



Thanks for your input.

[Boscoe]

Hi there. You have come to the right place. First of all, do not accept anything from your family that is not cash and is not going to be deposited in a bank account. If you do file, you do not want to raise your income up at all.

Your goal is to have all your debts discharged, except your car if you have a loan and your house if you have a mortgage.

Don't beat yourself up with this, and don't take any other jobs unless you feel strongly this will get you out of your debt issues.

ok?

[Minnymouth]

Welcome to our Forum Family,

We are here to support and help you during a "trying time" in your life......

No matter the reason for you being here whether it be divorce, bad decisions, bad habits, etc..... we all have been where you are right now............. trying to decide how to solve the problem.....

Based on your salary at the present time, yes, being single it is very hard to maintain a mortgage, auto payment, etc and pay on cc bills that just "keep climbing" from the fees.

Yes, you can turn to family members to help you out - then you feel obligated to them.... OR you can work a second job and ruin your health (like I did over 4 years) trying to pay everything. Or you can discuss everything with a couple of BK attorneys and see what options are available to you to protect what assets you do have.

Bankruptcy is not a "sin"....... it is a Constitutional "right"... granted by our forefathers who realized people get into financial problems that they can't do anything about...... Even the Bible speaks of "debtors" and how they are to be forgiven!!

Bankrutpcy is a "business" decision, and treat it as such....no reason to be embarrassed, humiliated, etc. Its done everyday by people who have had crisis in their lives.... or financial disasters.

From you posting, it sounds like you need a "clean fresh start" in life..... and bankruptcy will help you do that....

Don't be too concerned about what "family THINKS, or anyone else, they don't pay your bills and won't be. You need to get your finances in order so that you can survive the future.

If you have questions, please feel free to ask, we'll offer suggestions, ideas, and guidelines to help you if we can.....

Welcome,

[JRScott]

You have the right idea about not borrowing from relatives. When you borrow from relatives it changes your relationship. It'll strain the relationship as you struggle to pay it back.

I don't see how the divorce decree could keep you from filing bankruptcy though. I don't know of anyway it really could. Most decrees from a divorce merely deal with the division of the marital estate. So long as that has been completed, then I see no reason a bankruptcy could not be filed. You might wish to consult with another 3-4 bankruptcy attorneys in your areas, most will give 1 free consultation.

Okay making 22k in last 6 months that makes it look as a 44k yearly income for a single person family. That is I believe more than the Colorado median but I"m not sure entirely. Even if it is that doesn't mean you can't file for bankruptcy. You'd just have to complete the means test and see how it came out.

It is possible your lawyer is concerned that with your income you might be pushed into a Chapter 13 rather than a Chapter 7. That's one reason I'd go talk to some more attorneys, get the feel from as many of them as you can.

One thing you might could help with in a filing of Chapter 7 is to reduce your income. That is I wouldn't take on another job.
Stretch out the filing date so that your income shows lower, stretch it out to 6 months from now if needed. This assumes you worked that part time or second job at some point in the last 6 months. During this time I'd only pay the mortgage, car, food, utilities and transportation. Only after that would I pay anything else that might be discharged in the bankruptcy. Also keep receipts to help build up what it costs for the bk filing. Then buy an answering machine. Make sure the message clearly identifies it as your home. Then also get call waiting and block all calls that refuse to show their caller ID. That'll take care of the harassing part of the collectors while you adjust.

Good Luck

[Boscoe]

One other point with the last post - as soon as you hire your lawyer and pay the retainer, refer any and all collection activities to the attorney. Once you tell them this, no more calls directly to you.

But get the answering machine and don't answer the phone if you don't know who it is. Screening calls helps reduce the stress from now until filing date. After you file, they are not legally allowed to call you or make any collection efforts.

[dover]

Thanks so much for all the support and information. It is amazing how not even your closest friends or family member really do not understand what this feel like. I am so grateful to have found this site. My attorney did think I would qualify for a Chapter 7. My mortgage alone is $1,500. That is what I pay before, food, gas and utilities. I would still only be squeaking by. I have nothing left over for anything extra like a credit card bill or car payment. I agree about feeling obligated to my family if I file. I don't want that hanging over my head. I made the mistake of telling my mom who felt the need to tell my siblings. I explained, to them yesterday that this is something I need to do and do it alone in my own way. My brother was disappointed but he understood.

