Suicide and Financial Loss

[Bandit]

Suicide is a harsh reality for a lot of people. My father commited suicide when I was 19 because he couldn't deal with his pain and the pain he had caused our family any longer. It has been the biggest hurdle I have had to deal with in my life.

When I was younger, I was very angry at him and felt like Hub does that it's a coward's way of dealing with problems. But after many years of counseling and living as an adult with adult problems, I have become much more sensitive to his actions. I will never condone suicide as an answer, but can understand its appeal.

I feel the same. We simply cannot hold grudges forever.

I used to be very rude & mean to those who took their own lives, then one day it hit me right between the eyes for how it gets like that. I too am very sensitive to these thoughts & actions and also how it gets that way.

I am truly sorry for the loss of your father, but I can't hate him or look down at him either.

[Bandit]

I have found the thoughts of suicide bouncing back and forth in my head from time to time. Obviously much of it is due to stress from not being able to provide a more stable financial lifestyle for my wife.

Growing up, I always wanted to start a family, but financially it wouldnt be responsible to have a child right now. The best way to help yourself when you feel overwhelmed and depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts is to talk to someone. Talk to your family, friends, religious leader, or by even calling a help-line. Regardless of what you think, there are people who care about you, even if you do not know them.

One of the biggest misconceptions about suicide is the insurance pay-off. Most if not all life insurances have a clause in it that states it does not need to pay life insurance if you commit suicide.

This is the truth. All you have to do is talk & have someone who is willing to listen & not be persuasive, mean or make fun of them. It is a very seriuous & very real time that cannot be taken lightly or ignored or have cruel words spoken.

But you have to have someone to talk to & it somehow gets one through another day.

[scubaman]

Amazing

I have read this whole thread at work today and could not stop, I should be working but I just could not take my eyes away. All I can say is thanks to everyone who has shared there feelings on this subject. This is so encouraging to me. We all have our experience to share and that helps to see you are not alone. I am a strong person but for some reason where I am today at 54 I question everything that I have allowed myself to believe in and scratch my head. I feel like I have to let go of the past and start on a new canvas and pray that I still can muster up enough excitement to create my life all over again. I have not had a drink or cig over this BK thing and I am having to feel all these emotions and thoughts w/out help from the bong/bottle or tabacco (17 years now). This forum has been my new drug of choise when I'm feeling down and unsure of myself. The beauty of this is that I didn't agree or disagree but just allowed myself to read and take it all in without judgement.
I just really needed to let you all know how helpful you have been to me today.

Peace

[PoorGrammyinBK7]

I have read this whole thread at work today and could not stop, I should be working but I just could not take my eyes away. All I can say is thanks to everyone who has shared there feelings on this subject. This is so encouraging to me. We all have our experience to share and that helps to see you are not alone. I am a strong person but for some reason where I am today at 54 I question everything that I have allowed myself to believe in and scratch my head. I feel like I have to let go of the past and start on a new canvas and pray that I still can muster up enough excitement to create my life all over again. I have not had a drink or cig over this BK thing and I am having to feel all these emotions and thoughts w/out help from the bong/bottle or tabacco (17 years now). This forum has been my new drug of choise when I'm feeling down and unsure of myself. The beauty of this is that I didn't agree or disagree but just allowed myself to read and take it all in without judgement.
I just really needed to let you all know how helpful you have been to me today.

Peace

Glad we could help. Its been helpful to me too. Honestly, right now it feels like the only friends I have are the fellow BK'ers or near BK'ers on this forum. Of course there is my husband, but I hardly ever see him - he works so much of the time.

I am looking forward to that "new canvas". Peace to you too!

[Mi Bankruptcy]

Here's my 2 cents. 22 years ago after my mother walked out on me. My dad's second wife who I embraced as my mother also walked out on us after she mentally and physically abused me. My father worked 2nd shift I found myself abandonded and alone. I was admitted into rehab at the age of 13 for alcohol abuse. Every women I had ever met or cared for had betrayed me. Although I could go on and on....

Here's what saved me.

I will wait until tomarrow to commit suicide, if it doesn't get better I will wait until tommarow.. ya know.. after enought tommarrows.. life deals you a keeper..

Would ya know it.. I rebuilt my relationship with my mother( forgiveness).. I am happily married and have three girls. What lessons I learn from filing BK will be passed onto my girls in financial management.

