Don't know where to turn

[Heartburn]

Hi. I have been reading here for a while and thought it was time to post. I have read other forum sites over the past few months and chose to post here because of the caring and compassionate responses I have seen to those of us who are scared and feel all alone. I myself have taken on the personality of a feral cat, at times. I have started biting my nails...something I haven't done since I was in school. And that was a looooonnnng time ago lol
I have just under $40,000 in cc debt and a house that was to be foreclosed on. I received a notice of a hearing with a notice of sale, which was to be in Jan of this year. I don't know the out come of the sale, as it is in another state. I am now in Cali...the house is in NC. I haven't heard anything since receiving that notice. I made the move out here last May. I know I need to see an attorney. I am a bit scared to just open the yellow pages, point and call. I have no one to get a reference from. What is the best way to find a reputable attorney?
As well as letting the house go, I made my last cc payments at Christmas time. That is when we ran out of our savings. We have been getting letters from them, but they have yet to go beyond trying to collect. They all have our current address, but we don't have a phone. We are living with my in laws...father has Alzheimers and mother has been caring for him. We had to come here for them. They are both in their 80's. My husband didn't get employment until late last year. It was temporary work. He was just hired with a company last month. He is only making 9.50/hr. I do not work. I am here for his parents during the day. We mostly just pay for our own food, our car payment and we give his mom a little every month to help out with the utilities. I am confused as to how us living here would be figured in this 'means test.' This is her home, not ours. Would we have to include his mom and dads social security? I'm not sure how that works.
One last paranoid thing...I'm always thinking when I go the the bank to make a withdrawal that there won't be any money in our account, or, if I make a deposit, the bank will keep it and give it to someone else. All of this debt was opened in NC, not here. And I'm always afraid that something has been served on me there instead of here, even though they know where I am. Stupid, huh?
Thank you to anyone that reads this and understands. I know I need to see an attorney, but don't even know how to begin doing that. I have yet to cash our stimulus check and our tax refund. I want to use this to retain help. I am hopeful, anyway.

One note....I hope I posted this is the right place. If not, I apologize.

[AngelinaCat]

Dear Heartburn:

In a manner of speaking, WELCOME HOME. You have found the right place to turn. We have all been in your situation at some point or another. Some of us are just starting out like, you; some are almost through, or have completed their journey and still come to post and help the others; and yet others of us are somewhere in the middle.

You have a whole host of issues to deal with, not the least of which is dealing with someone with Alzheimer's. My mother, and aunt went through that. I will be glad to answer questions related to that if you like.

It is hard to say how to go about picking an attorney. We did it the stupid way with my husband picking her out of a listing on the Internet. We live in a very small town, and did not want to go to a local attorney because of the *stigma*, and all that. But we did not get a very good one, and if you search on our nicknames, AngelinaCat, and AngelinaCatHub, you will learn of some of the various issues that have arisen because of the attorney's failure to educate us enough about BK before we filed. *Nuf said there.

Some posters have suggested calling the clerk of the BK court in your district and ask for a list of recommended attorneys. Some of the other posters who hail from California and / or NC should be able to make better suggestions of how to proceed.

I will suggest that you go to nolopress.com and order their book on filing Chapter 7. You can get an online version or the print version for about half the cost of what it would be in a retail bookstore. It is written in plain English, and has helped us immensely--that ,and this wonderful forum.

One last comment for now; every emotion you are feeling is entirely normal and understandable. For a while at first, I felt like a was walking around with a giant blazin scarlet letter somewhere on me that I couldn't see, but everyone elsecould. As you read more here, you will learn that what you are about to embark on is a BUSINESS decision, and that there is no shame in that.

I will go for now, as I've left you with a little bit to ponder on, but I will be watching for your posts.

Again, Welcome Home.

[Heartburn]

Thanks for responding AngelinaCat...
It is so overwhelming. I read and read and read all I can. At the end of the day, my head feels like a bubble.
I have thought of trying to do this myself, but I'm not that confident. I think I have been to nolo and read there, as well. I think at this point, I have been 'everywhere' lol Sometimes it seems to become information overload.

Yes, the Alzheimers is hard to watch. My father in law was/is the sweetest man on this earth. Sometimes it kills me, when he has those days....where he looks me in the eyes and doesn't recognize me. So sad...I'm glad we are here for him, though. His wife (my mother in law) is 80+yrs old and up until we got here was basically caring for him on her own. It was hard for us to be 3000 miles away, just knowing this. Hubby couldn't sleep at night. Here is where we need to be. The bills had to come last. But, now that is not even possible anymore. I was so good and faithful at paying everything...sometimes before it was even due. The guilt of not paying has been eating me up.

Again...thanks for the kind words.

[PoorGrammyinBK7]

Heartburn - welcome. I know you will find caring support here. My dad had Alzheimer's and I understand what you mean.

We just filed yesterday. We are feeling somewhat relieved today - but not totally. At any rate, its done. We have 15 days to complete it. The attorney's office where we filed is soooo busy it is unbelieveable. A LOT of people in the same boat.

I just keep saying "this too shall pass".

I've just started the process myself but will try to help if you have any questions.

