need ideas on how to be assertive (effective) with attorney's staff

[pandacb]

I am an older woman near retirement age. My husband has worked hard all of his life and we are facing bankruptcy now because I have not been able to work for over a year. Before that, I contributed with part time work and raised the kids. Two adult kids with disabilities cost us alot of money. We do not have much luxury.

I find the bk process frightening and humbling. I am already embarrassed. We looked hard to find a knowledgable attorney and have paid him $2000 for a chapter 7. His paralegal made a number of mistakes in the means test and was rude about me taking up too much time when I objected. Now we are going before the trustee/judge with errors. My husband says it is the big picture that counts, and I shouldn't worry but I'm testifying. I wrote to the attorney about the errors but he did not respond.

Now today we got a package in the mail from a different paralegal for a reaffirmation agreement along with a note that it would cost another $100 in attorney's fees to sign it. This is in regard to our daughter's car that my husband co-signed for. The attorney's instructions were to not reaffirm and as long as our daughter is paying, nothing bad will happen to her credit or the car. I called to talk to this paralegal and she wouldn't even let me finish a sentence! All she could talk about was how the trustee might not let us reaffirm the debt because we are upside down in our budget. It took me a great deal of effort and patience just to be heard. I was treated like I was stupid. I think this is because we are bankrupt and these young people are just so sure it could never happen to them.

How do you all handle this stuff or is the attitude uncommon?

[nc73]

They assume because we hired them, we are absolutely clueless. In any case it's probably too late to find another lawyer. You have to insist that you hired them therefore they need to listen to YOU. If they talk over you tell them to let you finish. Treat them like the kids they are.

[Exployer1234]

I did hire an attorney just like the one you have. The good thing in my case was after 1 month of repeated calls I figured he just did not need my only 2200 dollars I had to pay him. I called and asked for my $500 dollar fee I had put down, because he had not done anything. I had not signed my BK paperwork yet though. I was first told I could not have my money back and I basically said if I do not get my money back I will hire another lawyer to get my money back. I received a check in the mail 2 days later.

I have learned that the best lawyers do not always cost the most money. I found a great lawyer that filed my BK paperwork in one week and has always returned my calls. This lawyer I chose works with her father and husband, does not have a fancy office building, does not drive a fancy car, and has 2 small children that are in my classroom. So needless to say it took me 6 months to find a great lawyer, and no one in the office has ever made me feel bad about having to file BK. It happens and no one should make you feel stupid. I believe good people have money problems, just because I am filing BK does not mean I am stupid. I have a college degree, but just feel onto hard times with the economy.

If I were you I would make an appointment to see the paralegal and attorney and express your concerns with them. If they refuse to listen I would contact another attorney and see what you can do about firing them and getting your money back. Though you are going through the BK process right now, you should not have to do this alone. You hired them and they should be there for you.

[meateater]

It sounds like the paralegal thinks he/she is superior to you, in my opinion, a very unfortunate attitude for anyone to take. If it were me, I would express my concerns to the paralegal in terms of their treatment, perhaps point out that while they probably know more about bankruptcy than the clients, that is no excuse to be condescending and rude. Depending on the age of these folks, I would ask them if they would want someone to speak to their parents or grandparents the way they are speaking to you.

I would also make sure to get all advise in writing, a paralegal with attitude may not know what he/she is talking about, and they will deny any improper advise if it becomes a problem. Send the lawyer a letter every week and document any lack of response, this will create a written record in case you need to file a complaint with the attorney bar.

If you are going in front of a trustee or judge, ask the judge to explain whatever it is that is happening. Don't assume the trustee is going to be mean to you, many people on these boards have commented that their trustees were just doing a job and has no desire to be mean to anyone.

the bottom line is that no one should be treating you poorly, least of all someone whose services you are paying for. It might be too late for you to dump this law firm, but its never too late to insist that they treat you with respect.

[Flamingo]

I work in a legal environment and I know that people in any work environment overloaded with paperwork, etc. can be demeaning and want to get the work done and out of the way. You should not have to encounter that after retaining an attorney you feel you like and for which you are paying and who told you one thing and now the paralegal is telling you another withiout saying the information they are telling you came from the attorney. Do not sign anything until you speak directly with the attorney. Tell the paralegal that, that you were told one thing by the attorney and he/she is telling you another. Just because you are older does not mean a thing; I believe you are just a nice soul and just bend a little when there is someone a little intimidating giving you instructions. You are not stupid, they are providing YOU a service you paid for so get input directly from the attorney if you do not understand or are confused by the paperwork or what you are being told. The way to handle anyone intimidating is to not let them see you bend or know they can upset you. They love to make others feel less than them so you have to make them think you are just like them - remember, you are probably old enough to be the paralegal's mother and have much more experience and knowledge that they will ever have. Get the attorney directly and get what you paid for...best of luck to you.