I do not have enough money to hire a lawyer?

[mommi2many]

Honestly merime, you havent followed all the advice thats been given to you since last year - you've been in this situation and posted the same thing since you joined. I'm not saying this to sound mean or anything else as I am genuinely concerned about you and your children; I'm saying it because again, only you can do what needs to be done. Have you called a women's shelter? Have you gone to Social Services and explained your situation with your marriage? Have you looked into apartments that are income based and include all utilities? There are a million different reasons you've listed why you havent done something in the past year just reading through your posts. Again its up to you.

I believe I've mentioned this before (as have others) but will do so again - should you decide to leave.

Food:

go to angelfoodministries.com and look into it. For about $40 you can feed a family of 4 for a week. (this can be used without qualification - and if you choose to stay with your husband, you may use this as well).

find your local food pantry and go there. (of course, this should only be if you leave your husband since he makes 84K a year and you can afford food).

Apply for food stamps and assistance (again, if you leave). You will qualify based on your income.

School lunches (If applicable):

Reduced or free school lunch programs are there for a reason. Many now offer breakfast as well as lunch.

Clothing:

Check with the Salvation Army or Goodwill stores. Usually a few times a month they hold special days for families in need that require clothing (and even furniture). Sometimes its free, and sometimes its $2 a bag for as much as you can get in a bag. Many of the clothes are almost new, with some being brand new. Undergarments and socks you can purchase new at your local store(s). I'm sure you have a Walmart or something around.

Rent:

Check into income based housing (and no, not everything is "in the projects"); Section 8 is another option. If you qualify for food stamps, usually you will qualify for housing assistance.

Medical:

Medical can be provided for for you and your children through various programs - either free or income based.

Medical can also be provided through your children's school as many schools offer programs at the beginning of the year, or if something should occur, during the course of the year as well.

Counseling:

Same thing as medical - income based or free of charge.


Legal aid:

I find it very hard that your area charges for legal aid; then again perhaps its because of your husbands income. As many on here have attested, you can file for BK and have all fees waived if you prove certain things. The first thing you have to do however is get out of your situation.

As far as your situation goes - you can either choose to stay and be the victim or you can get out. The choice is yours and yours alone, no one else can help you or do it for you. You've heard this for over a year on here - yet keep saying "I cant". Yes, you can - question is do you really want to?

I'm a very strong advocate for abused women - and abuse doesnt mean physical, abuse can be emotional - as I had a very dear friend in your exact situation. Only problem was that she enjoyed the attention and sympathy it gave her, even if negative - and eventually everyone just walked away because after all the time and effort spent trying to help her and her kids, it didnt matter. In the end, she stayed and defended her husbands actions and wrote off everyone else. I"m not saying thats you - however I can see a very strong parallel in the situations, actions and methods, and it really bothers me tremendously.

Please get some help for you and your children. Children learn what they live.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

Wow, that is awesome advice!

Merime, you have complete strangers caring about you and your children. Take this advice and the first step to bettering your lives. You can do this! Best wishes to you and your children.
I believe I've mentione

[Okieblue]

Is WIC still around? If illegals can get food stamps, surely you can too. Angel Food, bleh, we got a box in the summer, ended up donating the canned stuff, could do better at my local grocer.

[LadyInTheRed]

Merime, after reading your other posts: please forget about bankruptcy for a while. As has already been said, it will not solve your problems. You need to get out of the abusive marriage. You said in another post that your husband isn't abusive anymore. If he has been physically abusive before, you don't know he won't be again. Abuse does not have to be physical. Withholding financial support of you and your children is abusive! It sounds like you have worked hard for years to do what is best for your children. If you can't leave your husband for yourself, do it for them.

You asked Legal Aid about bankruptcy, but did you ask about help with a divorce from your abusive husband? You may get a different answer.

Also, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233). I suspect shelters have to make a priority of housing women and children who are in immediate physical danger, so you may have to work harder to get help. But help is out there. If you get hung up on, call again and get another person, or call another organization. You have to be persistent. If you're husband has been physically abusive in the past, don't leave that fact out.

You and your children deserve better than the creep you call your husband! I know it isn't easy, but you have to force yourself to take action... NOW!

[merime]

I did and am trying. When I called a NC legal aid hotline, I was told that I would have to pay $50 for a consultation about debt/bankrupcy. They did not ask about my income, the consultation was to see if I qualify. I agree , I have to make changes,and I have. I can not stress enough what a huge deal it was for me to get a job. I went on so many interviews and was blessed enough to find one I can walk to. Its difficult for me to get to any shelters or programs because I have no car. I can not just get up and leave. It seems whenever I ask for help, I get rerouted and end up in a dead end. I strive every day to make a better world for my children. I have followed a lot of advice I was given here. It is truly hard when you have no family to support you. My mom moved 12 hours away last year because she hated my husband so much. She helped me so much, and without her I have no help. I will continue to save up for the bankrupcy. Being that I am about an hour from the city, it will take a lot of planning to get to social services. I can not afford to miss work , thats a problem too. I punch a clock and get no benefits, so every minute counts. Thank you for all the genuine concern. I truly feel grateful to everyone for the advice and help. I promise to keep updating on my progress. Right now Iam getting all papers together. I want to make sure when I stop paying BoA CC that they can not take or overdraft from anywhere.