Blessings, Poor Grammy

[Heartburn]

Hi PoorGrammy!
Somehow it doesn't suprise me that attorneys are busy these days. I expect where I am (SoCal) I will probably run into the same wait. It is bad out here right now.
I think my main concern right now is my bank account. I am scared to put money in it and always afraid that money will be taken out. I haven't received any summons or any thing as of yet. I'm just always afraid that they will figure a way to get in and take it. I never have more than my husbands pay check in it. That's all we have right now. We are paycheck to paycheck.
I guess my one question would be the stimulus check and tax refund I am holding on to. Will I look like I am hiding it, if I don't deposit it? I want to use it to pay for an attorney.

Good luck to you! And I am sorry about your dad.

[Flamingo]

Heartburn...welcome and I am sorry to hear of all you have been through and continue to go through. Here's what you need to do and it will not cost you anything. Look in your phone book under the "State" section. All the state agencies, etc. will be there - look for your State Bar Association. There may also be a listing for it under lawyers in the yellow pages. Call them - explain you are new to the area and need to speak to some reputable attorneys about filing bankruptcy. They will provide you with some names in your area. That way you don't have to guess at all the ads or whatever in the yellow pages. Whatever you do, stay away from the lawyers with the ads on TV or have full page ads tauting Discount Legal Services.

Most attorney's give free initial consultations. Make sure you ask when you call. Make an appointment (both of you go) and take with you a complete listing of all your debts, monthly payments, paystubs, sources of income, asset listing and copies of your most recent tax returns, state and federal. The attorney will go over all that with you, your situation as to living with the parents, and will advise you what you can and cannot do as to your situation. Everything will appear more controlled to you that way and you will have an idea instead of guessing at everything.

Best of luck to you...

[Heartburn]

Thanks for the advice Flamingo!
I have been searching for everything lately on the internet, I may have a heck of a time just trying to find the phone book. LOL

[Shaoline]

Dear Hearburn,
I wanted to give a small piece of advise. If you are afraid to keep cash in the bank, don't. Get yourself a free checking acount if you don't already have one and only keep a minimum in the bank. I keep a minimal amount in my bank accounts. I take cash out of pay checks and have it store in a fireproof area of my home. Out of the money you do get set up a budget that includes saving. Even if it's $1.00 a week. Time goes by and that money adds up. If you can save more do it and do it consistantly. This will be your emergency money. Also save all your change as well. It's amazing how quickly that money can add up.

I don't use ATM or CC for Gas, Food, or any other personal purchases. I only use the bank account for paying bills only. I pay cash for everything. By taking this type of control over you money it will impower you and make you feel less like a victim. Look out for your best interest always. Have the attitude of Zena Warrior Princess. Take charge of the money you do have.

If you are worried about affording an attorney. Look into Prepaid Legal Service and see if this will work for you. You can get as much advise as you need for a very small membership fee. I have saved thousands of dollars over the years.

To all of you who members of this forum, thank you for your kindness and support.

May GOD cause his face to shine upon you and may you prosper at everything you set your hands to do.

[JRScott]

Foreclosure is not speedy in NC, it is possible the home has still not sold.....

Anyway This is a good place to hang around and get good info on bk, welcome

[Heartburn]

Hi Shaoline. Thanks for the advice.
What you suggest sounds like what I would like to do. I am a bit paranoid about money in my checking account. I just want to leave enough in there to make my car payment every month and use cash for every thing else. I haven't touched my credit cards since last fall/winter.
I guess that would mean that I would need to keep receipts for everything I spend cash on as well? Just to prove how much I spend on groceries, gas, etc...????

[Heartburn]

Hi JRScott. Thanks for responding.
Foreclosure process is slow in NC? I have yet to hear a thing from them. I received certified letters from them stating that a sale would take place in January and have not heard a thing since. I would assume that if/when something happens, I would hear something?
We lived in a small subdivision out in the country. We were one of four others who had walked away from their home...all on the same street. It was a manufactured/doublewide home, if that makes a difference. And it was with Wash Mutual. And, boy, where they a 'peach' to work with. We tried to offer a short sale with the loss mitigation dept and they wouldn't take the offer. Made no sense why they wouldn't accept the offer. Because they would have definitely gotten more out of that short sale than they will with foreclosure. Those homes are pretty much worthless...this I found out 'after' we had put a lot of money into it, to prepare it for sale.

[slam22]

Thanks for the advice Flamingo!
I have been searching for everything lately on the internet, I may have a heck of a time just trying to find the phone book. LOL

If you are in San Diego I can recommend a good one. If you want it send me a private message and I'll get it for you.

[Heartburn]

Thanks Slam22 for that offer, but I am in LA County.
I see that you have just recently filed.
Good luck to you!

[Help!]

The good news (if there is any in what you're going through) is that your income is so low that a Ch. 7 case should be an easy one. As bad as all of this is, I think what you are doing is wonderful and you won't regret being there for your in-laws. I am sure you are a great comfort.

[Heartburn]

The good news (if there is any in what you're going through) is that your income is so low that a Ch. 7 case should be an easy one. As bad as all of this is, I think what you are doing is wonderful and you won't regret being there for your in-laws. I am sure you are a great comfort.

Thanks for the kind words, Help. When my husband and I decided to put our lives on hold to help his parents like this, some seemed suspicious. That was extremely hurtful to us. These parents of his are by no means rich. All they have is their house and nothing else. And still making payments on it, I might add. My reply was "why would I give up my house to take this one?" My home was precious to me, but my love for my inlaws is more valuable.