embarrassment

[floridian]

i have always been an upstanding individual, who paid my bills and obeyed the law...
now im embarrassed that any of my friends will find out about this financial mess and i know they would love to throw stones..

i have a brother that is a lawyer and i cant tell him, as i know ill hear a lecture about being irresponsible at my age... and how i brought it upon myself!......

as far as bringing it upon myself, i guess there is a little truth in that... i could have struggled along for a few more years and see what happens.... the catalyst, is that i hate this two horse town i live in and im miserable here.... with the current realestate market, it might be years before i could sell.. ive just had enough and figured if im walking from my house, im going to start over with all of it and go bk..

anyone else in my situation? how are you dealing with the embarrassment of a bk?

[Flamingo]

While you may not believe me now, you will get over the embarassment you feel as to the "stigma" of having to file bankruptcy. This economy has put so many folks from one end of the spectrum to the other in the big BK boat in which many of them never expected to take a cruise. Stuff happens - learn from it and move on. You will learn to make things better from this experience, believe me. Of course, there are some who don't and just go on to end up filing again in several years. But the majority never want to end up in that position again.

Your brother, as a lawyer, will be more than understanding if you wish to tell him.

Don't beat yourself up...it's a life event.

[BillyRip]

There are a lot worse people than those of us who are in a financial mess.

No one ends up here on purpose.

[Never_Again]

Oh, I know just what you are talking about! I used to be the biggest person against bankruptcy that you would ever find... Probably how I got here, being such an arrogant you know what...

When I finally knew the end of the road to bankruptcy had come, a mortgage broker (not one of the sleazy ones that have developed over the last few years, but an ethical, honorable one that I have done business with for over fifteen years) suggested that I talk to a lawyer. He told me that I should consider this, and he understood where I had always come from, and the pride that I had, but that he could NOT in good faith recommend I refinance my house to roll debt into it. He told me that it was up to me to make the necessary decisions to support my family.

The stigma does ease as time goes on, and although I am not publicizing to people still that I have had to do this, it IS much easier to deal with as time goes on. Every month that I move on post filing puts it a month closer to "old news," and less relevance.

[AngelinaCatHub]

now im embarrassed that any of my friends will find out about this financial mess and i know they would love to throw stones..

They aren't your friends. 'Hub

[Intoodeep80]

I havent told anybody except for my best friend, who I discussed my financial destitude with for years, I told my Boss who was very understanding, and my oldest Sister because shes in the same situation as I. Thats it.

I am totally with you on feeling embarrassed, especially with the "stigma" of people who file bankruptcy. I have a friend who was really nasty to another friend of ours who filed, it was almost like they were jealous. I dont want anybody else to know than who I've already told. Just a pride thing, I guess.

[BROKENN]

They aren't your friends. 'Hub

Amen 'Hub! Like this isn't hard enough already..........

Love the bottom line.
sometimes you have to find out who your circle really is, and this is a good sifter of that, I found out first hand

[JJL]

now im embarrassed that any of my friends will find out about this financial mess and i know they would love to throw stones..

They aren't your friends. 'Hub

You can say that again. Those that I truly think of as friends have all been supportive.

[Confused33]

You shouldn't be embarassed. What do you have to lose? You should be proud of the fact that you took a good hard look at your situation and realized it was time to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

I'm not embarassed at all. My mom and dad told me not to tell a soul as if they were embarassed for me. I told them that I didn't give a sh*t what anyone thought and if someone wanted to look down upon me for taking control of my future then they could kiss my a$$.

I've lived way outside my means for a long time and I'm not afraid to tell my story. The more people who know where I ended up the more people I can help not take the same path.

Keep your chin up! This is the BEGINNING.

[floridian]

one comment i heard on this forum, kind of summed it up... "if you dont do something, you will take the cc debt to the grave with you"... that is reality...