Here is question, to date, nothing is late regarding any payments but like I said that was before I had a roommate and a second job. I have neither now and won't be able to continue making the payment I was making. Will not being in collections or late effect me filing?

[Boscoe]

Thanks so much for all the support and information. It is amazing how not even your closest friends or family member really do not understand what this feel like. I am so grateful to have found this site. My attorney did think I would qualify for a Chapter 7. My mortgage alone is $1,500. That is what I pay before, food, gas and utilities. I would still only be squeaking by. I have nothing left over for anything extra like a credit card bill or car payment. I agree about feeling obligated to my family if I file. I don't want that hanging over my head. I made the mistake of telling my mom who felt the need to tell my siblings. I explained, to them yesterday that this is something I need to do and do it alone in my own way. My brother was disappointed but he understood.

Here is question, to date, nothing is late regarding any payments but like I said that was before I had a roommate and a second job. I have neither now and won't be able to continue making the payment I was making. Will not being in collections or late effect me filing?

Keep paying the utility bills! And find a good lawyer soon. You may need to visit 3-4 to be sure. And don't worry, family often does not understand what it is like. Put them in your shoes, and they would do the same.....

[kiddles]

About your divorce decree - I bet the concern is that you agreed to "hold harmless" with regard to your exhusband and the debts you took responsibility for in the divorce. So, if you BK them, the creditors go after the exhusband for money, and he could then sue you to get his money back (divorce decrees only affect the people getting divorced - not the creditors. Just because you both agreed that the Visa was your responsibilty, Visa still has both names on the application (for example) and can still hold each and both of you responsible).

HOWEVER - there is some case law about the potential debt to the exspouse also being discharged in the BK. If I recall correctly, some jurisdictions say it is, and some say it isnt.

Definately something to ask your potential attorneys about. Interview several - you are hiring for a very important position (BK attorney for you) and you want to get the right one for the job.

[JRScott]

The only things you want to make sure are kept up before filing are the mortgage, utilities, and car payment if you have one. You'll take a hit in your credit report, but I would just not worry about paying another dime to the creditors. As long as you file in the next 6 months it is unlikely they'd make any move towards judgments.

You have to keep the mortgage and car up though if you plan to keep them in a Chapter 7. Utilities you need to pay too as well as normal living expenses.

You'll be okay.

[dover]

The cards are all in my name and believe me when I say my husband would never sue me for anything. He is in jail for awhile on multiple prescription fraud. Believe me when I say he would not ask for a penny. He knows he is not to get anything at all after everything he stole from me and left me with. I ended up paying thousands of dollars for his medical bills. I wish I knew filing would make all the go away. I ended up getting my checks from work garnished because he hid the fact that I had been served for the medical bills which were not even in my name. The told me I could not sue them but I know now it was a bunch of crap! Water under the bridge but it just added to my financial burden.

Question: I owe $8,000 on my car even though it is only worth $5,500. So do I just continue to pay until I finish up with the $8,000 in order to keep the car? I just didnt' get clarification on that. This is the first time I have been late (2 weeks) mainly because I actually forgot about it. I have never been late in five years except for one day.

[lrprn]

Question: I owe $8,000 on my car even though it is only worth $5,500. So do I just continue to pay until I finish up with the $8,000 in order to keep the car? I just didnt' get clarification on that.

You have to be current on your home and car to file Ch 7 and have any chance of keeping them.

One thing to discuss during your free consultation visits with 3-4 bankruptcy lawyers....since you are considerably upside down on your car loan (owe more than the car is worth), ask if NOT reaffirming the car loan and the house mortgage is a good thing to do in your situation.

Hang in there, dover - sunnier times are ahead. And we'll be here with you to share them!

[guzzie]

welcome dover....good luck with this and god bless you