Elated - or Suicidal?

[spearmint]

I've ready many messages here from people who are just elated once their BK is confirmed. Why is that?

There's a good chance I will have to do a BK - and possible a Ch13 - and I see it as a fate almost worse than death! I value my freedom strongly and I see this as nothing short of archaic "financial handcuffs" for 5 years.

Why is there such a vast difference in reactions, I wonder.

[BKInLA]

My handcuffs are the minimum payments that have almost doubled in the last 12 months with rising interest rates and OTL and late fees piling up. Filing BK is definitely going to be relief for me.

5 - 8 years waiting for my FICO to come back is nothing compared to what I'm going through right now just trying to keep a roof over my family's head and food on our table.

[flyinbroke]

A 7 is liberating; to me a 13 is almost no different than what I am doing now...no money left at the end of the month because it is all going to creditors. I may see differently once an attorney slogs through my financial life.

However it can't be worse than what things are like now....no money left for necessities due to increased payments from ratejacks in an attempt to circumvent the new laws, credit line decreases slashing the credit score to ribbons, having to use cards to buy the necessities because I have no money after paying CCs. It is like the old cocaine commercial about working harder to make more moeny to buy more coke, and doing more coke to stay awake to work harder to make more money....except there is not even a buzz to go with this.

[momisery]

Mint, I did not want to file, hated every minute of the interview, and dreaded going to the court house. What choice did we have? We could not pay our bills due to layoffs and medical debt. We foresee no huge turnaround in the job market with both political stalemate going on. Working in banking the stock market rallys when the jobs numbers are down most of the time, and drops when unemployment goes up.. so who cares if we have a job in Washington our new multi-national corporate run government. No one on here enjoyed filing, they are just glad it is over with and they can start anew.

[HHM]

I've ready many messages here from people who are just elated once their BK is confirmed. Why is that?

There's a good chance I will have to do a BK - and possible a Ch13 - and I see it as a fate almost worse than death! I value my freedom strongly and I see this as nothing short of archaic "financial handcuffs" for 5 years.

Why is there such a vast difference in reactions, I wonder.

Because, if you look at the Big Picture, what is the alternative. The alternative is worse. Can you be out of debt in 5 years or less, on your own? If that were true, you wouldn't even be in this forum. The people that do nothing for years and year are the ones that end up living on $1200 per month social security because they didn't take the LONG VIEW of their financial life.

[HakunaMatata]

Creditors aren't going to assess and reassess your financial status and make adjustments in an effort for you to succeed. They aren't likely to happily reduce your debt load so you can achieve cumulative creditor debt-free status in five years. They don't care about your health, needs, or economic circumstances; and, they surely aren't going to make concessions when life challenges arise.

Most people are wearing tight financial handcuffs when they first begin pondering BK. A confirmed C13 loosens the proverbial handcuffs...a freeing experience...offering a new direction and opportunity for success.

Continue to value your freedom. We're not forced to file. We're free to select this path.

[LadyInTheRed]

Because, if you look at the Big Picture, what is the alternative. The alternative is worse. Can you be out of debt in 5 years or less, on your own? If that were true, you wouldn't even be in this forum. The people that do nothing for years and year are the ones that end up living on $1200 per month social security because they didn't take the LONG VIEW of their financial life.

This hit the nail on the head for me.

I'm still current on all payments so don't have the stress of creditors calling every 15 minutes, which is what I think is a big cause of confirmation elation. But, I still know that having my Chap. 13 plan confirmed will be a relief.

I stopped using credit cards a month ago and after paying credit cards, mortgage, utilities, gas and food, I have nothing left to pay for car & home repairs/maintenance, clothing, vet bills anything else I'm not thinking of right now and any unexpected expense without using credit cards and digging a deeper hole. I'll no longer be able to make CC payments in April when a 0% introductory rate on $20k expires. At the rate I am paying, without the upcoming interest increase, it will take me 20 years to pay off my unsecured debt. I'm 41 and have some retirement savings, but not enough. So, the thought of living from pay check to pay check while paying off credit cards until I'm 61 is more scary than a 5 year plan.

A confirmed plan will mean I am on the road to a fresh start. I see that 5 years as a time to learn to live on a budget without using credit, working towards the real moment of elation: discharge, when I can aggressively save for retirement while also putting enough money aside to take a modest vacation every year without using credit.

.

[onwards]

I've ready many messages here from people who are just elated once their BK is confirmed. Why is that?

There's a good chance I will have to do a BK - and possible a Ch13 - and I see it as a fate almost worse than death! I value my freedom strongly and I see this as nothing short of archaic "financial handcuffs" for 5 years.

Why is there such a vast difference in reactions, I wonder.

Well, sure, except that you're trading in financial prison for an ankle bracelet.

I think psychologically the main difference is that before filing, you don't have to fully admit to yourself to depth of your troubles. Even today, you can still play the shifting game between creditors, stretch it longer and longer, and there is always the hope - hope for a better job, better income, some way to get through this with your dignity intact.

The filing confirms and reinforces the worst - the stigma, the shame, the guilt, the sense of personal failure. These are powerful levers. We all experience them. But here's the thing; because it takes several months from filing to discharge, you get to process all those feelings just in time to realize, when the discharge comes, that you are now truly free of your past transgressions, the ankle bracelet is off, and you can lead a normal life again (hopefully assuming you learned your lesson, the, ah, recidivism rate in BK cases being an interesting case study).

Hence the difference between dread and elation. I think anyway.

[spearmint]

Yes, but the Chapter 13 sentence is 5 yrs long

[LadyInTheRed]

Yes, but the Chapter 13 sentence is 5 yrs long

A 5 year Chap 13 sentence sure beats where I'll be in 5 years without Chap 13. I can be handcuffed by chap 13 for 5 years or be a slave to creditors and an $88k underwater 2nd mortgage for at least 20 years, but most likely, the rest of my life!

Can you get out of debt in five years without bankruptcy? If so, Chap 13 probably isn't your best option.

[ToughTimes]

Can you get out of debt in five years without bankruptcy? If so, Chap 13 probably isn't your best option.

I think that about sums it up for most of us. I'd have been really elated if someone could have told me how I could fully repay our debt in five years!

I know that, as LadyInTheRed also relates, there was no way on God's green (or any other color) earth that we were going to ever be out of debt in my lifetime. Now we are.

The sense of relief at being out of debt (and formally forgiven by the judicial system) in contrast to the former sense of despair probably does look like elation to those new to this forum. You don't see the months of hand-wringing, mental wrangling, etc., that came before the sure realization that there just was not another viable path.

While some posts here may look like elation, it seems to me that the vast majority of those on this forum are being very, very cautious as they move forward financially after their discharge. It is certain that those who are kind enough to still be posting here some while after they've completed their BK process recommend caution. I don't think that's quite the same as elation. Relieved is what DH and I feel. Hugely relieved. Cautiously optimistic about our futures, even.

[sharina]

Handcuffs? Yes, in a way, but if you owe lots of credit card debt, you are handcuffed already and it took me a long time to come to that realization.

If you can't get out of debt in 5yrs with out it, I agree with HHM.

Chapter 13 is not an easy road, BUT you learn how to budget and live within your means. I have more money every 2 weeks left over now than I had before and that is due to very careful spending, but no rice and beans at our house.

When i am out and debt free, I still plan to use coupons, wait for sales, and all that stuff. I will never give a credit card company all that power over my life again.

[beachchick]

I have just read a new book, Bankruptcy, How To Survive and Prosper that details in great detail just how beneficial a bankruptcy is, how it is a salvation rather than a curse, it has helped me greatly, it is available on Amazon.com