In the end.. you are the only person that will let things define you. It truly is your choice. If you let money define you and you fail.. Then you have to move towards something else define yourself by(comeback from bankruptcy?).

For me it's my wife & Children who help define me. Ultimately.. I still control it.

If your feeling on the edge. Find someone you can help.

[Lacy]

My husband and I have finished with the BK process and our home is in foreclosure. We cannot find a home to live in. No one will rent to us because of our credit. We have no one to turn to. We have plenty of money (ironic, isn't it), but will more than likely be living in my husband's old Jeep (it's paid for).

I have been scrambling for the last 10 years to try and keep our family ship afloat. My husband broke his back in a car accident 10 years ago. For a year, I took care of him while working a full-time job. We financed our lives on credit cards. A few late payments and the interest rates were at 27-30% interest. No matter what we did, we just kept getting more and more behind. In a final attempt to stave off the creditors, I took out a payday loan at 1600% (yes, 4-digits). Then our home went through a flood and we lost all of my clothing, our clothes dryer, water heater and furnace. The basement needs to be gutted and the mold removed.

This is the load I have been carrying for 10 years... and I thought BK would be the answer. It is a partial answer, but we may still be homeless.

Sometimes I think of just quitting... yes, suicide. My life insurance would set my husband up well -- he could buy a small home and he and the cats would have a chance at a life, and I could finally rest and have some peace.

Yes, I think about it all the time. Am I a coward? I'm only a coward in that I'm afraid to commit suicide. The brave thing for me would be to do it...

I went to my doctor a few months ago when I started vomiting blood, he mentioned my blood pressure was 190/160 and that a stroke was eminent. After I explained what was going on, he said he wasn't surprised that my physical health was suffering... he said a "lesser person" would have had a breakdown.

So you can laugh and criticize the losers who think about taking the "easy way" out. But sometimes, life gives us more than we can handle.

I have tried to stay out of this thread because it really does hit close to home with me. Plus some of the words some members here have chosen to use about people who commit suicide really upset me. But find myself coming back in here reading and this post here concerns me and wanted to reply to it.


MNCarol you need to stop and think what this could do to your husband if you was to commit suicide. I think he probably would rather live out on the street then to be without you if given the choice. I think people who chose to do this dont really stop and think what kind of impact this will have on their family's. It will only make things worse for them , not better. Money or a house can not replace the lose of a loved one. Suicide leaves a life time a effect on the ones that you leave behind.


I pray if you are thinking of seriously doing this you will seek out professional help. If not for yourself please do it for your family... I know money may be tight but there is help out there that wont cost you a dime.

My prayers are with you.

[Lacy]

Here's my 2 cents. 22 years ago after my mother walked out on me. My dad's second wife who I embraced as my mother also walked out on us after she mentally and physically abused me. My father worked 2nd shift I found myself abandonded and alone. I was admitted into rehab at the age of 13 for alcohol abuse. Every women I had ever met or cared for had betrayed me. Although I could go on and on.

Here's what saved me.

I will wait until tomarrow to commit suicide, if it doesn't get better I will wait until tommarow.. ya know.. after enought tommarrows.. life deals you a keeper..

Would ya know it.. I rebuilt my relationship with my mother.. I am happily married, and have three girls. What I learn from filing BK will be passed onto my girls in financial management.

Sounds like you have had a rough life.. I can totally relate. Glad you was able to over come it all and find some peace and happiness.

[Mi Bankruptcy]

Thanks Lacy
Life has been tough.. However, I truly think unless you( or anyone) have been down and out, miserable or faced hard times you never truly recognize what the good times are and how happy you are. Also, their are plenty of other people that have had it worse than me. Even in bankruptcy.. I find myself blessed.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Here's my 2 cents. 22 years ago after my mother walked out on me. My dad's second wife who I embraced as my mother also walked out on us after she mentally and physically abused me. My father worked 2nd shift I found myself abandonded and alone. I was admitted into rehab at the age of 13 for alcohol abuse. Every women I had ever met or cared for had betrayed me. Although I could go on and on.

Here's what saved me.

I will wait until tomarrow to commit suicide, if it doesn't get better I will wait until tommarow.. ya know.. after enought tommarrows.. life deals you a keeper..

Would ya know it.. I rebuilt my relationship with my mother.. I am happily married, and have three girls. What I learn from filing BK will be passed onto my girls in financial management.