How do you afford a lawyer?

[merime]

The reason I have not filed for bankrupcy after a year of going under is I really can not afford one. I make $720 a month. Have 3 kids. I pay still on 3 CC. After groceries there is not one penny left. I have nothing. I am a only child so even family is not an option. How do you afford a lawyer? I am being sued by CITI and have Jan 31 court date. If anyone has ever been this bad off please let me know. Much appreciated!!

[ccsjoe]

How much would you be able to save if you stopped paying on cc's?

Is your case complicated enough to not do it Pro Se?

[merime]

I would save $225 on a bank of America which I pay because my husbands mortgage, (and he ALLOWS me to remain in the house), $113 on a Chase card. My husband takes $200 a month from me for a 3rd CC that his name is on. I do not know if it would be complicated. I only have my name on a house. My husband and I are together only because I can not afford to live on my paycheck alone with 3 young children. I have no assets, no car, and no family. Thanks for any help or advice.

[ccsjoe]

I do not even know where to begin. Your situation at home seems extremely complicated and I am sure this is not something you wish to discuss in a public forum, nor do I want to fall in the trap of judging either. Objectively, it sounds like you need to maintain the 225 and the 200 "payments" in order to have a roof over your head. So effectively, you would only be able to stop paying 113 without compromising your "living" conditions. Is this a fair read out of the situation? Is stopping the other two payments even an option for you realistically? Another quick question...what exactly is compelling you to consider bankruptcy? I hope I'm not sounding as probing too hard, just want to understand your situation and see if there's anything that can possibly be considered.

[merime]

Thanks for your concern. Yes the $225 is non-negotiable. The minimum on the $200 my husband takes is only $70, I really dont understand how I can get him to go down. Iam considering bankrupcy because I am being sued by CITI and the court date is in Jan. Yes, the situation is as bad as it can get. Its so hard and I cry a lot. Thank you!!

[chrisdfw]

Sounds like he needs to consdier bankruptcy as well. Then you could still negotiate paying him something... and he could keep more for himself instead of paying credit cards.
He will very likely come out ahead, it doesn't sound like he is exactly on the road to wealth.

He needs to face facts, if they sue you and garnish your wages, he may very well not get paid. This is in his best interest in all likelihood.

Also, are these also his children? Because if you declared bankrutcy, moved out and got a divorece he would have to pay child support.

[october99]

I think you would qualify for some sort of legal help through a state legal services division or the state bar. It would be worth it to do some asking and see what they might be able to do to help. Is your name on any of the accounts your paying for your DH in lieu of rent? Is his name on the Citi debt? Are you in a community property state?

[merime]

Iam in NC. His name is on one card that he makes me pay $200 a month for. He is the main cardholder. The other card I am the main cardowner, his name is on it , thats why I am paying the $115. I have tried to find legal aid, but get the run arounsd. No , my husband is perfect. Never a late payment, best credit history. He would never file for bankrupcy. That is why we are not divorsed. Yes, they are all his children. He will not divorse because we have been married 17 years and he is too cheap to pay child support. That is how I got in this mess to begin with. Our eldest has a speech delay. I homeschooled him and his siblings for 16 years. Last year my son began a difficult public high school and made straight As, If nothing, at least I served my children well. Anyway all through our marrige he would only give me about $100 a week for clothes, food and essentials for the children. I finally got a part time job last April. I only make $9/hr. I only can get 22 hrs a week. No his name is not on the Citicard. Thanks for all the support.

[ramirezhenry]

I think you are really in a big mess right now. Why not try to augment your family's income by working some online jobs. There are various legit sites. Your earnings from here would be good enough to pay off some debts.

[merime]

Oh, my mom was helping me pay the credit cardsfor many years. her money ran out. Also, she moved because she saw thew emotinal abuse and how cheap my husband is. My mom lived with us for 10 yrs, and last Nov moved back to NY.

[merime]

I did do online jobs. Got scammed a lot. Sold everything I could on ebay. I managed to pay minimus for years. I know a big mess!

[Pandora]

His name is on one card that he makes me pay $200 a month for. ... He will not divorse because we have been married 17 years and he is too cheap to pay child support.

First, I'm sorry that you're in such a hard place - my thoughts are with you. Second - if the card is in his name - then its his debt - I wouldnt pay it, especially under such a controlling man (sorry..). Third - if you file for divorce, he has no say on that nor does he have an option on paying child support - they are HIS children and if they remain with you, the law is on your side, as well as possible alimony.

While I'm not in your position, I know have friends that are as well as family - so I'll share with you what I tell them: do not stay married for your children's sake. If there are/have been problems for years, you havent hid it from your kids - they know. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity - a marriage is 50-50 and neither is a slave to the other. Your children are learning what they live - break the cycle and teach them that controlling another persons every aspect is not an option nor is it the way most people live.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

[chrisdfw]

Absolutely doesn't matter if he is too cheap to pay, there are laws and judges make orders, they get really pissy when their orders are ignored.

Forgive me, but it sounds like he is a control freak that isn't taking care of his family.

You are going to have to stop paying his bills one way or another, its math.

[enuffznuff]

I don't know much about bankruptcy but I know a lot about divorce.

It's really not up to HIM if you get a divorce and it's really not up to him to DECIDE if he wants to pay child support.

In every state, you have a legal RIGHT to a divorce, whether HE wants one or not. In every state, a noncustodial parent is required by LAW to pay child support, whether they want to or not. If he has a perfect credit history (and I presume, an income), he is not going to accept the results of not paying child support debts once established (they will garnish his tax returns, they will suspend his driver's license, they will hold him in contempt of court...) he doesn't GET TO BE TOO CHEAP TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. It simply isn't UP to him. I have a feeling he is used to everything being up to him, but this simply isn't. After 17 years, assuming he makes significantly more money than you do , you will also be entitled to alimony, which will also be a court ordered judgement which you can enforce.

It just isn't up to him.

You do not have to respond to this message, this is very private information and I don't expect you to share it on a public forum. But, it sounds to me as if your husband controls your household, and for some reason you feel afraid to go out on a limb and file divorce. I would gently suggest that before you file bankruptcy, which frankly I don't think solves any of your real problems, you find your local abused women's shelter and go there and ask them for help. I do not know if you are being abused or not (and you can be abused even if you're not being hit, by the way...) but they would be able to direct you to resources for women with children in a situation such as yours.

[discouraged]

I agree. My mother was in an abusive marriage, staying because of us kids. Well, as we got older we all convinced her to leave and we all helped out with after school jobs and housework so she could work. I do not know the laws in your state but as a human being you have rights.

Is there a Catholic Charities close to you? You may be able to find a counselor through them that can help you find resources. Or Lutheran Social Services may be able to help you two. Good luck to you. My prayers are with you.