I am in the midst of a messy foreclosure and bankruptcy that I expect will be discharged by this time next year. (long story)
Anyway, I am single and have recently joined some online dating websites.
Here is my question. There are a couple of very promising guys I've been matched with on E-harmony.
But when they sent me their list of "must have's" and "can't stand's" (part of the e-harmony process).... both of them said:
* they can't stand someone who is financially irresponsible
*they must have someone who knows how to manage their finances responsibly.
Of course there were many other things on their lists, but the financial thing got my attention.
At what point do I let a new date/new relationship know what is going on in my personal finances? This is very personal and I don't think it is appropriate for me to be sharing this with them just yet. We haven't even gone on a date yet! Haven't even talked on the phone.
Is this a red flag that I should be paying attention to at this point? Should I go ahead and let the flirting continue and let it reach the stage of dating and then see if we have any potential?
Why should I tell them about my red flags if they haven't even seen my green flags yet?
Besides, maybe when they say "financially irresponsible" they are talking about women who run up credit cards and go shopping with hubby's paycheck. I am not like that at all, am very frugal.
And what does "financially irresponsible" mean, anyway? I am a stable person with a secure job where I have worked for seven years; I don't gamble or anything like that. I did have the misfortune of buying a house that was a lemon and ended up needing tons of repairs and maintenance. I ran up my credit cards trying to keep the plumbing, electric wiring and roof together. I lost every penny, does that make me financially irresponsible?
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Anyway, I am single and have recently joined some online dating websites.
Here is my question. There are a couple of very promising guys I've been matched with on E-harmony.
But when they sent me their list of "must have's" and "can't stand's" (part of the e-harmony process).... both of them said:
* they can't stand someone who is financially irresponsible
*they must have someone who knows how to manage their finances responsibly.
Of course there were many other things on their lists, but the financial thing got my attention.
At what point do I let a new date/new relationship know what is going on in my personal finances? This is very personal and I don't think it is appropriate for me to be sharing this with them just yet. We haven't even gone on a date yet! Haven't even talked on the phone.
Is this a red flag that I should be paying attention to at this point? Should I go ahead and let the flirting continue and let it reach the stage of dating and then see if we have any potential?
Why should I tell them about my red flags if they haven't even seen my green flags yet?
Besides, maybe when they say "financially irresponsible" they are talking about women who run up credit cards and go shopping with hubby's paycheck. I am not like that at all, am very frugal.
And what does "financially irresponsible" mean, anyway? I am a stable person with a secure job where I have worked for seven years; I don't gamble or anything like that. I did have the misfortune of buying a house that was a lemon and ended up needing tons of repairs and maintenance. I ran up my credit cards trying to keep the plumbing, electric wiring and roof together. I lost every penny, does that make me financially irresponsible?
Any feedback would be appreciated.
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